Texas joke

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Lilith999, Feb 15, 2003.

  1. I'm no Texan anymore, but I did spend the first 12 years of my life there...anyhoo...

    A Texan was doing his Christmas shopping in downtown San Antonio. He looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump!

    "Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"

    The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock market!"

    "But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan.

    "She divorced me, took everything I had that was not in the stock market."

    "Your children, remember your children," yelled the Texan.

    "They never call," said the man.

    "Then your parents, remember your parents," yelled the Texan.

    "Dead as doornails," said the man.

    "Then remember the Alamo," yelled the Texan.

    The man shouted, "What's the Alamo?"

    The Texan replied, "Jump you Damn Yankee!"
  2. LMAO good one.
  3. heh heh HEy! im from texas! HEy! IM FROMSANTANTOONIO!
  4. ..dont mess with texas..... lol
  5. Exactly what would happen if I messed with Texas? Because I'm seriously considering it
  6. Hempress- if you fuck with Texas, they cut a horn from one of their numerous longhorns and insert it into your ass and then twist it. So don't do it--it's just not worth it.
  7. eh..that's only if they catch me ;)
  8. LOL...did you guys ever see that one SNL ((Saturday Night Live) a tv show) where they had Will Farrell playing Bush and it was the debates bewteen the two runners and after Gore spoke, Bush says, as a rebutal "don't mess with Texas". The crowd was roaring, guess you had to see it.
  9. lol, I saw it...it was funny!
  10. Once there was a girl named Texas. On the first day of school the teacher was asking for everyone's names. When Texas replied, the teacher got mad and demanded to know the truth. The girl replied, "Texas" once more and the teacher sent her to the principal.

    The first thing the principal did was ask her name. She said, "Texas". He threatened to send her home if she didn't behave and tell the truth. "But my name really is Texas!" she exclaimed. So the principal had her sent home.

    While walking home she met a boy who began to introduce himself. "So, what's your name?" he asked. "Texas" she replied. He didn't believe her and threatened to kill her with his new pocketknife if she didn't start telling the truth. She still insisted her name was Texas.

    When the boy got home, his mother asked him where his new pocketknife was. He replied, "Deep in the heart of Texas!"
  11. im from San Antonio, and that was funny

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