The Fear; my story of tripping balls.

A few years ago (maybe 5 or 6 years), I was giving a couple of my friends a ride. They had just eaten LSD and were feeling its effects hard- I could tell. One of them began to recede into the darkness. Terror swept across his face, and my other friend told him not to succumb to 'the fear'.

Anyways, I just started smoking pot back then and probably wouldn't even think of popping a vicodin much less drop acid.

Fast forward to a few days ago. I'm now in college and have tripped out at least a dozen times on LSD, and perhaps the same quantity on psylocybin mushrooms. But this time was different.

The mushrooms took effect quickly. I had split 7 grams between my best friend and my girlfriend. I had tripped out in that place (his dorm/apartment) a couple times before. In fact, the first time I ate LSD was in the apartment adjacent from my friends. Another one of my friends was also present, but (for whatever reason) she doesn't eat mushrooms or LSD. Her loss. Or is it?

I scoffed mine down quickly, but my girlfriend had trouble. Typically she brews her mushrooms into tea, since she can't stand the taste. Me, I just pop them and chew away. I sort of like the taste. I have heard stories that citric acid enhances the trip. Being the amateur chemist that I am (actually I bombed Chem101 HARD. But that doesn't change the fact that I enjoy it and am intelligent in the field), I knew that any acid would probably break down the psylocybin faster. The gastric acid in my stomach makes me want to dispell this 'myth', but I drank a Sobe Green Tea with my mushrooms regardless.

Twenty minutes later, I began to feel the effects. I noticed them first. Then my best friend. And finally, my girlfriend. Only she wasn't prepared for what the mushrooms had in store for her. I could tell she was having a hard time just getting them down. It must have taken a lot of self-control just to handle the gag reflex that I'm sure she experienced.

I always feel a bit sick when I do mushrooms. I had eaten a mild meal three hours before I consumed my psylocybin mushrooms, and all I really had in my stomach was the Sobe. Since I am an experienced psychonaut, I always have a few liters of cold water at the ready. This time I brought my camelbak. I will never forget the trip before this one, when I could actually feel the water pour down my throat and into my belly and hydrate each and every cell on the way down. My girlfriend was sick to her stomach, and the trip had only just begun.

I knew something was bad when she said "I'm going to throw up", and exited the room. I think my buddy exclaimed "Uh-Oh!", or some similar comment. I went out in the hallway and got out of my baby's way. I know that when I'm throwing up, I don't even want to be spoken to. I just need to be left alone for a few minutes while I expel the undigested contents of my stomach. I can remember her laying on the tile floor while I tried to comfort her. Soon enough we went back to my buddy's bedroom, but the horror was not over yet.

My girlfriend got into my sleeping bag and just layed down on my best friend's roomates bed (he was out for the weekend). Meanwhile, the girl that was with us and wasn't tripping out was talking about how bad her insides hurt. I can't quite remember what she was talking about, but she was muttering crap about her ex boyfriend and about goo and slime and other foul things.

I could see my girlfriend cringe every time that other girl spoke of slime and goo, so I tried as politely as I could to ask for her to change the subject. She got a little hostile, so I just had to let it be. We decided to turn on the TV. The images that we would see would shock and amaze us. Actually, it was all shock, no amaze. The Squidbillys. Who would conceive such a show? Adult Swim has some cool shows; metalocalypse, Tim and Eric's Awesome Show (Good Job!), I could even probably handle superjail or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. But the squidbillys is not designed for tripping on hallicunogenic psychoactives.

We all watched the show and for some reason, nobody came up with the idea to turn the garbage off. It was what my friend was talking about: slime and goo. Except it was slime and goo on the television. It was not friendly. We were not in a good enviornment for tripping out. At one point, there was a horrid, screeching noise eminating from the 20 year old television's blown out speakers. It was disgusting. I was horrified. We were all horrified. My friend finally built up the courage to jump out of his bed and shut that shit off. It was terrible. That noise. I can still hear it. I can still feel what it did to me.

My mind was melting at this point, and my girlfriend still felt nautious. It was her time of the month, and she was having some bad cramps. This all translated to nausea, and it was a less then favorable time for her body to experience this. I was lying down with her, telling her how much I love her;trying to console her and get her out of that state of mind.

Our minds and bodies melted together. I felt her pain. I felt the anxiety. And it was at this point that I experienced what my friend had told me about years ago on that car ride; The Fear. It was horrifying. She was having a bad trip. She kept saying how horrible it was. Her mind was locked with the fear. I could feel it eminating from her.

My mind is solid. I could think clearly. I knew I was probably the only hope she had to make it go away. I kept telling her how much I loved her. I massaged her shoulders. LAter she told me that when I did that, she couldn't tell the difference between my hands and her body and the blanket. We were one.

Eventually I told her to get up. She had to stop lying down. She had to get up. I knew if she got up and focused, she could overcome the fear. I was terrified myself, but ther is something inside me that.... I don't know. It's very hard to explain. In my current state of mind I was confused. The dots on the vinyl floor were vibrating. I closed my eyes.

I'm not religous or spiritual at all. I believe that spirituality is a concept created by man. It can be powerful and happy and all that, but I simply do not have the capacity for faith in the supernatural. When I closed my eyes I saw an image of Prince Siddhartha. Buddha. It was the clearest closed eye visual I had ever had. I think nothing of it. It was simply a chemical reaction in my brain. But that's what I saw.

I knew I had to do something. I talked her out of it. Eventually we put the television back on. Tim and Eric's Awesome show was on. We talked about watching this. It was pretty sweet. The craziest thing happened. I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, and my best friend was laying with our other friend. We were quiet, watching the program, when it ended. The credits rolled. We were all silent and couldn't see each other since there was a desk in between the beds. After the credits rolled by, a voice on the TV said "Pretend you're asleep so they can make out". It was the craziest thing! Neither of us were making out, but there was a silence for about 10 seconds before I yelled "What the fuck?!" Wel all had a laugh.

The trip turned for the good after we put the TV back on. The commercials were disgusting and boring. Some similar things happened while we were watching Mission Hill. At one time, a character faced the television (he was really facing us!), and said "What are you? High?...."

Similar occurances happened while we watched television for a few hours. It was like the programming was designed for people tripping on acid. I can't really remember exactly what happened, but it was like the characters on the shows were putting us in a better mood. They kept facing us and speaking encouraging words.

Finally my best friend and I went outside for a cigarette and we spoke of it all. I consider myself an experienced psychonaut, but this was the first time that I had ever felt so afraid. I'm glad that I found some fire inside me that helped me bring my girlfriend out of it. At one point I was 'throwing' happy at my friends. I would say "Here, have some happy!", and throw an invisible ball of happiness at them. IT worked, and the rest of the trip was great.

My mind is no longer fried from being torn to pieces, but I can feel that I am a better person. I have an even better understanding for the chemical Psylocybin, and a much closer bond with my best friend. And my girlfriend, we love each other even more.

I hope you enjoied our story.

-Alpha

 

She just doesn't understand hallucinogenic psychedelics. Maybe sometime I'll get her to trip with me. She was on painkillers and was kinda freaking me out.

 

We all chipped in and bought 7 grams for $65. We split the 7 grams into 3 parts, so it came out to like 2.33 grams each.

Some of the shows on adult swim HAVE to be made for people tripping. Even when we were watching King of the Hill, they kept talking about this 'tunnel'. Hank kept trying to get everyone out of the tunnel, but he had to do it politely. Finally, when a truck threatened to cave in the tunnel, he stuck his head into the tunnel and said "LISTEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE TUNNEL OR SOMETHING REALLY TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN!"

I could only equate 'the tunnel' to 'the fear'.

I'm really proud of myself (pardon my boasting) for keeping my head positive during the bad part of my trip. Its really been a boost to my personality. For weeks I've been telling myself to clean my room, but I took the last two days to clean and organize every single item in my bedroom. And I've been keeping it clean. Even beyond that, I find that I'm keeping myself more positive and taking initiative in my life to do what needs to be done.

I've been on a 3-month break from school because I failed out of a class... I go to a military academy and that trip marked the end of the days where I can smoke week (read: drug test). Its funny, when I got out of school for winter break the first time I smoked weed was on an acid trip.

I really can't wait to trip out with the same people again (maybe my other friend will have to go away this time and not bother us with her 'goo' and 'slime').

Though I need to give it at least a week or two before I will feel ready. I've seen too many people get too fucked up on psylocybin and lsd to want to trip out too often.

 

Absolutely! Actually, the place I spoke of before (the dorm/apartments) has an awesome forest behind it. I know that place like the back of my hand because I've hiked in it almost every time I trip out! I wanted to go out, but I'm from Boston and it was very cold outside. I would've totally been down to go for a walk, but my girlfriend wasn't prepared and begged me not to walk out into the woods. The Alpha abides...

 

Actually, my girlfriend gave ME shrooms, and she was the one that wanted to trip in my friend's dorm room. She begged me to not go out into the woods.

It doesn't suck for her. Did you read the whole story? We melted together.