The meaning of life.

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by LiveFreely, Oct 9, 2010.

  1. I once knew the meaning of life,
    now, all I feel is strife.
    All is right when you are content.
    When the meaning is lost, you feel spent.
    Everyone has their own reason,
    but forgetting the meaning of life is still treason.
    The truth runs deep, it can be hard to see,
    but when you remember the meaning of life, you're free.
    I once knew the meaning of life,
    now, all i feel is strife.

    Just wrote this, what do you think.
     
  2. honestly?...if you rewrite the whole thing without trying extremely hard to make it rhyme, i think you would be able to convey your message much better.....
     
  3. haha alright cool.
     
  4. I almost neg repped you
     

  5. Yeah...
     
  6. I like it. I disagree with the advice given above, I don't think you think you should change a thing. If anything, add to it dude. This is what the artist corner is all about. Keep it real.
     
  7. Cool man cool, thanks. The kids above need to stop hating.
     
  8. Seriously. I think you were trying to hard but I kinda see where you were going with it
     
  9. Yeah word. I wrote it as a philosophical type of poem.
     
  10. Just a tip, the whole rhyming every two lines is kindergarden stuff. Just my opinion.

    Immortal Technique is one of my favorite lyricists.
    IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE LYRICS - The Prophecy

    The rhyme can go for more than one line. Try to bind with the lyrics of the time. Release all that you believe like the energy of the seas. You see?

    Yes that was crap but the first line rhymed and I was bored
     


  11. Yeah i get what you're saying...it makes sense. Thanks.

    Edit: btw immortal technique is the shitt!
     

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