I've been aware of my alcohol addiction for several months now, and have largely been ok with it. I was able to go to school, communicate with people, and go about my daily business without being negatively affected too much. Now I things are way different. Before when I drank I was pretty damn close to my sober personality, but now I can definitely see a change when I drink. I'm a pretty passive person. I hate conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it, but lately I find myself getting very belligerant/violent when I drink. I absorb less from my classes, I blow off homework, I take menial arguments way too far, etc. As of now I've been drunk for three days. It's not too extreme for me except for the fact that I've almost doubled my hard liquor intake from when I realized I had a drinking problem. Right now my poison of choice is vodka, and I put down around 2.0L per day. Right now (10:30am here) I have a glass of vodka at my side and I have class in half an hour. What really makes me nervous is that I can drink around that amount in a day even if I don't eat anything. I've tried numerous times to get off the bottle, but the addiction is way stronger than I ever anticipated. So... I've decided, on my own accord with very few outside influences, to start going to AA meetings. I was quite immasculated when I came to that decision (the whole "a real man could go cold turkey" mentality), but it really needs to be done. Sorry for the odd somewhat "self serving" and "self detracting" rant, but I needed to get this off my chest, and a lot of people in my real life don't know of my habits and I don't want them to know. Anyway... wish me luck GC.
good to see that you are at least attempting to do something about it. its a tough road, but ultimately if you want to be sober again you absolutely can be. i know lots of previous alcoholics who eventually had enough one day. most of them dont touch the stuff anymore, not even one sip. its not worth it, and you'll always crave it still.
Man i feel ya. I hate that feeling of being dependent on something, and can't really go without/aren't normal without. Good luck you making a very good choice by going to AA meeting hopefully they work.
The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem and going to do something about it. Good luck. I personally dont really enjoy alcohol but I am an opiate addict in recovery so I know where you are coming from. Shit is hard but if you put your mind to it you can overcome it. Also check with your doc before quitting because alcohol w/d CAN kill you.
I've gone/am going through this same path. I've only been a daily drinker for about 2 1/2 years, but when it's drinking in these quantities it starts to hurt fast. For me, personality changes and outbursts of anger (normally over shit blown out of proportion) started when I wasn't drinking (as much, I would always have alcohol in my system). It can get worse quick. What's even more important is how your heath goes down. Everyone's different but alcohol always does the same things. It destroys you heart, liver, lungs, kidneys, and brain, not to mention anything it comes into contact with. One of the worst is it's effect on the GI tract, specifically the stomach. You stop eating which robs your bodies ability to repair itself, again specifically the mucous of your stomach lining. Furthermore alcohol is an irritant which basically rips this stuff up. I've had some bad instances of throwing up massive amounts of blood from the not eating, heavy drinking combo. I was/am a big vodka man myself. Do you experience withdrawal symptoms, and how intense? These are just as worrisome as the more direct symptoms. The w/d's and DT's from alcohol are absolute hell. I know it's so much easier said then done, but try and at least cut back. Shit's poison man. Edit: I found AA meetings most helpful if you don't prioritize the laid out steps and focus more on the stories and knowledge of others. The religious aspect can be a turn off to many.
Good luck man, meetings really do help. The extra support of other people (through NA) helped me immensely to overcome my own addiction (coke).
best of luck. you seem like you have the drive to quit so i bet you will really benefit from AA meetings.
Thanks for the support guys. I just got back from my first ever AA meeting. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It was scary how much those guys' stories sounded like me. I didn't say anything, or tell my story because even thinking about it was hard enough. I really don't think I would have physically been able to finish the story. I plan on going back next Friday, and hopefully I'll work up the courage to say some stuff.
Good shit Gumbo. I remember when I went to my first NA meeting I broke down. Shit was soo hard to get up and say im an addict and tell my story. But everyone in there is real supportive because they have all been down the same road one way or another. It will get easier after the first few meetings tho dont worry.