the sex was bad, so i'm not sure i want to see him again

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Zeddy, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. #1 Zeddy, Dec 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2012
    is that awful? i suspect it might be. i just don't know how much of a sexual connection we'll ever be able to have and having that in a relationship is extremely important to me. i really like sex and am a sexual person. i need to be with someone similar.

    it's actually been so long since i've had bad sex that i thought i couldn't have it. i thought that since i am amazing in bed and i can direct the situation, i should always be able to save it. not this time..

    first, i had to make the first move. that's cool for a girl to do if she feels super compelled. i just did it because i was exasperated. we'd been sitting in that super close, super flirty way for hours, after a long night out. so i just did it when i got too frustrated.. i think my expectations of this guy were too high. i'd already got attached to the idea of being really into him because he's smart and cute and looking for that and seems pretty interested in me. but the last few guys i've dated have had those things and have also been able to fuck me like champs. so i sort of forgot that it doesn't come naturally to everyone.

    the noises were awful. he made exactly the same noise in exactly the same way, same volume, in a regular beat. it was super mechanical. i can't get it out of my head. it was like a parody of faking sex noises; it was just so bad.

    he had whiskey dick, but i suspect some problems with getting hard even beyond that. dick was a little smaller than average, but not the smallest i've ever seen and it felt legit the morning after when it finally worked. we did have actually penetrative sex eventually. most of the night and most of the morning were just a lot of dry humping though. it kind of bugged me how he kept rubbing his semi-flaccid cock against my vagina because it kind of negated the use of a condom. but i felt pretty awkward trying to get one on him.

    i guess the thing that kind of sent me over the edge today was finding one of the discarded condoms in the bed. like he just left it balled up between some of my blankets. even if it wasn't ejaculated in and it was barely in my body, it's still a fucking condom. remember to throw it away.

    he did eat me out for a really long time. but he wasn't really that good at it. i was bored and my hips were starting to hurt by the end. if we do hook up again, i'm going to give him some pointers on it. i didn't last time because i didn't want him to continue eating me out. i wanted him to fuck me. i didn't yet anticipate the hardware problems.

    i had high hopes i guess.. maybe something similar is why he couldn't really perform. i'm just not attracted to him at all any more. i feel kind of bad about it.. but that little noise he kept making keeps popping back into my head. i feel like i might be able to force myself to overlook the issue by hoping it might get better or addressing it very analytically and kind of shutting down the part of my brain/body that deals with lust/passion/chemical attraction.. fuck that sounds like a lame thing to shut down. how much hope is there for this guy?
     
  2. if you're not sexually compatible and that's important to you, which I'm sure it is, then move on to the next one ;)
     
  3. Yeah sexual compatibility is pretty important. Maybe try one more time when he is sober and then make your decision?
     
  4. Thank you honeymoon! For all the guys out there who never got redemption after a bad sexual experience... give the brother another chance! But if he still sucks, especially if he's sober, dump the chump.
     
  5. I agree try again while sober... if it doesnt work move on

    I kinda experienced this... he had a pencil peen that kept stabbing my cervix; it was the 1st time so I get it, but he was trying waaaay too hard by switching us in all these crazy positions. I stopped answering his calls for a while.

    Eventually I told him that it just happened way too soon and killed the buzz going foreward
     
  6. i don't know if i'll likely get the chance to fuck him while he's sober. ever time we meet up he's already had a few beforehand. i think he uses alcohol and mj to calm his nerves or something around me, and probably others.

    i forgot to mention. he's a really bad kisser. he would continually shove his entire tongue into my mouth-- like my jaw had to be wide open to take it. that was pretty dominant i guess... kind of weird to have it done so much. i felt like he was trying to compensate for not being able to shove a hard cock into my vagina by forcing a whole lot of tongue into my mouth.
     
  7. Wow, dude sounds like a mess. On second thoughts, fuck it, on to the next one.
     
  8. yea.. i guess that's pretty obvious. treating alcohol like that isn't particularly uncommon in a university setting and he's been extremely successful with his studies. he's got a lot going for him. he only started drinking very recently (very late comparatively) and seems to be making up for some lost time with it. even outside of uni most dates involve alcohol.

    but yea..
     
  9. Tell him man. No one improves if no one helps
     
  10. Eh, when my boyfriend and I met it was just terrible...

    He is sexy, has a great body and a nice dick... but he lacked skill. So, I taught him and now he's amazing.
     
  11. Well... Im a big proponent of honesty. If you like all his other characteristics maybe you should just tell him you want to fuck when hes not sloshed and tell him why.

    Maybe its just the alcohol. Ive had some amazing sex while lit, and only once did the guy go soft. Sex with a guy drunk or tipsy tho is comedy n tragedy at once.

    If you were just looking for a quickie I guess you could just move on tho.
     
  12. hmm, might be a problem. have you gotten him on viagra yet? I heard that does wonders for the penis
     
  13. man i totally felt the same way about my sex......since im so good at it (not cocky) that maybe i cant have bad sex.


    boy was i wrong, ive had bad sex twice, and to this day i think im the only guy who admittedly walked away from both situations, both under a minute and i decided i didnt want to do this, told the girl and left. both are real good friends so no harm no foul but still most dudes i know would of pounded it out so to speak,.....huh uh, not me!


    sexual compatibility is HUGE for me also, and if they are a bad kisser(especially how you described) chances are you wont even get to the sexage with me.
     
  14. ehhh give him another chance,maybe try and train him lol
     
  15. Ok ladies compile a list of the 10 most hated things during sex, maybe make a thread about it i'm interested in this shit.
     
  16. The thing is about having sex with him again and doing it sober.. I really, really don't want to. I'm just so turned off this guy now. It would be an ultimate expression of mind over matter. I know it would be bad sex again because I'm having it just from feeling obligated to re-evaluate the badness and to give myself an opportunity to address/train him in sensitive topics that no one really wants to talk about.

    But yea, I'll think about it. Might be worth trying just once more. So what is it to have a frustrating evening if it makes it possible for me to eventually bring out this guy's full potential.

    It also occurs to me I could just dom his ass hard and micromanage so he has to do exactly what I say. I don't really want that to be our sex life though; I'm afraid it will quickly become the only way I know how to have decent sex with him.

    Ugh. Lie back and think of England.
     
  17. Lmbo I like you Zeddy very self aware. Dont stress yourself too much tho. If you're over it, you're over it don't feel guilty.
     
  18. Sounds like maybe he's just inexperienced? I think a lot of guys psych themselves out, and then stuff like this happens. He's so worried about if you're enjoying it, he;s not enjoying it at all. You're picking up on the fact that he's not really enjoying it (mechanical noises, not being hard etc) and its ruining things for both of you. In short, his inexperience or perhaps a simple lack of sex lately is making him insecure in bed. He's not going to be able to take the initiative and ride you like he means it until he THINKS he can, and he thinks you want him to.

    Just my opinion. You could certainly try and take the reigns in bed and tell him what to do, it could be just the push he needs to let him know you WANT it and you're not :just there". No guarantees though, as some guys are turned off in bed if the woman is too demanding/controlling. You'll only know if you try...
     
  19. How do you think people are good at sex? You reckon it's based on instinct or more on rhythms and knowledge of the subject? It is all about being comfortable and going with the motion and sound of the other person but do you get these naturally through genetics or just randomly?

    Too many questions about sex. All the time in the world.
     

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