The Movie script that may make me famous

Discussion in 'General' started by foxracing500r, May 25, 2009.

  1. Ok guys, its my 1000th post, and I havent posted anything worth while in God knows how long. Lately I have just been replying and not contributing to you guys, and thats unfair.

    So, for my 1000th post. I am going to give you guys or Grasscity, the first ever sneak peak of my newest script that I am writing.

    There are still things to work out, and I need to introduce the characters better. So without farther ado, here it is Ladies and Gentleman.

    P.S. This hasnt been posted on any other site or on any other computer. The only one who read this besides me is my mother, who likes it and cant wait to read more.

    All Copyright and any use of the following text is mine. Foxracing500r, Foxracing500r Films, and Foxracing500r INC. Any useage of the following without my consent is against the law, and all person(s) that violate this will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

    Work in progress, Screenplay written by Thomas J Pope. Entitled Stoner Among Zombies/AKA Stoner Zombie Movie.

    Morning montage, with Sublime - What I got, playing on alarm clock and then transfering into background for montage.
    We see Evan, our main character waking, drowsy, take a bong hit, light a ciggarette, and go to his bathroom, which is attached to his bedroom without a door. He sits on the toilet and picks up a Performance Car magazine and reads it as he takes a crap, he then gets into shower which is right infront of the toilet. Camera then positions outside a trailer home, which Evan walks out of onto the front porch. He rolls up a joint on the handrail, while sitting down.
    He then walks down the stairs to his car, a 1969 Mini Cooper convertable. Rusted and mismatched tires and rims.

    Evan: I love that song
    As the song goes off and radio is turned down. Evan then picks up his phone and dials his best friend Craig. The call then goes to answering machine.
    Answering Machine:Hey, you've reached Craig, Im not here (Coughs mid sentance) right n (coughs again) later. (Machine Beeps)
    Evan: Doooode, wake the fuck up man, rise and shine.
    Craig answers in a sleepy voice, camera then switches to a pile of covers that Craig is under, in his bedroom. A bunch of old band posters on the walls, and guitars in the corner.
    Craig:Yeah bro, whats up?
    Evan: Work motherfucker, I am outside. I am trying to smoke this joint before we go in dude, hurry.
    Music changes to midsong Iron Man- from Black Sabbath
    Craig slowly gets out of his mountain of covers and smoke is pouring out. Craig coughs and puts a bowl and a lighter on his nighstand. Craig goes into his kitchen where he grabs a shirt and pants off the table, throws on his shoes and lights a ciggarette before coming outside.He stumbles over to the Mini Cooper and climbs in, shutting the door behind him.
    Evan: Dude, you know how I like to get good and high before clocking in.
    Craig: I know dude, I woke up early, and I took a rip off a bowl, and I left my mind man.
    Evan lights joint as they start driving down a empty country road, woods and fall colored leaves on both sides.
    Evan: So what do you think Ernie is going to have us do today?
    Craig replies as he coughs out some smoke from the joint
    Craig: Fuck if I know, I hope he lets us stock shelves all day.

    Evan pulls up to a abandoned house and they sit and smoke the rest of the joint

    (Inprov. Basic guideline, changing ways of living)

    Evan: Man, I want to stop living this way bro, I want a nice house, and a sweet fucking car too.
    Craig:Word, I am so tired of this broken ass town. No money, trailers.
    Evan cuts in agreeing: And the buzzkill of the people up here!
    Craig: Wooooord
    As Craig blows smoke out of his mouth slow for dramatic effect, pointing at Evan

    Evan tries to start the car, it stummers and stalls.Evan sighs and collapses to the steering wheel. Evan gets out real calm, and we see a black circle on the front fender, the circle
    has shoe marks inside of it. Evan then stomps the side of his car. Evan crawls back inside and burps a smoke puff.
    The car magicaly fires up when he turns the ignition over.

    Craig whispers as he rubs the dash: Good girl

    Evan: Now its time to go be "The Mans" bitch for 8
    Craig: I want to be a rapper man, like I want Dre's money, I want the best Chronic, and I want the best cars.
    Evan: I want a Porche man, like a 79 911.
    Craig: Man I am talking American Muscle baby, 69 Charger. Like Old Man Timbrookes. I am going to mash the throttle though
    he never shows off.

    Scene cuts to the Mini Cooper hauling ass down a country road. Leaves and dust fly on both sides and remain floating once the car has passed.
    Camera still above air.
    You can hear Evan shifting through the gears as the engine whines.

    Camera cuts back to the rear of the car. D.A.R.E., and Police Support stickers cover the rear of the car. Car pulls into a small shopping center.
    Camera cuts to inside car.

    Evan:Time to piss of the Rednecks.
    Craig: Hell yeah bro, Biggie, Biggie Smalls is the Illest!

    Notorious BIG ft Bob Marley - Hold Ya' Head Up, is blaring from the speakers.
    Camera cuts back to rear of the car, as the sub woofer shakes the rear window.
    Camera then cuts back to the inside of the car, facing our characters outward the side windows.

    Evan: What Up?
    Evan screams to an older couple.
    Craig: Sup my *****?
    Craig says to 2 black guys walking to their car.

    Evans car pulls into a parking spot located infront of Jimi's Diner.

    Camera cuts to outside the car as Evan and Craig open their doors and smoke rolls out.

    Evan: Damn Bro, looks like Ozzfest happened in my car.
    Craig laughs uncontrolably.
    Craig regains himself as Ernie, the boss walks up to them, on his way to unlock the building.

    Ernie: Was that Marijuana smoke that I saw you two?
    Evan: No sir, the Old girl has a gasket leak, so when I turn the heat on, the smoke travels inside.
    Ernie: Oh, thats horrible guys, you need to invest in a new car. Look at my Beauty.

    Camera cuts to a 1979 Porche 911 Twin Turbo. Its rapped with 20's and a Canary Yellow paintjob.

    Evan: Damn Ernie, how did you afford that?
    Ernie: My bonus from the employees working so hard, thats what you can buy if you work harder. Speaking of working harder, you two are on Meat Counter Duty. I want you both scrubbed and gloved asap!.
    Ernie walks away friskly, and Evan and Craig are left standing next to the Porche.

    Evan: Why God?, why did you let this assfuck get the car of my dreams?
    Craig replys acting like God: Because he is Jewish
    Evan starts laughing: You always know how to cheer me up man.
    Craig: Its what I do

    Our guys walk towards the main entrance doors
    Camera cuts to their backs as they walk in mocking Ernie.

    Craig: did you see his dorky ass? (Craig then raises his voice to that of a nerds), If yah work hard, you can be a cocksucker like me.
    Evan also mocks their boss: Yup, and with my Porche, I am going to get no pussy, because I like cock

    Camera changes to the breakroom where Evan and Craig walk into talking from the hallway.

    Craig: So hey, there is a party tonight man, that bitch Trisha invited me. She said all her cheerleading friends will be there.
    Evan: Yeah but how is the dude to bitch ratio man. Speak numbers to me here.
    Craig: 4:1 man Four to one.
    Evan: Im down, thats like a guaranteed lay dude
    Craig: I know

    Camera cuts to our guys behind a Meat counter with hairnets and a meatcoat on. Evan is wearing a Beardguard as well.

    Evan: This is bullshit. We should be home, getting fuuuucked up, and listening to some Hendrix
    Craig: I know man, but think, God has made us go through Karma first bro. See, we go through the bad good now, and the pussy is the good later man
    Its like the circle of life man.
    Evan: Motherfucker, did you spark that cyclone in the bathroom
    Craig has a grin that is extremely noticable.
    Craig trys to act serious: No
    Evan: I know you did man, that shit didnt even make sense.You get the first old lady now. Karma is a bitch huh!
    Evan gets out before snickering.

    Craig turns to the counter and greets the old woman.

    Craig: Hello mam, what can I get for you
    Old Lady pulls out a huge list
    Old Lady: 1lb Bologna, 2lbs Virginia Ham, 1/4lb of Provolone, but a 1/2lb of pepperoni, 1lb of your swiss and 2 lbs of honey turkey
    Craig looks clueless
    Craig: What?
    Evan steps in to help her
    Evan: Im sorry mam, he has a test comin up and isnt too good with numbers right now. May I see your list so I can help you?
    Old Lady: Why certanly young man.
    Evan finishes her order and turns to Craig. Evan nudges him in the arm and says
    Evan: You knucklehead
    Evan walks away to the bathroom.

    Montage of deli meat and cheese flying off shelves, with our characters moving fastly behind counter, as customers scatter.

    Evan gets ready to punch the clock with Craig behind his ear, when Ernie walks up.

    Ernie: Hey guys, dont punch out yet!.
    Ernie catches his breath and finally gets out
    Ernie: Its a madhouse out there, I need you guys to close up for me.
    Evan: Man we have a party to get to dude.
    Ernie: Evan, Craig, you do this or your fired.
    Craig: Evan, I can barely afford to live on my own now, I cant lose my job.
    Craig: Aight Ernie, I want overtime though.
    Ernie: Done.

    Montage of our guys behind counter once again helping people.

    Evan clocks out and Craig does the same right behing him.

    Craig: Time to get laid man
    Evan: I am so glad to hit a party, should we stop and get some herbage?
    Craig: Naw man, fuck that, we party tonight for free!
    Evan: Hell yeah, now spark that cyclone man.
    Craig says following with smoke coming out his mouth, and in a low voice: Woooord

    Camera still of Mini Cooper fly down road again, with in nightime and moonshing on road illuminates leaves being scattered, as Evan shifts.

    Camera cuts to inside car, Evan is puffing on the cyclone

    Evan: Dude, we havent passed one car man
    Craig: Everyone is at the party I guess bro.
    Evan: I hope my mom isnt there, that would suck.
    Craig burst out laughing.

    Camera cuts to the rear of vehicle again, its dark but you can see a driveway our guys are on, with a house and a bunch of lights.

    Evan:What kinda party is this? everyone is running around and there is a billion lights man.
    Craig: Maybe its some new Redneck shit?
    Evan: Fuck if I know, where should I park?
    Craig: Near the closest door bro, I gotta piss.

    Evan steers towards the front door, parking a foot from the porch of a Farm House, on a farm.
    Our guys open the doors and smoke pours out.
    Evan stumbles up the stairs behind Craig.
    Craig opens the door only to see an empty livingroom, with Dr.Dre - Still Dre bumpin on the stereo.

    Craig:Where is everyone?
    Evan: I dont know man, lets grab a beer and find them.

    Evan grabs 3 beers and jams the cans inside his pockets, Craig does the same but with a bottle of Whiskey as well.
    Just then, from the front door they just walked in, a huge black man bust's in. His teeth were bloody, and his eye socket was torn through his cheek.
    He had half of his arm chewed. The man growls at Evan and Craig.

    Evan: Holy shit, whats wrong with him?
    Craig: I think he is OD'ing man, look at the foam.
    Evan: I think he has rabies man, its not normal.
    Craig turns towards the giant man and says: Excuse me sir, where are the bitches?

    The Giant man screams as he starts running towards Evan and Craig.
    Evan and Craig start upstairs in the farm house. While the giant man follows behind

    Evan: Ahhhh, into this room
    Craig: I cant its locked
    Evan: kick it down man, hurry!

    Craig uses all of his weight to burst through the door. Suddenly Evan is motionless, as his eyes get huge. He is staring into the room without blinking.

    Evan: Holy fucking Christ man, look at that

    Camera cuts to 30 Marijuana plants under Hydroponic Bulbs.
  2. i take it this is a work in progress? pretty good so far man... i want to reread it when im not so hungover/high so i can give you some feedback/criticism. i too like to write scripts, but im more into the actual shooting/production/editing of the film.
  3. Holy shit man, you actually sat down and wrote an entire movie. That's awesome. Make it better!! That's what the pros always say: They never feel like their stuff is good enough, so they're always trying to improve it, and that's how it turns out good.

    I like the idea, I'd watch it.
  4. Yeah, diffinitly a work in progress. I too myself want to get more involved in Movie making. But we all take small steps.

    I think this in actual movie time is only 12-15 minutes worth of movie time. I havent even gotten into the main story. Which I am still working the bugs out of.

    Blanned. Thanks bro. I dont like alot of it personally. There is alot that I read and just say WTF is that. But I will end up doing that with the whole thing. I need to just see what the people like, and go from there.

    This was sadly enough written in 2 days lol. I was off and I got so shitface stoned that I decided to finally put more of my thoughts into a movie script again. I have been writting shit since I was little. Like in 3rd grade, they gave us a short 100 word halloween story. I wrote one that had me suspended because of violence, but in the same, my teacher liked it, and gave me more writing asignments.
  5. *Note to self*

    Steal Foxracings idea.
  6. i will find you, hunt you down, and smoke you up so we can make this god damn movie...

    oh.. i guess fox can come tooo.... :rolleyes:
  7. lol, Hey man, the thing about me, is I wont be a rich dick. If the people of Grasscity want to act in this, or atleast be extras. You all are more then welcome when the casting happens.

    As it is now. I would really like Jonah Hill and Michael Cera to play Craig and Evan.

    SPOILER: And when the movie finally transitions into the older versions of them. I want Seth Rogen as Craig, and either Bill Hader or Jason Seigel as Evan. I would really like to get Jason though, he plays a great stoner.

    I also would like to have to Dog from I am Legend to play Zeppelin. You will see him later in the movie.
  8. dopeness my man. it sounds like something id like to watch fersure.

    "excuse me sir, where are the bitches?" lolll
  9. Dude is funny as hell so far. KEEP POSTING BRAH.
  10. I personally hated that line. I thought it was cheesey and predicted on most college stoner/party movies. But I knew it would get laughs so I think I might keep it.

    Everything here is like a Preview, I guess you could say, a dry run on what to cut, and what not. So I guess let me know what you dont like personally.
  11. this has the making to be the best movie ever.
  12. Good first draft. Interesting characters, and we desperately need another weed film. I love 'em. I'm seeing visuals, so I'm into the story. Thanks for sharing your talent! :D
  13. Thanks a ton. I finished up alot more recently. But I am only going to post another chunk when I get a good size of it done. The most recent part I have written is funnier than the first part. I seriously think I can get this made. :metal:
  14. man this is sick good job, good work. if theres open parts im definately down to participate, shoot me a pm if you want and we can work something out..
  15. love it so far!
    keep us updated, sorry im high but are you sending this into a publisher at all?
  16. well that is quite the hiff clanginger there!
  17. That was great man. :D
  18. :hello:........................
  19. it sounds good man, shot gun being evan.. id rock that guy so hard.
  20. I dunno man - i'm not going to bash it if it's WIP but it seems fairly cliched - the plot development is weak as well - you introduce the main characters and the zombie too closely together - there needs to be more build up unless you're going to do some weird Tarantino shit and completely distort the timeline

    also, you need way more description at the start of the scene for a film script

    by the way - Porsche is spelt with an "S" and the "Jewish" gag is fucking weak and seeing as 99% of all the people you are going to beg for funding are Jewish you might as well not bother trying

    just my opinion - straight from the hip as usual

    it has potential though and I wish you all the best in getting it screened

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