Just thinking about this makes me cringe, here's what happened: I work at a grocery store (Fry's food and drug store to be exact), in the produce department. We have these really really sharp knives that attach to a sheath on our apron belts. These knives are sharp as fuck. A lot sharper than any knife i have at home... Well when I get off of work, my knife is still in my sheath, and i'm too tired to take it off when I get into the car. Well basically, without me knowing, my knife had fallen out of the sheath, and got stuck into the seat. I go home, shower, eat, pick up my bros, and we're all about to dip and go smoke in this secret spot we know of. We get there, pull out the bong, and pass it around like usual. Well when we finish our sesh, I get out, and stash the bong in the trunk, and when I get back in... "AHAHAHAHAHHAH WTF!!!" I sat on the sharpest knife in existence, like I literally freaking sat on it. It goes in about a good 4 inches, and while it's in there, it moves around, slicing everything in it's path. I had to literally pull this knife out of my ass, and that's when it started bleeding pretty badly. We weren't suppose to be out of the house when this happened, so I couldn't tell my parents what just happened. So at this point, I have 2 ass holes, and one of them is bleeding majorly, i'm panicking, and my brothers are all laughing their fucking asses off. I rush to the nearest CVS, buy a shit load of bandaids, and patch the hole up after cleaning it. The cut was about a full inch wide, and 3-4 inches deep. Took about a good month and a half to heal on it's own. That's my story of the ultimate buzz kill evar.
Im not high in the least and I am laughing pretty hard right now. Sucks that it happened but goddamn thats funny.
Shit, I would have had one of my friends sew it up for me and then disenfect that daily. Glad you're alright!
If a knife really went 4 inches into your ass you really need to get some help. That's not the type of thing you just leave on its own.
That must've hurt so good... lol jk. but jeez so you basically got stabbed in the ass??? pretty fucking hardcore if you ask me... show the girls you date that battle wound & they'll be all over you in a second. hahaha sorry but to be serious you should have seeked medical attention for a wound that big. next time you might not be as lucky. better be careful from now on, but glad your alright
I'm confused...how was the knife 'stuck in the seat' yet the blade still remained upright, causing you to sit on it?? Anyway, sounds nasty dude; you're lucky it didn't end up worse.
that was dangerous and i hope u went to a hospital.hope u feel better. totally buzzkill though... and too bloody funny....thanx for the laugh hope u are better
I probably wouldn't go to the hospital either. Why pay out the ass when you can clean it and dress it properly on your own. A hospital will do just that, and charge you for it.
I couldn't go to the hospital for two reasons, 1 i couldn't tell my parents at the time, and 2, we didn't have insurance, so even something small as stitches would have cost about a good 400+ bucks, no fucking way. I cleaned it almost everyday with rubbing alcohol and iodine, and then re patched it using the butterfly method, so the skin would be touching as it healed. once the scar closed up, I started applying neosporin everyday to make sure nothing gets infected and everything heals right. But instead of just one bandage, I used 3.