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The Life and Times of Coach Ethel.

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by smokinokie, Jun 14, 2002.

  1. As he sit's in the corner licking his wounds, the eye twitch is finally starting to recede. No more shall he have implore base runners to stay close to the bag on a fly ball. No more shall he have to utter the phrase "KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL WHEN YOU'RE SWINGING!" Never again shall he try to pacify a rabid mother who wants a piece of the ump's ass.

    Coach Ethel is hanging it up.

    Not because it was a bad season, 13 wins against only 6 losses!

    Not because there are some parents who could take a lesson in maturity from their kids.

    Not because we lost our last game to our most bitter rival 10-8.

    It's not because of my team, God love 'em, everyone! I had the coolest bunch of kids I've ever been around.

    It's because I'm just too into it!

    I'm tired of living and dying with every pitch!

    Case in point;

    Four times this year we've had the bases loaded with one out. I've begged pleaded and yelled at my base runners to hang close on the fly ball. Four times I've had double plays and big innings killed because they did'nt!

    Tonight against our aforementioned rival, in the next to the last inning we had them loaded and our big hitters coming up. We were down by 2. The same friggin thing happened!

    It was really a shame too. They had played a really smart game up to that point. Coach Ethel barked LOUDLY for all his base runners to come and see him on the way to the dugout. They got a rather stern talking to.

    We never recovered and lost by 2.:(

    Now Coach Ethel feels a little bad that he barked so loudly. These girls played some excellent ball this year. Now that I've came home and burned a bowl I realize that being a coach is a lot different than being a player. There's really nothing you can do about the outcome of the game. Except yell a lot, and try to keep young minds in the game. And more than that, I feel like I've got 11 more daughters. You want to see them succeed so badly, but your limited in what you can do to help. I played baseball for 12 years and basketball for 8. Before games, I was cool customer. But before coaching a game, I'd find myself JUST FREEKIN JACKED!

    Maybe it's the responsibility. Maybe attempting to live out my dreams thru my kids. I dunno. Something to ponder I suppose.

    But the season's over now, and I think it's time for me to step aside. The absolute determining factor was probably the shithead parents. If your kids playing ball, fellow O.F.F.F. members, don't coach from the stands. I'm not saying sit quietly, it's cool to be supportive. I'm talking about doing the coaches job from the seats. So many times this year I had batters looking in the seats where mom, dad, grandpa and uncle Jack were all offering batting tips. Never saw one of them at any of our many practices. Also saw a lot of parents in the process of ruining the game for kids who were good. Ridin' their asses all the time. Had one hot rod pitcher who's dad made her quit! This guy was a major asshole! And stupid too!
    He could'nt see that he was gonna burn her out on the game, and worse than that, she was probably gonna wind up hating him too!

    I guess this probably pretty boring to people who don't know baseball (softball)'s occupied the last 4 months of my life. It helped carry me thru my rough time with Patch. And I've had a ball thru most if it.

    I'm now gonna be the exclusive coach to the daughter, and no one else's. She's got her daddys glove abilities! Oooops! There's that living out my dreams thru the kids again.....:p

    So off into the night, as the evening mist settles on the field, Coach Ethel, turns too take one last look at the field, where so many times, for one brief moment, the entire world hung on the glove of nine year old girl, standing in a field, on a warm summer's night.

    As our hero turns to leave, he hears a call from across the parking lot,


    To be continued............
  2. I sooooo know where ya are coming from Ethel. Done more then my share of coaching, with simular experiances!!

    I'm VERY competitive, so the hardest thing for me to handle is that win, lose, or draw,'s just a GAME!! And the kids have a totally different perspective on it then we do!!!

    Parents who won't help, but tell you how to coach! or drop off their kids and flee, like you're runnin' a day-care!!

    There's an article in our local mornin' paper about a Lady coach of 7&8 yr old girls, that was beaten brutally by an irate Dad!!!

    So all things considered I can understand you being reluctant to continue coaching,

    BUT!!! If YOU don't do it smokie, WHO'S gonna???????

    And will you really be happier in the stands then the dug-out?????? Somehow I just can't see it!!!! Just MHO, but the children do NEED ya big guy, too few parents are willing to help!!
  3. Ethel, it's time to hang it up!

    When you forget that its nothing more than just a kids game, its time to leave it behind for all participants, including the parents, kids, and other crazy well wishers taht hang around the ballpark.

    I realized this last year that sports is nothing but a game to be enjoyed by kids and when it gets beyond that point, you need to leave it alone. I used to live and die with my teams, emotional rollercoaster taking me through the ups and downs. And then one day I read a quote from the Original Big Poppa, Ernest Hemingway. After racing, rodeo, and mountain climbing all other professional sports are nothing more but children's ball games played by overpaid adults. BOOM that was it for me and sports.

    Do it because you enjoy it, or it will consume you.

    ANd now a quote from the original Ray Stevens:

    "Ethel???, is that you Ethel?? You put your clothes on!!!!"
  4. Coaching was exactly that for me ,,up ,down,with every pitch or swing of the bat,,,having all those little daughters you want so much to do well,,and when they bum out you die inside..I stayed out this past year for all the reasons you spoke of...I help out if the team needs a hand,,but I sure coach my daughter,,and that is working better now that dad is not coach..she said I was to much of a coach before,,now I'm more love em...

    basketball bite eh....

  5. just reading old posts ,[​IMG]

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