The Ex and I [Advice/opinion]

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SeriousToke, Oct 21, 2014.

  1. #1 SeriousToke, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    So to sum it up, gf broke up with me end of July. It was sort of long-distance, not really. But anyways this stuff doesn't really tie into my situation atm. 
    Broke up, agreed to stay friends. This was also the first GF I actually said I love you to, and she said back to me as well. She broke up b/c of insecurity reasons, she felt she needed time alone to see how she could be off on her own (find love for herself before finding love for me), and she also feared I'd end the relationship down the road or was missing out on university 'things'. Although she was really insecure, I still loved and cared for her. Still do. 
    So..3 weeks after breaking up, she deleted me of Facebook. Her birthday was coming up and I wanted to say happy birthday but after that, I figured why would I. She clearly wanted to forget me/move on.
    Then last week she messaged me out of the blue apologizing that she hurt me, and let me know she wouldn't forget me even if I didn't reply. I did just to explain things. She said she thought I blocked her cause she couldn't send any messages but to me, it was BS IMO but who knows except her. Thats why she deleted me. So now we been talking, and I haven't initiated the conversation once. Every day pretty much, we talk .... she likes to dance and so do I and she likes to get my opinion on stuff and what not.
    IDK if she just wants to stay friends or eventually get back together. its sorta confusing, and I'd love to ask her but it feels as if I don't know her anymore, its a weird feeling. Am I reading into something way too much? I told her if she ever wanted to get back together, I'd be willing to try again as long as she promises to not do what she did before (a ton of more shit...). I care for her, but I'm done trying to convince her to stay or be with me. If she wants me, she'll show me right? And IDK if every day talking to me or every other day (give or take) is a sign. Bleh.
    Any advice?
    She's honestly a really special girl. I may have made her out to sound bad (probably) but she's actually a sweetheart.  

  2. You are young. Find a woman that knows you are god. She will never do you wrong. You can treat her like crap, and she will still love you. Good luck!
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  3. Sounds like she's young, insecure, and unsure. If you really are into this girl, give it another shot. Sometimes that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and maybe she's realized what she's lost. If the nonsense continues, walk away for good. Getting continually played is just pathetic.
    Unless you're planning on screwing around on her while you're at school, or something. Then just put a nail in it.
     Cmon, I don't want a relationship like that. Lol.
    Yeah I mean, she knows my past. I know hers. I don't like opening up to others and the fact I did to her is a big deal for me. But I won't let myself just be a crutch for her. Thing is, she said she needs time and all this other shit... but in my mind I'm just not buying it I guess. Nah I'm not a cheater, I will fucking beat the shit out of the guy if I ever caught my girl cheating.
    Meh its so odd, honestly. She doesn't bring us up, she just starts casual conversation and stuff. I'm guessing she wants to be friends or something .. but its just so weird talking to an ex-Gf. all my other ex's, I just cut contact with lol. 
  5. We need pictures of her to see if she is worth it.
  6. Then you have no right to complain about the way things are today. Deal with it.
  7. Get off the dance flooor and into serious talk about your 'gut' issues
  8. Meet with her, talk to her face to face seriously. If it's face to face, she wont be a dick, and can't just not reply or run away, you both have to actually confront your feelings. If you really want something with her, let her know, because she probably doesn't know how much you actually like her, because like you said, you haven't initiated any conversations. So, get together, talk, and either agree to stay friends, cut it off completely, or get back together.
  9. sounds like an ex of mine. she wanted to take "breaks" just so she could fuck dudes form the internet. not saying your ex is like that, but it seems odd that she deletes you and makes excuses for it. sounds like she has some new fellas checking her out and didnt want you to know. that way if she doesnt like them she still has you for back up. you did say you go to different schools right?
  10. Yeah talking face to face will really help you both determine what you want.

    🎶High above at the edge of the world, we are searching for glory and peace, when the time has come you will see our return to the Land of the Free!🎶
  11. Soo many truths right here..

    Wraaaap the night around me, blanket of black on my back, I feel safe in the darkness...
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  12. Sounds like she is indeed insecure but also sounds like she is just stringing you along till you become a loose thread
    Shes probly wanting to let go..

    I say dont hurt urself anymore then needed, life goes on bro
  13. #13 Messiah Decoy, Oct 24, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2014
    My theory is she "needs space" because she no longer has strong feelings for you and wants to let you down gently.

    She deleted you from her FB because she wanted her new life as a single girl to remain hidden from you.

    Get ready for a long and depressing post-relationship phase. Use that time to look inward and discover who you are and who you want to be.

    and count your blessings. You don't want to be stuck in a relationship until you have played the field and had some fun.

    You want the a woman who reciprocate your feelings honestly. Just make sure you have plenty of fun before you find her or you'll look back feeling like you missed out.
  14. Oh what a unique situation, this literally never happens!  :rolleyes:
    My advice is to tell her to fuck off for good.  You'll save yourself a ton of bullshit.
  15. Yeah just move on.

    You do not want to spend time with a woman who doesn't know what she wants.
  16. #16 SeriousToke, Oct 25, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2014
    Can't meet face to face, I'm in school right now and she lives in another town anyways. Its not that far but it would be odd just to drive down there for that, especially if she doesn't even want to talk or meet up cause its 'weird'. I have let her know man...3 days after we broke up, I wrote a 1000+ word essay ranting/letting my emotions out. I sent it to her, I was drunk. Then we spent that night from like 11pm-5am talking it out. 
    And the consensus that we left off on was that ... shes gonna do her thing and then when shes ready for a relationship, she'll tell me,if I'll take her back, then great. And if i moved on, she'll be sad but accept it. I told her I loved her. And she said the best way she would describe how much she loved me would be by her taking a bullet for me.
    P.s I have started a convo, I sent her a dance video. she said "it was cool of me to think about her and send that". 
    Then in another convo around 12 mid night, she tells me her neck is sore, so I suggest to her a massage and shes like "i would but no one to massage me LOL". Maybe i read into shit too much. idk
    TBH thats what I kind of thought. Still do sorta. I find it real SHADY that she deletes me off FB, adds me back about 2+ months later saying "Oh sorry i thought you blocked me cause I couldn't send you messages, so I deleted you". Yeah we went to different schools, we grew up in different towns. The way we met was through FB, odd little story but it was cool. 
    And now..I just feel played. I'd love to move on truly, but having her on my mind every day is really lame.
    Yeah man, thats kind of the vibe I'm gettin too. I want to move on trust me. But its hard when this is the only girl in your life that has made you feel so strongly in love. Its like having the girl of your dreams and letting her slip away. It sucks.
    Thing is, I saw her 2 weeks before we broke up and we were hanging out, having sex (spent the weekend with her) forward 2 weeks later and were breaking up. That part you said about FB and wanting to keep other guys a secret or some shit, thats what my sister suggested too. 
    She was reciprocating the feelings, then BAM. Its all over. Thats why its so fucking weird to me.
    And now, she has me back on FB but its so odd talking to her. Its like...I never even knew her but I did. Its just so hard to interpret women. Ugh.
  17. She'll do what she did before. They always do. When someone shows you who they are- believe them. Believe them the first time or you'll be kicking your own ass the next time

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  18. You don't want to start a long distance relationship long distance. Long distance relationships can survive if they were built up and have been together short distance, but you cant start one long distance, it'll just end badly.
    Can you clarify? :S
    Yeah I heard about long distance not working out most cases...but the chemistry I had with this girl was insane. It was too tempting not to try and the girl didn't want to just hook up, she wanted to be exclusive. I know this cause the first time she came to visit me one weekend, I tried to have sex with her and she brought it up. 
    I don't regret anything. I mean, I figure I'd be able to move on if I came to understand her but she made little to no sense when she tried to explain it. Just all this "she needs time for herself" BS. 
  20. Sounds like you just need to lay your cards on the table for her, or wait until you're geographically closer :/
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