The Official Caught Wanking it Thread

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by l.don, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. Alright I'll contribute a story
     
     
     
    So this one day I wake up and blaze, and as always the weed gets me VERY horny. I'm under the impression that nobody is home since everyone's car is gone, so I get naked, turn some porn on, and put on my headphones. Fast forward about 15 minutes and I'm getting pretty close to being finished. All of a sudden my friend bursts in the room; I had forgotten that he was to come over, and I told him last night to just come on in whenever he got there. So he comes into my room and screams "what the fuck?!"
     
    This surprised the fuck out of me so I jump out of my seat just as I start to cum. Jumping out of my seat also pulls my headphones out of the speakers. I'm bisexual and at the time wanted to enjoy some gay porn, so the room is filled with the sound of moaning men and the video is in fullscreen on my large computer monitor, clearly visible. I turn around and it's at this time that I uncontrollably start to cum; it's getting on the floor, my chair, my stomach, that shit was getting everywhere
     
    So there's my friend, standing in the doorway of my bedroom while I stand there facing him, completely naked, cumming all over the place, while a very loud porn video plays in fullscreen on my computer. He just stands there with his mouth wide open having no clue what the fuck to do and we just awkwardly stare at eachother for a few seconds while the porn continues to play at an absurdly loud volume. After a good ten seconds, my friend just quietly closes the door and leaves. I never heard from or saw him again after that.

     
  2. Jesus fucking christ
     
  3.  
    I dont waste water like that, but water is terrible lube btw.   I've forbid myself from shower fapping, it never ends well.
     
  4. havnt been caught beatin it but when i was like 13 i let my mum use my laptop, she came out into the lounge room where i was chillin and asks why my history was full of porn. was pretty awkward, i blamed it on my bro though haha.
     
  5. You guys are fucked, how do you guys wank with so little security???? I only wank in the washroom, use headphones and my laptop so whoever is outside thinks I'm just dropping a deuce. I have my own washroom in my room so I guess that helps as well lmao (Great for blazing).
     
  6.  
    Nah, you got it wrong. True fappers get caught on purpose.
     
  7. There was this one time my mom was trying to get into my room ( i had locked it and she didnt like it locked for whatever reason) and i was going to jack it before she came in and i put the sock i was going to use underneath me and i hear from outside the door "IM GOING TO PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS". So i say oh fuck because im thinking shes going to look underneath me but before i can get the sock out she bursts into the room and whips the covers off of me and she was saying something to my little brother like-"come watch" or something so i real quick tried to be smooth and throw the sock to the left of my bed but she sees me and she says "what did you just throw back there?" And i say-"uhhh nothingg" (guilty af) so my little brother looks on the side of my bed and says-" he threw a sock" and my mom gave me a look of disgust and asks why i threw a sock and i gave some bullshit excuse.... So technically i got caught by my mom and little brother even though he was to young to really know what i was using the sock for....


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  8. Sounds fucking terrible. What was her fucking problem with calling your brother in? Thats the shit that scars people.
     
  9. I vividly recall having to make the split second decision of wether or not to throw the sock.... My little brother will look back on it and be like oh my bro was fucked up lmfao


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  10. So your gf dads came on his daughters face...

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  11. Rumor time! I heard through the grapevine that some dude in high school was jerking it off in the restroom stalls to Pokemon porn. My friend said he can here the Guy moaning (he was in the other stall) He waited outside until he finished and laughed at him and he turned red from embarrassment . Then my friend proceeded to tell the whole school. At first I didn't believe him when he told me about what he heard until another girl confirmed that he had been jerking it in class. No one talked to him, he was shunned and avoided and viewed as a creep. I guess he deserves it for doing it at school, fuckin wierdo.

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  12. I was super baked and decided to hit the hotdog, I thought since both my tv and xbox were on (no volume though. Turtle beaches) I thought the hum of the electronics were loud enough. To me they seemed loud because I was baked as fuck I decided to defeat the purple headed yogurt slinger. Mid way into it I hear my dad laughing down the hallway at like 1:30 a:m. And hes saying "faster faster". I was so embarrassed blue balled then went to sleep. Didnt even make eye contact and tried to avoid him for like a week.

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  13. Friend's roommate was caught at least ten times by his roommate and everyone else. This was the horniest kid standing at 5 foot 3 inches short, not tall. He used his buddies computer when his was in the shop... I wonder why it was in the shop... Anyways, one kid was joking around and sent this kid an anonymous text asking for nudies to exchange and of course without any self-control, the pic was sent and we felt so bad we kept it shhh. Probably less funny and more disturbing lol

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  14. Update...tldr below. So, I really don't care about where I use my vibrator. I use it work all the time, I just can't resist. Anyways, one night I was up really late using it and I didn't goto sleep( yes I can goto sleep on my job) until around 3. For some odd reason my alarm didn't go off and I woke up at 6:55 and my shift ends at 7. So I'm scrambling trying to get my stuff ready to end my shift. Grab all of my stuff and leave. 7 hours later when I get the urge to use my vibrator again I look in my purse and it isn't there. I goto my car and it isn't in there. Where the fuck is my vibrator? Then it hits me I think I left my vibrator at work. Ha I call my boss and asked her if anyone found anything odd Lmao she said no and started getting suspicious so I just told her I left feminine care products on accident and can I go get it. She allowed me to, so I speed up there and bypass the girl working and while I try to find my damn vibrator. Hmmm it isn't there. So I leave just enjoyed my weekend. Monday night when I clocked in my co worker came to my car and said I have a gift for you lmao.

    Tldr I left my vibrator at work, my co worker found it In the couch underneath the seat cushion. She said she sat down and it started buzzing hehe.

     
  15. Then don't click it. No one asked you to go to this or tricked you into it. If it's so sick and filled with kids like you said, you MUST have read it, which implies interest.
     
  16. I've had many incidents of this happening when I at 12-13. My dad had to have a talk about me locking my door.
     
  17. So one night I closed my laptop after jerking off, forgetting to close the window. The volume was high because I had my headphones in the previous night.

    The next morning I open the computer to use it and suddenly loud moaning starts blaring from the speakers! I struggle to silence it but I cannot because no button mashing, power button spamming, or shutting of the laptop will help. After 10 seconds I contemplate throwing it through my window but decide against it so I just quickly type in my password and shut it off. Another 10 seconds, then I hear both my parents dieing of laughter. FML was the best way to describe the feeling.


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  18. When I was 13, I had my legs up because I masturbate weird (female) and was ready to climax when my brother walks in and sees my legs up and I'm like "my feet itch." And he's like "...." And just slowly shuts the door..

    About two months ago I walked into my brothers room to find his laptop and end up finding like 20 cum socks. Found out what was making his room smell. I'm about to puke rethinking this lol.
     
  19. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz5WCbQQBec
     
    Never been caught myself. I just come on this thread stoned sometimes because it's fucking hilarious. Dude who came as his friend walked in on him watching gay porn is a fucking legend :laughing:
     
  20. Dentists office bathroom
     
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