The Im fucked up thread

Man I got so fucked up one time I thought it was snowing(it was July) lol bout to be fucked up again what's good?

 

[quote name="UnsuspiciousUsername" post="19420705" timestamp="1390890197"]I broke up with my ex-girlfriend two years ago after we had sex on Valentine's day. Edit: Oh, I thought this was another kind of "I'm fucked up thread."Well I'm completely sober right now so...this is awkward. [/quote] ahahahahahahahahaha

 

Happy birfday yo! Here's a shot for you

 

 
Seriously though, I just stopped drinking on Saturday. Had my last beer Saturday night. Only smoke a couple times a year now. This thread is came too late for me to post a present story.
 
However I can tell an old story that I have posted before, but many people didn't see.
 
When I was 18, my friends parents were out of town for the weekend. I went over there and smoked hookah in his kitchen, then we hotboxed someones car in the driveway then drank a bunch of beers at his house. Then we went over to some other kids house who was having a party. We ran out of our beer after drinking for an hour or two there and went back to my friend's house. We had a whole handle of Popov that was room temperature. I was pouring like 3 shots at a time and chugging it then chasing it with warm Shasta.
 
Then about 20 minutes later someone came over with a bong. I had a couple hits than sat down in a chair while watching tv. I told someone I had to puke and they brought me a big pasta pot to throw up in. All I could say was "I can't aim! I can't aim!" They held the pot on my stomach and I proceeded to vomit all over my stomach, my friend's living room chair, and my shorts. I didn't get a drop in the pot lol. Then I passed out.
 
The next morning I got up like 4 hours later (3 hours before his parents came home)  covered in cold puke, realizing the mistake I had made considering his dad was a very high ranking member of the local police department lol.
 
I grabbed some towels and tried to clean it up as good as I could, sprayed a ton of febreeze on the chair and in the room, sprayed cologne on the chair, and threw the towels in the washer. Then I left to get home and change/shower.
 
His parents came home later that day and I found out that I was still so drunk in the morning that I didn't realize they had clean clothes in the washing machine. So I threw the towels covered in puke (which included plenty of chunks) in the washer and ran it. The clothes still smelled like puke and the chunks were still all over the clothes lol. They ended up getting a new living room chair too.
 
PS. Happy Birthday.

 

Now that's a story lol

 

Im pretty fucking smashed right now.

Fireball and IPAs. And weed. Lots of weed.

 

Ooooo that fireball........

 

Chasin' that dragon eh?

 

Here's one more. I only have a couple of stories of when I was really fucked up like that.
 
It was New Year's Eve like 3 or 4 years ago when I was 18 or 19, and I went over to a party at an acquaintances house. I was going to go see my old friends that I was really close with from like 3rd grade until 10th grade, and this girl was friends with them that I had gone to school with my whole life but didn't know well at all.
 
I brought about a gram and a half and a bottle of Jager for myself. I got there and drank the Jager by myself in about an hour. During that time I smoked my two joints with two other people. Then I went inside and had two shots of Captain Morgan. Soon after that an old friend wanted to play beer pong which I was never great at, just ok. But for whatever reason, I was in the zone. We won 7 games in a row before  I called it quits because I knew I needed to stop drinking.
 
So I went outside and smoked a few cigarettes (smoked almost a whole pack that night). Then someone broke out a bong and I had a hit. Went inside to watch tv. While sitting on the couch, I vomited all over my stomach and jacket (managing not to get any on the furniture this time lol). Someone brought me a towel and I puked again. Then they got me outside to sit in a chair in case I puked again. I remember sitting outside in the cold talking to an old friend while smoking cigarettes, and puking more on the ground. After I felt safe to go inside, I went to the bathroom and ate some tootpaste to get the taste out of my mouth and passed out in the living room.
 
I woke up the next morning covered in cold puke and shivering. Haven't talked to that girl since that night but felt bad being such an obnoxious drunk and fucking up her party especially because I barely knew her.

 

Guys I'm fucked up I found some trim I forgot about and I been drinking since midnight so here's my story: this nigga right here be wasted chillin wit his homie and listening to tech9 it's almost six in the am where I'm at and god damn it ima kill this bottle!

 

Right on enjoy it. Fireball definitely got the job done last night. Woohoo.

 

Oh man here comes part two of my story: I stopped drinking at 7:30 this morning cst and boy howdy I been feelin it since. Just a little vomit and a small headache lol