THE OFFICIAL SEXIDENTS THREAD

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by GetLofty, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. Post your funny (or painful) sex accident experiences here! I'll start...I met this girl at a party and we were both drunk. She was cute but she had buck teeth and one of them were chipped. She also had a little bit of an overbite too.We find an empty room and we start going at it. I whip it out and she starts giving my head and everything's going good. It felt great right up until the point where her chipped tooth scrapes some skin off of my head!!! Instant pain and an even more instant loss of erection. She was saying "I'm sorry I'm sorry!" But as you would expect I didn't want to hear it. My feelings (and dick ) were genuinely hurt. I put my pants back on and went to examine my wounded soldier. There was skin missing where she scrapped it. I then went downstairs to drink my sorrows away for the rest of the night.To this day I still have that mark and have to explain that it's not an STD, but the result of a really bad drunken night.I now think it's kinda cool. Only the most experienced of soldiers have battle wounds. I think I earned my Purple Heart (Dick?) that night.oh yeah... First Post
     
  2. #2 cothrantyson, Jan 24, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2014
    Yea man, "sexidents" happen all the time to me. a few days ago, i was just chilling in during a lecture. There was this fine ass girl wearing tight yoga pants. So at one point, i was walking back to my seat and I tripped and fell. I didn't even realize that I had a big fuckin boner, and i fell right on the girl and and I fucked her through her yoga pants.
     
  3. >Having sex with 9/10 gf
    >ramming her hard
    >pull out as far as I can to take things to a whole new level
    >accidentally pull all the way out
    >go to thrust at full power not realizing that I'm too far out
    >bend dick back
    >blinding white pain
    >roll over
    >she's laughing says "you missed"
    >chuckle
    >moan in unbearable pain
    >get back to work
     
    Have also had a similar incident ending up doing anal accidentally. Take your pick of a better sexident.
     
  4. [quote name="TheRealGOM" post="19395152" timestamp="1390529605"]>Having sex with 9/10 gf>ramming her hard>pull out as far as I can to take things to a whole new level>accidentally pull all the way out>go to thrust at full power not realizing that I'm too far out>bend dick back>blinding white pain>roll over>she's laughing says "you missed">chuckle>moan in unbearable pain>get back to workHave also had a similar incident ending up doing anal accidentally. Take your pick of a better sexident.[/quote]I've done that and it hurts like a bitch!!Definitely a boner killer!
     
  5. [quote name="cothrantyson" post="19394799" timestamp="1390525988"]Yea man, "sexidents" happen all the time to me. a few days ago, i was just chilling in during a lecture. There was this fine ass girl wearing tight yoga pants. So at one point, i was walking back to my seat and I tripped and fell. I didn't even realize that I had a big fuckin boner, and i fell right on the girl and and I fucked her through her yoga pants.[/quote]This made me laugh cause I could picture it perfectly. Let me guess it took you a little longer to get up than usual right lol?
     
  6. Back in HS, my GF and I were getting it on in her car after a football game.  Think early 80's Corolla hatchback.
     
    We had just gotten in a good position and I started at it when a cramp I had had during the game came back with a vengeance.  So here I am in the backseat of a small car with a leg cramp.  First instinct is to straighten the leg, but I couldn't as the door was in the way.  I had to open the door by our heads and stretch out that way as far as I could, all the while she was under me.  She then had to wiggle out of the car so I could get out.  So there we are standing out by the car naked and I am doing my best to stretch the cramp out.  Needless to say we didn't finish.
     
    It's funny now, but it wasn't back then.
     
  7. I'm such a virgin, that if I had sex it would be considered an accident.
     
  8. [quote name="vengeance23" post="19398032" timestamp="1390576652"]I'm such a virgin, that if I had sex it would be considered an accident.[/quote]Good poon comes to the patient!
     
  9.  
    Greatest thing I ever heard.
     
    :hello:
     
    I feel you.
     
  10. I wasn't going to share this but......   I don't feel so bad now after reading through the thread.  
     
    We were watching the stars on top of a hill north of where I live.  There was meteor shower that night and I had a picnic planned with a little wining and dining.   We were on the hood of the car leaning back against the windshield.  Well one thing led to another and we started making out.  I decided to tease him with a little fellatio.  He was feeling a little frisky and started.. how do I say this.   He ummm... got a little excited.  He began to "participate" and ended up shoving his dick in my eye.  Hard.  I was sure my eye came out of the socket.  I jerked back and lost my balance.  I rolled off the hood of the car and hit the ground hard.  I hit so hard I had trouble getting my breath.  The fiance was laughing his ass off before he realized I was in distress.  He slid over to where I was to help and didn't stop sliding.  He slid off the car and landed on top of me.   In a purely instinctive reaction I brought my knees up as he was falling and... kneed him right in the groin.  We both laid there for a good 20 minutes groaning and laughing.   Needless to say the romance was gone so we packed our shit and hobbled our way home.
     
    To this day he is wary of my knobby knees and I wear safety goggles during sex (kidding).   
     
  11. [quote name="Carne Seca" post="19403055" timestamp="1390634712"]I wasn't going to share this but...... I don't feel so bad now after reading through the thread. We were watching the stars on top of a hill north of where I live. There was meteor shower that night and I had a picnic planned with a little wining and dining. We were on the hood of the car leaning back against the windshield. Well one thing led to another and we started making out. I decided to tease him with a little fellatio. He was feeling a little frisky and started.. how do I say this. He ummm... got a little excited. He began to "participate" and ended up shoving his dick in my eye. Hard. I was sure my eye came out of the socket. I jerked back and lost my balance. I rolled off the hood of the car and hit the ground hard. I hit so hard I had trouble getting my breath. The fiance was laughing his ass off before he realized I was in distress. He slid over to where I was to help and didn't stop sliding. He slid off the car and landed on top of me. In a purely instinctive reaction I brought my knees up as he was falling and... kneed him right in the groin. We both laid there for a good 20 minutes groaning and laughing. Needless to say the romance was gone so we packed our shit and hobbled our way home.To this day he is wary of my knobby knees and I wear safety goggles during sex (kidding). [/quote]That was hilariously cute even though I realized that you guys are a gay couple lol. No hate here love is love ;)
     
  12.  
    Sounds like something out of a movie.
     
    and safety by choice not by chance.
     
  13. Let's keep this thread going guys!!
     
  14. great story, Haha.
     
  15. This was the other week, two high school seniors parked back in the woods. Well we were in my single cab f150, not much room. Was going at it like fucking monkeys when I caught a cramp all the way down my leg. Tried to stretch it out but ended up laying into the horn. Scared the shit outta her so she jumped and slammed her head into the door. Like a couple of troopers we stuck it out for another hour though. Fun day

    sent from your mom's house
     
  16. i nutted in like 45 seconds one time.  it was incredibly embarrassing haha i was persistent though, i got a pretty good return time so we were back at in  like 15 seconds haha killed my vibe though
     
    another one was the first time i got head, we had been playing beer pong all night ended up going to this girls place. she didnt want to do it but after a lil goading she when in. i swear, for a minute i thought she was just nawing on my dick. made her stop. payback i came on her face  :metal:
     
  17. #17 Zera, Apr 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2014
    All most all my sex accidents happen when I try to be a sub.

    I'm a good Dom, and I don't accidentally hurt my subs, but too often when I try to turn things around, shit goes all to hell.


    My best friend/fwb likes spanking, and I was into it. It was not abnormal for me to pull off his belt and hand it right back to him to hit me with. He'd double it up and basically whip my back and ass with it, leaving a few hot red marks.

    But one night, he missed. I was bent over, he was going for my ass, but he ended up just a little too low. The leather belt slapped me right across my pussy and vulva, and I leaped away and almost crashed into a wall. It stang like a bitch and burned for a while. Not fun.

    We had a good laugh about it though, even though I hurt and he felt really bad. No damage done, just an honest mistake that left me sore for a bit.
     
  18. Here is mine guys! It is pretty embarrassing because I was way hammered.
    [​IMG]
     
  19.  
    When I say bony knees I mean bony knees.  They should be registered as deadly weapons according to the Ginger Avenger. 
     
    [​IMG]
     


  20. BULLSHIT! Hahaha did that seriously happen!?

    Sent from my LG-LS720 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     

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