On the first day of summer I tried heroin and, to say the least, fell in love. In no time at all I was addicted to heroin and I was shooting up multiple times a day to ward off withdrawal. I'm making this post because I feel really bad. A while ago I met a bloke on these forums and tonight he asked me on facebook if I could get him a half ounce. I took his $150 dollars, peaced out on him and bought heroin with it. I got 19 bags and there are only 6 left. This happened in 3 hours...
I'm sorry man. You have to know that there are ways out of this situation. It pains me that there's no way for any of us to reach out and truly get you the help you need, because opiate addiction is a disease and it's unrealistic to expect anyone to be able to break it through sheer willpower. The human psyche is just not built for that. My thoughts are with you man. Stick with herb, my friend.
shit I feel terrible for both of you. you screwed someone over for an addiction that you have clearly lost control over. I'd feel horrible stealing from someone that didn't deserve it, and I'd feel even worse if I got such a short lived satisfaction from it. that's just all around terrible. I feel bad for both of you
damn homie, atleast u can admit it. i kicked the down liek three weeks ago. i relapsed the other day... just one point... be safe homie
Its not that hard to imagine, sooner or later you will come in contact with a heroin user and it wont be so outlandish anymore
i feel for ya man. the town i just moved to, everyone i've met so far is a heroin addict. specifically my homeboy, and i feel so helpless. i want to help him, but i know he just wants money from me half the time to get high and he's always got me buying or splitting oxy's with him, the other night he was threatening to kill himself and he had an assault charge out on him and so i got him arrested because i called 911 and all i want to do is get him to detox bc he's talked about it before and i hate seeing someone live they're life this way, it's not living, to me at least. i just want to be able to help him but i don't know how, he does shit like that too like tells people that he's gonna get weed for them and then just takes they're money, he pawns things, he steals from people, probably plenty other things i don't know nor care to... i hope you get the help you need one day. i'm all for trying different drugs, but once you can't handle it and it turns into a need then you've gone too far with it, everyone i talk to tells me to get away from him, i know i'm never going to try h and i just want to be able to help... why'd you try it in the first place? i'm already liking these oc's too much and i see what h has done to all these people, makes me never want to touch it...
First of all - I've been to rehab twice in the past few months. I spent a month at an inpatient program and about 35 days ago I was released. I could quit if I wanted too but I always relapse. I have a prescription to 8mg suboxone a day and I could go to NA meetings every day if I wanted to stay clean. To tell you the truth i DO want to stay clean. I HATE what heroin has done to my life. I started doing heroin in may and before that I had been doing oxycontin every day since december 27th. The first time I tried heroin I told myself I was never gonna do it again, I didn't even get high. I guess that made me want to try more, my tolerance was above average because of my oxycontin use and I guess splitting 1 bag with a friend who didn't do heroin or oxy was a bad idea because it just made me want to try it and actually get high. Right away I was doing it every day and the saga continues. Most people do not understand heroin addicts and judge us so harshly which is why we continue to use. We live to use and used to live. We steal from everybody and anybody just to get high/not feel dopesick. I go to sleep at night and cry because I don't want to use anymore and the next day the first thing I do is figure out how to get money and use. Tonight after I stole this guys money I cried. I'm a man's man but I can't take it anymore. Today I broke into 2 cars - stole $10 from one and an iPod from the other. I found my brothers old laptop in my house today and sold it to this guy for $80 dollars. He wrote me a check but I cant cash it until monday because he doesnt have any funds in his bank account and I thought check cashers could do it but they called the bank and found out it would bounce. This morning when I broke into the cars around 10am and stole the $10 I panhandled for $3 more because my girlfriend had $7 and we bought 2 $10 bags of top quality heroin. 1 bag does not even produce a rush for me anymore and hardly even takes my sick off. So around 4pm I found the laptop and decided to sell it. Right after I got back to my house I wanted to sell the iPod that I stole so I started looking for the charger. I didn't find the charger but I found a bag of heroin that must have been 3 months old! I thought it was my lucky day. When I couldn't cash the check I was SOOO bummed. Me and my girlfriend support each others habits every day and split it all 50/50 because somedays one of us has money other days the other one has money. After getting home and not talking to each other because of anger from not cashing the check - me blaming her for it since it WAS her fault, the place we could have cashed it at (they dont check with the bank) she didnt want to go to. She was driving so we went to the place she wanted to and it wouldnt. Then we went to a different location of the one I wanted to and they called the bank and made a note in their computer so we couldnt cash it. Basically I had done $20 of heroin today and she had done $10 and after some hours we were already starting to get dopesick again. Sooo, we're not talking to each other and he messages me on facebook asking if I could get a half ounce. Like I said I robbed him and I feel so bad about it but that is my pathetic day to day life. It is so depressing. One thing I did do though is leave the stolen iPod in his car when I took the money. It was a 4th gen 20gb ipod classic so it wasnt worth much but I felt tooo bad about what I was doing. I dont know why I dont steal from stores but I steal from people. I don't have a cell phone and I'm flat broke unemployed with no money from my parents but somehow today, like every other day, I managed to obtain the following: $150 $80 $10 $5 (panhandling - only from one person, a $5 bill that covered diesel and drink) iPod. sooo... $245 and an ipod. If I was murdered somebody would be doing the world a favor. I'm so depressed. Sorry for the wall of text
You need help from professionals, you sound sincere in your willingness to change. Follow through with it. I'm sure you know this but heroin is nothing to fuck with it may not be damaging you too much now but it can really only get worse, dude Good luck, man. It's shitty you robbed that dude, really fucked. And the cars you broke into. You obviously have a bad problem if you need to beg and steal for your addiction. Not trying to make you feel bad it's just what it is
that's horrible :[ i don't want to judge you, or my homeboy or anyone but it is true, you/they/he use to live and live to use. he doesn't understand why 'i don't care' and 'i'm not helping him' when he's dopesick and needs $ for h... but i came out here to change my life, not to start supporting someone's addiction. i've got so much addiction in my family and i know if i keep doing these ocs i'll end up trying it, but i can't let my life turn into something like that. i just wish i knew what i could do. it's a sad cycle. if you want to stay clean and not live like this anymore then why don't you just go get your last high and go to detox or do something about it? i'm just trying to understand/i really enjoy the insight from your point of view ... i've just never been around this before idk everyone i talk to tells me to 'walk away' from him and the other users i'm around, but i can't... you know, i enjoy them all as people, it's not like they're not like regular people, they just have a habit to support... idk i feel at a loss
You get the picture man... Addicts are regular people when they have their dope and aren't sick. Once your addicted you don't use to get high, you use to get normal. You definitely need to never do OC again man. The high is almost exactly like the heroin high, just more upbeat and you don't nod out as much. When I was in rehab I was not the only person who got into heroin through OC. OC is easy to control but once you try heroin, at least once you IV it, you are never the same. Shooting up is better than sex, it is the best feeling in the world. Too many people get into prescription opiates and then get into heroin. You should not EVER give your friend money when he is dopesick unless you think he's going to steal from him. Watch out when hes at your house and he goes to the bathroom he may be raiding your room or your parents room for things/jewelry to pawn. And if I wanted to quit I wouldn't need to go into another detox/rehab cause that'd be a waste of money. I just need to start taking my suboxone - that will detox me since it's what they use to medically detox you at an institution
yeah i've learned my lesson about lending him money. sucks, i love the high from oc even though ive only done it a handful of times... it's a struggle. if i could afford it i definitely probably would've been hooked a while ago, but i can't afford it and i'm not willing to go to the extents most people do to get money for it haha. so can i ask you something? if you want to be clean and not do this anymore why don't you go into detox or something? and what made you relapse?
i was under the impression that some detox centers actually give you stuff [i'm not sure specifically what] to help you go through the WITHDRAWALS [can you spell?] so you aren't sitting there in extreme rediculous physical pain... or so i've been told