I know this is a taboo/touchy subject and It makes a lot of people uncomfortable but I want to hear any life stories or personal experience you have had being suicidal or being affected by It. Do you think these people go to hell for it do you think those people are weak? I personally have always dealt with depression and suicidal feelings weren't far behind. There is only one time I seriously attempted to the point where I was one step away from doing it and honestly I have had a lot of feelings lately of wanting to end it and struggle with it day to day. My uncle on my dads side committed suicide at 13 and I was named after him. The only other experience I have had with it was when the brother of one of my former best friends committed suicide, we weren't as close but I had been on vacations with them and basically grew up in that house through high school. Going to his funeral and everything was so surreal and even two years later I struggle to figure out my feelings about it. What do you guys think?
I was going to kill myself once. Spread out a tarp and everything and got into a corner. Mom ended up coming home though.
It's selfish. I was suicidal for many years. A (former) member of these forums helped to bring me out of that mindset. Either way, years ago I made the decision that I could not kill myself. No matter how much I hated myself and life. But I knew that I could not. The idea came from something outside of me but was not wholly separate from me. Now I have so much to live for I could never image doing something so useless. Make a choice. That's it. Then you persevere. It turns around as long as you MAKE THAT CHOICE.
I am not sure what you spread a tarp for though? To make the clean up easier? How did you overcome that keep going? My parents and dog are the main reason I haven't followed through.
I think it's selfish in a way for people to say its selfish for people to take there own life. I've been close and know people who have died by suicide and I like to think they got what they wanted, I mean who I am I to say they wouldn't have had a horrible life or a good life if they continued to live but I'm glad to know they are out of the pain they we're living in. I mean there comes a point when people realise medication and therapy are not going anywhere and they have to make a choice to live with it or end it. Sometimes ending it is easier than living in pain everyday of your life. Though killing your self over getting dumped or some stupid spiteful shit is selfish IMO. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app
There was a point in my life where nothing was worth living for and so you live recklessly. Not in like the violent gangster sense of things but like "I'll make these choices and not give a fuck what the consequence of them is because i am living in the now." and then coming into the 'later' part, where the 'now' has passed and realizing that you do not really wanna live like this and so you just make a choice. All this gets amplified as well when you are surrounded by people with similar mentalities... Its a scary situation when you have all these extra resources to fuck yourself over with when normally, your fucking yourself over with little to no resources, since the good people around you tend to alienate themselves from you and your choices. I mean, i struggle with this, but i struggle more with my homies that are still into this type of shit. I was done by the time i was 19 and i am still feeling the effects of it now, almost 8 years later. Here is a great example, a video i found of one of my homies. We ain't nearly as close as we used to be cause you know, as i said, the good get away from the bad as far as they can in those contexts, but homie does not even remember doing what he did or anything. Whether for amusement, shock or even horror, enjoy i guess.
Yes, I didn't want to leave a mess. I didn't overcome it, I'm essentially just going through the motions of living, and waiting for my mother to pass. It'll happen one day by my own hand, just not while mom's alive.
So what exactly did they do to bring you out of it? Like they just talked to you overtime? I am glad that life turned around for you and things got better to the point you were able to live. I don't see it being that easy to just make a decision not to do it one time and then use that to combat the feelings every time because there were times I tried being positive about life and things didn't seem to get better if not worse but I also look at things with a negative bias so I understand what you mean thanks for the input.
I recently had a Freind commit suicide. He seemed not to be the depression type. It was the day of holoween to I thought it was a prank for a few minutes til I saw my informers faces. I was incarcerated for 8 months but instantly got back in contact once released with him. Not sure what would drove him to that decision in the time span I was gone. I felt bad for not hang out and smoking him up. Catching up with him came to my mind a few time before holoween. Drug addiction may have been his problem. Some say a woman drove him to it by not being with him. Other say he was cleaning a gun. I however saw no sign of drug abuse , wemon problems, depression or anything like that. He seemed the least likely to commit suicide of my friends, honestly. The only reason. I think we have a " hell" concept is cause we experience pain. So we project the 3rd "solid" dimentional concept of pain as a punishment into the idea of an afterlife. I however see no use for pain in afterlife or non-biological conciseness. As for being weak or weak minded ...the human race is oddly influenced by mainstream bs wich has even made me wonder the benefits of suicide. Untill weed changed my view point on many mainstream beliefs of religion and "whats valuable to the average person" changed... I find it worse to put the suicide attempters in mental patient jails, unless other lives are threatened. Do other species commit suicide. Like dogs or simlinar intellectual species? Stair Closet Grow
At my lowest moments, it's something that I had considered. I hope it's behind me, as well as the worst of my bouts of depression. Thing is, I know that if I'm considering that, I'm not in my right mind, and that I've got to avoid making any big decisions for as long as I can. Look, there's help out there. These problems are incredibly isolating, and make you believe that there's no way out, but that's not the truth. I think it would be incredibly foolish not to explore them all before taking drastic measures - suicide messes with the people around you in a profound way. You can learn ways of coping with loss and with problems in your life, but you can't undo killing yourself. So please get some help so you can look back on these days as some foolish fleeting thoughts you once had, and then were able to move on with your life.
I don't even know what to say to this because I literally have said and felt the same way including now. I would never do it until my mom was gone and my dog was too I couldn't imagine raising him from a puppy to abandoning him in a shelter where he would likely be killed or given to shitty families and just the horrible things that could happen so I feel like I owe it to him to atleast tolerate life long enough to give him a good one start to finish. Keep your head up man maybe there is hope out there for us somewhere
Well I'll be honest I didn't get the video but I'm guessing you posted it to show that you someone feels suicidal they will do anything to provoke others to end their suffering which is true there was a time I was yelling at a guy to shoot me knowing he had a gun in his waist but at the time I didn't care I wanted him to shoot me so I get that part and I have never really hung around horrible people most of my friends were probably better influences than me
I think some of the suicide s are fuel by the patience we have towards death and the afterlife. Many case religion fuels suiceds up to the massive cult self sacrifices. Just vomitting some literature from practically a cereal box. In this case I see the ones who do die by self choice as braver then the ones who fail, is this wrong of me? I think it's a llitle fucked up to think this? Stair Closet Grow
I am sorry to hear that you went through that and hope your friend found some peace. That is an interesting concept I can't see us feeling pain after we die since we would not have a physical body but that leaves so many more questions than answers like many things and there has been certain things that point to dogs commiting suicide but nothing scientifically concrete that I know of
I appreciate you sharing your experience. These thoughts have plagued me for as long as I can remember so they are a little more than fleeting thoughts that pop up randomly. It's always nice to have someone who has gone through the same stuff and I have recently been dabbling in medication and therapy which will hopefully start up again soon and at some point I can look back but I don't know if that day will ever come
That is how I feel about it for the most part too like who are we to decide for someone else if they should live or not when It's almost always because WE/THEY don't wanna go through that or deal with it and how it will affect them and mess with their own lives which I can't really justify calling 100% selfish but I guess It's just depends on the individual and thanks medication and therapy are my last chance so thanks for making me feel better about it lol just messing with ya
They just talked to me. Brought things out. Here's my contention: you will not kill yourself. You will want to time and time again, but you won't. Something will keep you going. It's like a fucking drug. It's hard, that have to always, continuously be making that decision. But the truth is, you make it once.
I personally think people who suffer from depression need to take action. I mean I use to be depressed about my weight, I thought I was ugly and I hated it. I realized I needed to go to the gym and get stuff done instead of feeling sorry for myself. I do understand some people have a hard time dealing with depression. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I can say grasscity has pulled me out of the dump too. Study and then growing myself gave me a hobby and love for botany. Stair Closet Grow
In the end, my suicidal ideation left over from my teenage years gave me the green lights to live my life however I wanted to, without any fear of consequences. I've edited my school report in primary school, faked my mum's signature on some exams.. I've lived on welfare, I've kissed and had sex with girls, I've quit my previous job, I've smoked weed, grown weed, I've gone night-clubbing by myself, I've sold computers with pirated operating systems, I've blown 6 weeks worth of my rent-money to start up an IT business. Nowadays I survive working part-time doing hustling on the side - as in, online sales - while practically spending my afternoons riding a 50km/h electric bike all around town. My rent is cheap, I have no kids, so it works for me. Either way, we're all going to die.. so the responsibilities and anxieties of the modern adult world mean nothing to me. Live and let live .. just don't go on a shooting spree or something, and don't steal for a living. Keep it simple, don't have kids, and you'll be fine. I promise you - the depression will go away overnight.