Whenever I get high after a while I'll start to hate myself and contemplate suicide. I get extremely depressed and think "one day when I'm high I'm going to commit suicide". When I am not high I wouldn't consider myself depressed or even sad, in fact I don't usually feel empathetic towards people at all so I smoke to feel what other people feel like and feel normal. An example is when one of the only times I felt sad about my fathers death was when I was high, when I'm not high it does not affect me at all. I feel all these emotions and it is extremely easy to slip into a suicidal state. So I am politely asking you to help me have some ideas to get out of this state or not go into it at all. Thank you and sorry if it sounds like a cry for attention, I hope it doesn't and I don't want to come off as arrogant.
Maybe you should stop lying to yourself. Weed obviously puts you in touch with your emotions which your clearly have issues with. Go talk to someone and quit smoking and learn to feel your feelings again. Trust me I know it sucks
I would quite smoking until you address the underlying issue. I am much the same, I dont often feel emotions, but I definitely do when I am high, though I don't get suicidal so I cannot help you in that regard. Sent from my VS995 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I've thought about not smoking anymore but I alwaysget back to the thought that I'm satisfying other people when I'm emotional. My family and ex-girlfriend constantly get mad or upset at me when I'm unemotional towards them when I'm not high. So being high means I'm making them happy.
First and most important step: Stop smoking now! Second Step: Talk to a professional. I am serious. These suppressed thoughts and gambit of emotions that you are feeling could get worse whether you are smoking or not.
I remember when I got locked in a residential drug treatment place and my counselor said "you need to learn how to feel your feelings" I really had no idea what she was talking about. Every time I had any bad feelings, I just smoked and they went away. It seems that you have the opposite problem. You feel your feelings when you smoke. I agree that you need a professional to talk to and sort this stuff out. We are just stoners who are not trained in that field.
Hey OP, do a google on "cannabis psychosis + suicide". Debates ongoing whether cannabis triggers or exposes mental issues. You will find a lot of information on it in the webs. Cannabis is not for everyone, and some strains of cannabis also are bad for some people. There are opposite effects caused by CBD and THC, so if you are going to smoke, be picky about what it is you are smoking. Grow your own and try using CBD as it has anti-psychotic properties. There is some strains I can't smoke as they trigger anxiety in me. If you are going to see 'a professional', then I suggest seeing a psychologist. Best bet you got is do that google search I recommended.
Maybe you need a therapist. A real one that doesn't just try to write you prescriptions after an hour session. Also quit smoking.