The Guys Rules

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Superjoint, Apr 9, 2002.

  1. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
    1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
    1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
    1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Check your oil! Please.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
     
  2. LOL critter I think that has us guys down to a tee!
     
  3. Another "club" that I feel that I belong in!!(Life member lol)
    I am the "Captain of my ship" and am going to post this list in our home as rules to live by!!!
    Then when my blackened eye's heal enough, I'll let ya'll know what the "Admiral's" opinion was!!!!! :smoking:
     
  4. Funny- especialy rule #1!!!
     
  5. Im assuming this will be a sticky post and will just stay at the top of the forum for all to see. Right? Come on. =)

    Z
     

  6. lfmao
     
  7. Just an alteration to the toilet seat one.

    It should have on the end.
    "If you want it down all the time don't complain when we pee on it!!!"

    That's just me isn't it... I did that once just once on perpose to teach them a lesson about nagging me about the toilet seat ha ha... I'm an evil bastard
     
  8. damn, you are an evil bastard!
    hehe
     
  9. I SAT ON A PEE TOILET SEAT BEFORE!!!!
    uh only once. i always turn the lights on now.

    peace
     
  10. i like it man
     
  11. Those are funny!

    Uh...I probably shouldn't suggest this to anyone but I've done it to guys and girls and I think it's funny. If someone hassles you about the toilet seat, or if you're tired of hassling someone or if you're just plain mean...wrap cling wrap over the bowl, and put the seat down before you go to bed...when they wake up, are half asleep and have to pee, it will make for a funny morning...for someone! :) Unless they have to do the other...EWWW, I never thought of that!!! ::::EVIL GRIN::::
     



  12. You are truely evil!!!!!
     
  13. lol this was another one brought up from critter last night after years of it in hiding!!! LOL

    but nevertheless, funny stuff!!! :) i love batting with my girlie friends lol ;)
     
  14. "If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that."

    heheheh indeed
     
  15. haha great thread, and please talk durring the commericials!!!
     
  16. Old thread, but still totally relavent.
     

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