the story of my ptsd

i was 7 years old on that day we got a phone call. it was my uncle who had called inviting us to a pool party in his mobile home complex. i didint have a pool as a kid so i took advantage of the times we would get invited to one. it was four of my cousins and both my siblings in the pool the hours seemed like minutes because before i knew it the sun started setting, it was a beautiful California sunset and it was a warm late summer day. after i got out of the pool i found my dad passed out drunk on the front porch. as a kid who knew all about alcohol i tried ignoring it until it was time to head back home. my dad was too passed out and my mom couldnt drive due to her recent surgery. my uncle took our mini van followed by his wife's car behind us. once we got home my drunk dad stumbled home and literally passed out once again. being 12am my aunt and uncle start making their way back to their car when all of a sudden a guy in a back hoodie comes and kicks a huge dent in my uncles gmc. aggravated my uncle runs towards him and pounds him to the ground. the man quickly got back up and ran for it, once again once i thought the worse was over in came what i would have never prepared for in my life. 6 big men come out of nowhere charging at my uncle defenseless my uncle is taken down and gets beaten on without mercy. in a mixture of aggravation and fear  i run into my room and grab my baseball bat. and begin to charge into the crowd of guys. as i see my firs target i swing for it when all of a sudden i get taken down to the ground. before i know it i was being held down by my mom, my aunt and sister trying to break out of their hold i quickly became tired after being practically sat on. all i could think to do was watch my uncle get savagely beaten down by these guys. right when i thought there was no more hope my dad wakes up and runs outside, he quickly takes down two guys and the rest run and dissapear into the night. i didint remember much after that being so exhausted of squirming. 
it wasnt till i was 13 that i got my first flashback. i didint know what it was so i took it real hard. and from 13 and up my flashbacks came and went. nightmares would happen all too much, i felt like i was being targeted all of the time. gangs and violence become an everyday thing for me id see stabbings assaults. not only did this worsen my condition but it also contributed alot more traumatic events one being a witness of a stabbing in person. i thought i was crazy, i felt alone, like no one else understtod my condition. i went from being a mellow kid to becoming a violent teenager. getting in fights was all too common for me, my sense of humor was gone, i lacked those feelings i was once so passionate about. it wasnt till i graduated highschool that i felt obligated by myself to explore and learn more about my condition which at the time i didint know what it was. at 19 i was officially diagnosed with ptsd. though i now knew what my condition was i still could not control myself when i got flashbacks id still feel the weight of three women sitting on me and holding me back, nightmares about the incident came up alot, dreams of people getting stabbed occured all too much. my parents never believed in the condition therefor they didint put any effort in helping me out and i continued to feel alone and not understood.because of this condition my life was falling into pieces. from the ages 13 to 19 i self medicated myself with alcohol and cigarettes, it wasnt long until i set my foot down and dedicated myself to finding an alternative way of treating my condition. i tried therapies, counselling, support groups but none did the job. now im 21 going on 22 in march and even though i know that my ptsd is never gonna leave me i know that ive worked hard to find alternative ways to treat it. even tough ive progressed alot now compared to a few years back i still get flashbacks every so often. 

 

Yea he made it. He had to get some work done on him like stitches on his head but he m
ade it through

 

yea he had to get a few stitches in his head but he came out alright

 

thanks dude, its been real hard on me but ive managed to control my condition rather than it control me. luckily i have an amazing girlfriend who understands and has helped me progress