lol I have so so many ha ha one of my favorites was when we were driving around trying to get me back to my house and i was smoking a fat ass "novelty joints" we call them and I fully freaked me:f-ing stop!!! driver: *stops*... *5 minutes of pure silence* me:WHEN THE FUCK IS THE LIGHT GOING TO TURN GREEN?! *guys look out the window* driver:....dude...thats a stop sign hahah
lol just the other day as well i went up with my bestfriend to meet up with the guys to have a quick shesh before i had to go back to school for sport lol my eyes get fucked really badly so we got back to school and no one had any clear eyes. amy:why are your eyes so red? me:...i think im alergic to something amy:..what? me: ..what? well you know what i dont really know.. it could be the weed cause like everytime i smoke it my eyes go red. [[like 2 minutes later i realised what i said hahah]]
this happened to me last friday night, well me and my two friends (x&Y)were smoking out of my friends new bowl when one of x's friends calls to smoke a blunt, so were all down and then, Y started talking on the phone with the blunt kid and the conversation goe like this. Y: hey i live in ____ come threw the gate and we can smoke in my house X: ok ill be there with my brother in like 5 mins Y:hey were gonna go to the movies after u down? Y WAIT !!!! hold on i gotta go some kid just lit my eyebrow on fire( in a totaly calm voice) X: ok no prob, sorry you had to be there it was fucking halarious.
this isnt really a one liner but, when me and my freind were high this car was going down the street and the wheel fell off.. we could not stop laughing.
nlot really a one liner friend goes to take a piss, 5 seconds later he runs into the room friend: duuuude, we need to go to the hospital, i think my dicks gonna fall off. me: what the fuck are you talking about? friend brings me to the bathroom, i look in the toilet. me:dude, thats toilet cleaner. friend: oh yea your right. I would have really missed my dick. i just walked out and laughed for an hour
FUNNIEST line ever from my friend, Sir Tokes Alot. "We're not going anywhere until I find my diabetic test strip!" He uses a diabetic test strip to collect the kief from his grinder. Ha ha, priceless.
I was breaking up some bud and I commented on how dry the bud was. My friend goes "So just spit in it" hope he read this...
My mainest bro ever.... the only person I even hang out with...anyways.. Well, he got a new class at school, and I was asking him what it was about..and he responded with this after way too many rips from the RooR: " Well, man...we do different things..on different days " Funniest thing I've ever heard - ever.
<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">Ok so, I was in switzerland and had just finished smoking some Dutch bud with some hostel workers. So i go back to the hostel (like a cheap hotel) and start hanging out with the other travelers, and im so damn high. I see this girl i knew and this other guy I had met talking to a couple other American chicks. After a little bit one of them was talking about some food or soemthing she had tried earlier and she said "its not that i dont like it, its that i dont like like it". I just burst out luaghing and almost fell over. She look kind of confused. </TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
not really a one liner but still funny... a friend and me go to a DQ to get ice cream... as we eat... Friend-hey man can i ask you a question Me-sure man what Friend (completley serious) do you think that the M&M guys get pissed when you eat there brothers i laughed so hard that i shot ice cream out of my nose
Lmao Reggin, that line had me laughing. One time my friend and I were baked, talking about inventions. Suddenly I blurt out "It'd be cool to have like a soda can with a built in straw". At the time I thought it was the coolest idea but late I realized how dumb it was.
so i had just smoked a about 2 grams between me and two friends and we all had the munchies real bad i had shoved as many cheese its as i could into my mouth and just sat there for about 4 minets drooling with my mouth open when i finally chewd and swallowed it i turned to my friend and say "dude it feels like my entire face is my mouth" and he says "no... it doesn't...shut up"
haha I was with this guy who I don't normally hang out with. We were both ripped and he is kind of a bad guy like he gets in trouble a lot (he almost got arrested a few times). So this was his line "IT'S NOT THAT I DO BAD THINGS, ITS JUST THAT THE THINGS THAT I DO ARE BAD" hahahaha I was cracking up for like 5 minutes.
i was at a friends house, smoking in this fort-like thing he has in his backyard with these guys matt and clay. our hitter piece broke, so me and clay went in to get some tin foil to make one. when we were about to go out the door, clay's mom says "clay, what're you doing with that tin foil?" and he just looked at her and said "im putting it on matts face" she just stared at him as i tried to hold back laughing, and we went back outside
Haha, thats exactley what I did. I told my friend I was never going to eat fast food again, then we smoked, and I ate so much Jack In The Box, I almost puked.
This happened with a friends brother and his friend. 1: hey, man, roll up the windows. 2: ...dude...we're outside.
Ahh I know I have better ones but my memory is just so fucked for some reason. And no it's not because of weed, tht causes short-term memoery loss, I just can't remeber experiences past 2 months.....it sucks. Anyway after finishing a bowl of some good dank my friend just randomly says out of no where: "Dude imagine a veloci raptor on crack" and I just imagine a raptor straight up on crack just flipping out screaming n bounching off the walls n shit. I died laughing for a good 20 minutes.
There was one time when me and my friends were doing firecrackers and one of my friends had just started smoking a couple months earlier so he had a really low tolerance. We were in Burger King, and he was eating really slowly. He usually eats a lot so he ordered like 2 burgers, large fries, and a drink. We were almost done and he kept saying how he couldn't eat, how couldn't move and thought he was dying. So kept asking him why he felt like this and finally he responds very loudly "I guess I'm really high." Then about ten people from BK started looking at us and we had to bolt. It was pretty comical to think about it afterwards.
i love reading these baked - i laughed uncontrollably at these two. +rep so while smoking earlier tonight me and two friends are chilling talkin about what we want to eat later, then... friend: who do u think would win in a fight - Mrs. Buttersworth or Aunt Jemima? me: that would be a good fight, probably a tie. friend: yea.....we would have to throw Captain Crunch in there.......fuck their shit up