the mentality of a kid without a father

im in the same position. lived with my mom most of my life, only seen my dad a couple times he was in jail and he has like 6 other children but like 5 different women and only has contact with 2, so that side of my family i have never really connected with. one of his sons(my youngest half brother) is also in jail.

 

My dad died when I was 9. He was kind of old and was ready to pass but that's wasn't really fair to me and my sister. We were young and needed a father figure. I've never really thought about it but I think I resent him a little for kind of abandoning us. ( I say abandoned because he would have lived, wouldn't let us take him to the hospital, he wanted to die I guess). Been through so many situations where my mom didn't get it. Needed my dad. Thanks for letting me vent

 

So many finger pointers riding high horses I see when it comes to this matter. Not every child is lucky that his father chose to stay. Some (many) would have been lucky had their father chose NOT to take on the task. Such as ones who can't cope and end up taking out all their anger at the world on their own kid. Many people wish their father's had stayed the fuck away from their life. As their influence is naught but a cancer.

Baby making is just an unfortunate consequence of having sex in many cases. Not so many males are happy or pleased when a girl gets pregnant and decides to keep it. It's a major life altering decision after all. So why is it that so many think that they have the God given right to judge someone's morality, when they themselves are anything but righteous.

Kids being raised in broken homes often grow up to be broken people. At least until they can patch themselves together again. And EVERYBODY's got a sob story. Some are just more shocking than others. Does that answer your question?

 

Get your dads side story before you judge much man picture painted by your mom might look diffrent

 

Wow. I'm pretty shocked at the responses on this thread. I guess for a dad it's a little different because he can't choose whether she keeps the baby or not. Be everyone knows that sex can make babies and if you don't man up to your choices, then you fail as a human being. Point blank. It's completely fair to resent someone who has abandoned you. I don't know my dad. I don't know his name and my mother has schizophrenia so I doubt she even remembers who he could possibly be. I don't resent him as much as I resent the effects of not having a father figure in my life. I struggle for men's approval and now at 22, I'm starting to see how important it is for fathers to be dads. I have an & month old son and luckily his dad is amazing because I can't teach him out to be a man. I don't know what it's like. Boys need fathers. So, fuck all of the dads who chose their selfish needs over their children. Now as adults ourselves, we do need to dig down deep and figure out what is broken and we need to fix it and let that resentment go.

 

[quote name='"trainunderwater"']Wow. I'm pretty shocked at the responses on this thread. I guess for a dad it's a little different because he can't choose whether she keeps the baby or not. Be everyone knows that sex can make babies and if you don't man up to your choices, then you fail as a human being. Point blank. It's completely fair to resent someone who has abandoned you. I don't know my dad. I don't know his name and my mother has schizophrenia so I doubt she even remembers who he could possibly be. I don't resent him as much as I resent the effects of not having a father figure in my life. I struggle for men's approval and now at 22, I'm starting to see how important it is for fathers to be dads. I have an & month old son and luckily his dad is amazing because I can't teach him out to be a man. I don't know what it's like. Boys need fathers. So, fuck all of the dads who chose their selfish needs over their children. Now as adults ourselves, we do need to dig down deep and figure out what is broken and we need to fix it and let that resentment go.[/quote]

Some dads dont get the option to be round no matter how much they wanna be its not such a black and white subject as your making it seem

 

If you really want to see your child, you will find a way. My husbands dad kidnapped him as a child. I am by no means saying that it's the right way to do things. I am saying that if you can so easily just say, ah, fuck it. The mom doesn't want me seeing the kid so I wont. Then I think that's messed up. Be an adult even if the mom isn't. Take her to court. Be cordial to her. But be an influence in your child's life. If you aren't, your kid has every right to think you're a shitty father.

 

Honestly, I would like to know of a situation that justifies a father not being around for their kid? When is it ever okay?

 

Mother puts the father in jail military enlistment so both mom n kid can live good mom plain out keeps the kid away from the dad court puts dad on jail for missing a payment theres a good list

Never said its okay but good amount of states favor the mother alot of different variables

 

if i as a father know im gonna fuck up this kid more by being around than the usual "daddy wasnt around growing up" situation, i would fucking abandon him, kids without a father can sill become great things, kids with a fucked up father too i guess, but he'll never forget about his fucked up father.

 

Hold your head OP

 

I think that if a parent knows that he or she is fucked up and will mess up their child's life, then they should make an effort to better themselves. Bottom line for me is that you can't make too many excuses on how you can bring someone into the world and then act as if they don't exist. There are a lot of scenarios that we could get into. I'm not judging you personally. I just know that I would fight like hell to be in my child's life.

 

[quote name='"trainunderwater"']I think that if a parent knows that he or she is fucked up and will mess up their child's life, then they should make an effort to better themselves. Bottom line for me is that you can't make too many excuses on how you can bring someone into the world and then act as if they don't exist. There are a lot of scenarios that we could get into. I'm not judging you personally. I just know that I would fight like hell to be in my child's life.[/quote]

Take inti account alot of kids are accidents

Kids im the back seat cause accidents n accidents in the back seat caused half them kids homie

 

They just don't give a fuck my farther bought me a plate of Chinese food at the age of 11 and never seen him since. Up until this year I have 2sisters a 3 brothers and I recently tried to catch up to them but I feel like I don't even care were all different there Haitian and strict and shit no smoking blah blah but it's like I did this good without him for this long .. When they all came to my apt I was happy toshoe him I got everything under control and didn't need any help from him to get we're I am in life today. Lol and
My siblings hardly look like me except one sister and one brother and those are the only too that are like me do yea. Nice thread bro. Chk out mines as wll

 

Yeah I agree one hundred percent with this. I would much rather any child of mine grows up with the 'daddy wasn't around' sob story for that of my own.

And as for the girl who see's everything so black and white. There are lot of cunts out there who don't let their kids Daddy see him because they 'don't want his influence in their life.' These self righteous quims are often favored by the judges. In fact they are pretty much ALWAYS favored by the judges. So if a woman is determined for her child not to see their Daddy, then she can more often than not make it so. A court ruling has more power over a law abiding citizen than you care to admit.

 

Sounds like you got some shit you wana say to your dad bro. Maybe worth it.

 

Say no more.

 

Not even, My dad wasn't around for all of my childhood and I hardly see him now but I had a sit-down talk with him about why he wasn't ever around when I was younger and he told me that my mom wouldn't let my dad see me and shit and it's true and I see that it is now because even when i'd be at my grandmothers house on my dads side and i'd get presents my mom wouldn't let me take them home, like what the fuck man. I kind of have this resentment towards both sides of my family for lying to me, I don't know who to believe .

 

I do see the situation in black and white. I have seen way too many fathers (and some mothers) go along in the world and have little regard for what their children are doing. They dont even call on birthdays or provide financial support. So... Blame the mother or the judicial system or whoever you want but I think that most people should be taking personal responsibility for their actions. Kudos to the dads who deal with baby mama drama and still see their kids and go to school plays and look at their report card, ect.