The Fluffernutter Incident lol

lol i got another good story. this one takes place about about 13 years ago when i was 18 years old.

i remember it was superbowl sunday that night me, my boy tommy, and his girl were planning to get a dimebag smoke it up and basically chill and watch the superbowl. well tom shows up with his girl she was driving and he informs me were going to be heading to lynn to pickup a dime from some guy who i guess was a friend of his girlfriends. so off to lynn we head and eventually we pull into the parking lot of a high rise condominium complex near downtown lynn. we all enter the main lobby of the condo get on an elevator started heading up until we reached whatever floors tom's girl's friend lived on and then we got off on that floor and she walked up to a door and knocked. some dude answered the door who kind of reminded me of john travota's dealer in pulp fiction and invited us all inside. once inside kim tom's girl introduces us all which is right around the time i notice two scantily clad smoking hot college looking chics doing bong hits in this dudes living room. kim's friend notices me checking out the chics and introduces them to us at which point they ask would we like a bong hit. shit you don't have to twist my arm! in two shakes of a lambs tail i'm in the living room taking rips off their water bong which was smooth as shit do to the water chamber being filled with peppermint schnapps rather than water.

so anyways we hung out for a few minutes but by then we could tell tom's girl wasn't too keen on the fact were were both hanging out with her friend's friends so we started to get ready to leave.

we then find out that this guy we were buying the dime from is actually the son of the guy that owns the whole condominium. and i guess he is like the building manager or whatever so me and tom always thinking ahead start asking about possibly getting a deal on an apartment and he was pretty cool about it and said to come back and see him when we were looking for one so we were like werd and headed back off to the house where i was staying at.

so off we went heading down the lynnway back towards revere. tom's girls was driving and we were all shooting the shit and i guess she wasn't paying attention because once we were almost to the general edwards bridge in lynn which is the border line between lynn and revere tom's girl blows right through a red light and i myself didn't even notice it till were were almost through it at which point i spun immediately towards the direction of the building 19 across the street looking for any sign of a police car because that particuliar spot is notorious as a speed trap and as soon as looked in that direction i saw a state police cruiser racing out of the parking lot in our direction. so i immediately said "fuck you just blew through a red light kim and there's statie coming after us hide the weed". she proceeds to pass it to tom who being so frazzled by the whole experience just cups it in his hand and then she pulls over.

we're right on the general edwards bridge now and out of the car get's this big black statie and he walks up and asks kim for her license and registration and then asks her if she knows why she was being pulled over and she says yes officer and and proceeds to throw on the charm telling him as coyly as she could that she totally missed the light because we were in a hurry to get back for the start of the superbowl and she was very sorry.

as amazing as this sounds it worked! he told us to slow down and be careful and gave us a warning.

we're all pumped now of course because that could have went a hell of a lot worse so back we head towards the house i was staying at. we get there i throw on the superbowl we roll up about 3 or 4 joints and we all start watching the superbowl and blazing.

now tom as much a i love him he's my boy and all becomes one goofy mofo after blazing or drinking do to his boney frame lol. inparticuliar when tom gets really fucked up he'll just start laughing uncontrolably which causes everyone else to start laughing uncontrolably.

tom's a cool dude and a awesome friend lol

but anyways this particuliar night after blazing tom was starting to act pretty goofy lol and all of a sudden he runs into the kitchen of the house i'm staying in and starts yelling "is it here? "please tell me it's not here" all the while laughing uncontrolably.

now you guys don't know what he's talking about but i at the time knew exactly what he was talking about. he was talking about this legendary jar of marshmellow flutternutter that was in one one of the cabinets in the kitchen. the fluffernutter was legendary because it had remained in this kitchen cabinet half used and untouched for over 2 years lol and every single time tom was over and got stoned he would run into the kitchen laughing hysterically asking if it was still here and begging us to throw it away.

well apparently this day tom had had it because he runs into the kitchen once again laughing hysterically asking if it's still here and then he starts saying he's going to cake care of this fluff once and for all lol

we sensing the imminent danger in the air start running into the kitchen to see what tom was going to do but before we could get there we seem him in one fluid motion heave the jar of marshmellow fluffernutter out the back screen door across the yard and right through the back window of the catcholic priest who lived besides us's renault LOL

i almost pissed myself lol and tom was literally on the floor laughing his ass off and so was everyone else that was there now.

but then were were like "fuck!" it's right about then i start hearing yelling outside and walk to the back door and see the priest's 90 something year old mother who's on oxygen yelling out her window about the car and broken back window. so i go outside and try to calm her down but she wasn't having it she was going nuts over there so i panicked and ran back in thouse and told everyone what was going on. by now now the actual priest is out there and so are a bunch of neighbors and we're all peering outside through the windows still laughing our asses off. then like a big play occurs during the superbowl and we all run in and start watching the game again with a single person here and there still watching what's going on outside giving us updates.

now i'm with tom in the kitchen laughing uncontrolably asking him wtf was he doing and he's just rofling continouslly repeating "the fluff the fluff the fluff" and losing his breath from laughing so hard and trying to say another word lol

it's about that time i say hey has anyone locked the doors in case the cops come and everyone's like huh and i'm like aw shit and start heading towards the front door only to look out and see a revere cruiser pulling around the corner at about 50 mph lol so i instantly lock the door and hit the ground and starting peering out the window through the curtain. i see the cops get out of the car they start talking to the priest and everyone else out there for a few seconds then they start heading towards the front door.

i'm all like "stfu the cops are comin to the front door stay away from the windows". then everybody started scattering like some bitches and the cops start pounding on the door "REVERE POLICE OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR OR IT'S COMING DOWN!

tom being as fucked up as he his starts laughing after hearing this and i'm almost strangling him trying to get him to stfu but then i start laughing too lol

tom's girl however was balling her eyes hidden under a bed.

another friend of our friends who was there turk was perched up on the bar that you hang your clothes from in the closet like he was a fucking parrot or something lol and tom seeing this points at him and starts laughing his ass off again causing both me and turk to start laughing as well lol

right about then the thought enters my head the back door! was the back door locked?
i yell out "is the fucking back door locked" and i hear "uh i think so" and i'm like shit and start crawling towards the kitchen till i reached the back door and as silently as i could i locked it. two seconds later someone tries to open the door and then the pouding starts again but this time with flashlights "REVERE POLICE OPEN THE DOOR!"

now we're all hiding all around the house trying to stay away from the windows because this house was a one story house and the cops were standing on the bulkhead outside shining the flashlights in the windows trying to spot us.

i myself just picked up a mattress and box spring from one of the beds in the house and layed down on the floor and put it on top of me in a pathetic attempt to appear to be a bed lol. the funny part was the bed would shake like a bowl of jello everytime tommy would make me laugh due to me being a porky bastard lol

they stayed out there running threats by us for what seemed like a half hour then the marked patrol units left but when they did i noticed there appeared to be an unmarked unit parked outside over by the park waiting for us to think the coast was clear and come outside. so i told everyone what was going on and we all decided that everyone should wait for the the unmarked car to leave before anyone exited the house. well shit those mofos stayed out there for like another hour and i guess tom's girl had a curfew or something and was freaking out saying let's go out there they won't do anything their probably not even cops. luckily everyone waited till they did leave because we found out later they were cops and we were told if we did come outside we would have all been arrested.

so in the end we all got a good laugh out of it and so do me and tom everytime the story is brought up lol.

amazingly nothing ever ended up happening either because "jamie" the kid who's house it was had an uncle who was a state trooper who i guess got the whole thing with the local cops squashed.

we did all have to pay for a new back window for the priests renault though

all in all that was some good times and is definitly something i'll never forget as long as i live.

"the jar is gone but it's spirit lives on!" LOL

anyways i thought you all might enjoy that story

geo out

 

i don't remember the exact amount of joints we rolled it has been 13 years but on average yes we would get 3 joints out of a dime sometimes 4 depending on if you were purchasing it from a good friend who was hooking you up.