The "I'm Horny" Thread

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by inkielee, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. It is tempting to hire a prostitute after four years of no sex but it just never appealed to me, because I want to be wanted. In three years I will be 30 and then if the situation is the same I will be saying I am 30 years old and have had less sex than most 19 year olds. Something has to change. I either have to have a lot of sex very soon or I will give up sex and the material world and emigrate to Tanzania to work as a Lutheran missionary.

    Or I could just smoke a bowl, which is usually how I put sexual frustration out of my mind, but I am without weed, once again, so y'all have to hear my bitching.
     
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  2. Getting a pocket pussy was great but, now I need a robot that'll actually love me :laughing:
     
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  3. theres a app for that lol
     
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  4. Can u get a pocket pussy with a built in speaker that says yes daddy when you're fucking it
     
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  5. Theres a blue tooth app for that.
     
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  6. I need one with sexy TTS robot voice like Alexa that generates dirty talk.
     
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  7. Someday i am gonna have so much god damn sex i'll just fucking die of cardiac arrest from the biggest orgasm ever had by a human being, and being hailed and worshipped as the all powerful sex god that I actually am. It's just no one knows I'm a sex god yet.
     
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  8. When that finally happens lmaooooo
    hi3qO1P.gif
     
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  9. Laugh all you want. I am significantly better looking than that guy. I was made fun of as a virgin at 17 so i've got a decade of experience. You can't beat me. I will also outlast any bitch who wants to play the game of how long i can wait for sex, because chances are she broke down and got laid sometime beore the four years since i have seen any.
     
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  10. Dude it was a joke I'm sorry if you took it personally lol, that guy was also a famous comedian/actor & worth 5 million $ according to Google :confused_2::laughing:
     
  11. No worries, I'm just a fiery bastard. I'm a hothead. Being almost 30 and not having had your penis in enough vagina will do that to you. I'm 1.21 jizzawatts of jizz inside two huge testicles. I have held back for so long that when i plow her fields i will plow her fields harder than any fuckboy she has seen. She can bring her friend over and i will fuck them both. I will make any dick she has seen look like child's play. And it will be good and amazing. And i'll be the coolest kid on the block. I'll be so cool that you can be cool by association just by knowing me. I'll be so cool that people will be calling and saying Dave can we hang out, and i'll be saying no and hanging up.
     
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  12. I have a fantasy of cuddling someone and watching their favorite movies or shows and ordering us some food. Then slowly making out till we feel a spark and having them touch me slowly to let me know when it's time for the action.

    Lately I've been having I guess what some call romantic sex fantasies. Nice and slow and with lots of flattering and flirting and kissing.

    It's always weird to think I'm a man tho with super romantic fantasies and not much freaky.

    I've tried watching all kinds of weird porn like bandage and domination and kinky stuff but, I've always like the way they looked yet wanted to see their sweet side. Just see some super goth be sweet and loving.
     
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  13. i could never take severe BDSM / S&M etc shit seriously, even the bit of 50 shades i watched (didnt watch the whole thing) made me giggle. its all make believe. she is not really your slave, she cannot sign a contract or whatever that allows you to do all this shit to her, in a real life scenario it's a given that it's a fantasy and if it's a fantasy then what exactly am i getting off to? lol. i don't understand it. in the words of the late great robin williams (rip), "my right hand doesn't believe you"


    i guess there are women authors out there who fantasize about this shit and write it and then cater to all the other people who fantasize about it, then there are grown men with enough of their own issues and trauma posing as obstacles to a romantic life, who would be happy just to have sex period. and when u have known loneliness for a long time, u crave romance and affection just as much as sex itself.

    but i'll make sure i know how to flip the switch, be either sweet n loving or the beast she wants to fuck her hard lol. that way u don't stay boring. i'm sure christian grey has a lot of issues and shit too
     
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  14. I feel I lived out being a "bad boy" when I was a teen. I once had sex on the train tracks, it was her idea she liked the sense of some adrenaline and it made me kinda nervous. Even then.

    However I played it off by smoking a little weed and drinking and she loved it. I feel like every man goes thru a phase like this where they wanna be "bad" or a women wants them to be bad to them either or, it's the concept of excitement really, and some women like this phase of a man's life.

    But as we get older we just crave stability and safety. I feel it's all part the mental cycle and getting more mature or old. Sometimes we want that simple touch and to know we're truly loved. Of course some people never grow outta that phase either and keep the kinks and thats okay thats why there's different types for everyone.

    But lately I just want a stable life and a stable partner. I had my fun with meaningless freaky sex already and now want an attachment with my sex from being lonely. I seek older partners at least 5 to 10 years older than me because I know a lot them want the same things and are mature. However we can share stories from our wild daze together.
     
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  15. i missed the young and wild phase, or it just has yet to occur. i'm gonna go with the latter. 27 isn't too old for that right? right. just lie about ur age lol. i look 21
     
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  16. I too, am well trained in the penetration techniques and Sodom arts.

    Btw, an ice breaker when talking with muslims is talking about anal sex
     
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  17. If i do not fuck a girl in the ass before i am 30 i deserve to get fucked in the ass. I'm already getting fucked in the ass by your friendly neighborhood "law enforcement" anyways.
     
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  18. #24758 Goblin_smasher, Jun 14, 2021
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2021
    A former coworker told me you are not gay if you fuck a man in the ass. Its only gay to receive. I Said how you doing in the closet? It was originally a story about fucking a ladyboy in thailand
     
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  19. Yea, no. Lol. I tread the razor's edge of femininity permissible to a red blooded straight male but i am straight. in fact my indescribable vibe enrages a lot of people. that's good. if no one cares about you enough to even hate you, who are you?
     
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  20. The ladyboys are enraged and ready to fuck you in the ass. Dont go to thailand
     
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