The report... seriously, dudes... seriously...

Peeerhaps not... Well what can I tell yas? We'll start on the night we get there. We get there at about 1030 (to the hotel, that is) local time on Friday. We dumped our stuff and head off into town. Well... as we climb into the taxi I ask for our first coffeeshop: the grey area. Well... those guys in the TCA taxies don't know their coffeeshops (or this one didn't) so we were taken to the one he knew that all tourists like the best (or seem to) the Grasshoper. What was odd to me, as we got to know the grasshopper a bit better over the next few minutes, was that it was AT ALL popular with tourists. On the smoking floor the guy behind the cannabis bar wasn't very helpful OR friendly looking. The girls behind the pariphinalia counter kind of ignored me and had their own conversation for quite a while before serving me some papers... which I found were free at the end of the bar- thanks for telling me, girls. We still bought two grams of Kali Mist though and, although it was very highly priced (16.50 PER GRAM?!?!?!?!) it did get us pretty wrecked- a good sativa. Anyways we bought this and headed up to the terrace... where we discovered that neither of us could skin up (I went with my brother and it was the first time I got stoned with him) and that each of us assumed that the other could. After five or ten LONG SOBER minutes of trying to make a joint (him cursing the papers that he thought were too thin and me cursing the fact that there wasn't a rolling mat to be found anywhere) I remember my little "make your own pre rolled cone" trick. After producing some fine joints I am given the job of making the joints for the weekend...

Anyways with the grasshopper: don't go here- bad value weed, bad value beer, and their is some scary old lady in the toilets who cackles at you to give her 50 cents for the right to take a piss (no fucking joke!).

So we finally leave and head off down the street. After some time looking around we realise that we've been in that last coffeeshop for quite some time and head off. Well we go to try to find some cannabis bars and finally we hit a place called "ghetto." Not bad in here, pretty small, nice atmos. The guy behind the cannabis counter seemed chilled and both he and the girl serving the beer in the next door counter both took the piss a little out of me. Especially when I asked (with a rather Naive sense of awe- "is that one of those volcano vaporisers?... is it any good?" Both were met by sarcastic jokes of "yeah that's why it's got 'Volcano' written on the side" and "Yeah that's kind of why we have one..." Don't get me wrong though- they were cool people and the woman behind the bar even offered me a free Volc rental if I wanted it (even after I'd walked off without paying for the beer and she had to call me back... ooops...) I got a gram of NL here... very powerful it was, too, knocked me the fuck out as Indicas often do. After a while trying to get back to reality we went back to the grasshopper just because there were more people there and because we wanted to smoke more. If I'd had my time again I would have spent more time at Ghetto that night.

Next day we woke up and smoked one in the hotel room before going off to find some more weed in the town. Well we got as far as the bulldog in red light district square and decided to sit down for a chong and a think. We still had weed left from the night before (about just under two grams) so we sat and smoked and thought. One thing- Amsterdam shit is FUCKING STRONG- we needed next to nothing to get us BAKED!!! We ordered two drinks there but only sat outside- as much as I'd have liked to have gone in and checked the menu we just kinda forgot.... oops. Seemed really nice though- as did the other bulldogs that we checked out. Good atmosphere- which is what it's all about (aside from the rediculously strong weed). I would have loved to have sampled the "Woody approved" white widdow (I'm actually kicking myself harder than before as I just realised that if I'd have had my shit together I could have PMed Woody to ask the guy to come smoke with us humble lightweights- Next time it's a city free for all- anyone from here who wants to come join us then feel free if you're in the dam- advertisments closer to the time eh?).

So we moved on to die dampkring. Didn't stay long- just heard that their NYC Diesel was good so stopped in to buy half a gram. We were a little more careful this time as NYC is supposed to be strong. Loved it. Best high, best taste of anything we smoked there (ok so it was only four strains but it's on the MUST TRY AGAIN list). Wish we'd found that before we'd wasted the money on the Kali mist (not bad but we bought WAY too much of it). The bar was a little quiet at that time and although I wanted to sit somewhere quiet and empty my brother wanted atmosphere... Anyways that and a half slice of their space cake each and we went rockin on to coffeeshop paradise.

We sat down in paradise, ate our space cake and rolled an NYCD joint. NICE AS FUCK! Reggae music, good coffee, and friendly staff. Good stuff. Can't coment on the menu as I can't remember it but it looked good even though we didn't buy any. We went exploring for a bit...


...


And ended up in another bulldog again- the one just down the road from the red light district square one. So we chonged a kali/NYC/NL hybrid and then headed off again as my brother and I were becoming agitated by the music. In retrospect we thought it was ok but we couldn't hack it being stoned. So we headded off and found some other places... this bit is a liiiitle bit hazy so we'll cut forward to finding the bluebird coffeeshop...

This place was a little small. I wanted to buy some blueberry if I could find it but we didn't bother and just sat down in the end with some MORE Kali and a few drinks. Can't really comment on this shop but we did get a green light district map. VERY IMPORTANT and I wish we'd had one earlier. Anyways after stumbling about a bit more we decided to walk home... Of course we got a little distracted on the way but after two more reefers and some dinner in a coffeeshop that I don't remember we were good to sleep. Slept soundly until early the next morning...

The last day... We headded out and went to a coffeeshop called Rookie's. Very good Weißbier. We smoked some more of our stash and then gave the rest away to some kind looking stoner folks. We came back after visiting the Rejiksmuseum (sp?) and taking in some Rembrandt. Headed back and got a bag of their rookie skunk... wasn't too strong... kinda sweet and spicy but not strong at all. Fairly nice considering we had to figure out the flight back and all. We left the remains of that with a few more friendly looking stoners and hit the train station.

In all I think it was a good little poke around in Amsterdam... Next time I will make sure to:
*Only buy half a gram or so of each type of weed- that fucking Kali Mist lasted forever- which would have been good if not for the other types of weed out there that I had planned to sample.
*Get one of those green light district maps BEFORE I go out there- find out locations and not just coffeeshop names.
*Avoid the grasshopper.
*Stay longer- at least a week.
*Bring some back- security was lax as fuck in the Airport.
*Get some Dam Dwellin Dudes to come have a few reefers with us.

Meh- hope you enjoyed my description cos I enjoyed being there.

Peace.

 

if you do that- take lots of euros, stock up, and only go places that are part of the Schengen agreement!