i am a drug fiend and have been for about 2 years. even before i started using drugs i have noticed a depression and panic attacks. i keep having thoughts that suicide is better than my life, as I don't see myself being naturally happy again. i try to dismiss these thoughts because I know it wouldn't be fair to my close family, but i could care less about what the rest of the world thinks. my life is seemingly perfect i have a job car play sports am very smart and have great grades, i just dont understand why i am insane i just have nobody to talk to and need some advice or if anyone is going through something similar
it's state of mind, but it's a real problem. you should see a doctor/psychiatrist or psychologist, we can't really evaluate your condition
You need to get some help if you are feeling that way. Don't do what I did and put them aside and ignore them until you finally explode and try it. It's not fun. You WILL be embarassed if you survive. It's awkward and humiliating.
Im in a similar situation. My life just seems to be falling apart and I cant stop it. Only thing to do is try to tough it out an hang in there. If not for you, at least do it for your family
i seoncd this i was in the same position till i started seeing a psychiatrist. they have meds that DO work and help. i was against seeing one for such a long time till i found myself with a 9mm in my hand. i put it down and went to get help. the help i recieved worked. i just hated the thought of seeing a 'shrink' or 'crazy doctor' as i use to call them but hey they helped
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6vAd3dUT4g"]YouTube - Biggie Smalls - Suicidal Thoughts (ORIGINAL VERSION - WITH LYRICS)[/ame] that always puts things in perspective for me
I think for you to appreciate your life more you have to experience what the last moments of your life would be life, if you were going to actually die. I experience this feeling after doing Salvia, i saw the world and everyone in its entirety start to vanish and die off, including myself. Scariest feeling in the world, it would make you appreciate your life alot more if you can experience something like this, it will show you that your life is actually worth living, and the greatest possible gift you can receive is LIVING itself. Another way is maybe to watch the SAW series, think if YOU were put in that situation, not just the trap, but your life were to end if you didn't make it. You would appreciate living so much more after the moments of life or death. Im not saying put yourself in a position of Life or Death, but possibly recreate it somehow... Salvia could possibly do this, or some bad trip. Bad trips, though bad at the time, make you realize more about your life and how much you actually DO want to live. Its all in your mind. EDIT: Also, have you ever heard that once something is gone, you appreciate it a lot more than your normally would. OP, and to others, your taking your life for granted. Watch the pursuit of hapiness, OP you say you have an almost perfect life, theres no reason why you should want to end it, look at the people in that movie, they have it 100x WORSE than you do, and they keep on going. Are you saying they have a stronger willpower than you do?
yeah they do have a stronger willpower in me. i dont know whats wrong i just keep trying to make my life better by making friends doing well in school and stuff but im still somewhere between mild and severely depressed at all times
That's because your depression doesn't have anything to do with your situation in life. Yes, it can contribute, but if you're already depressed and have a good life then good luck kicking it just because you're "well off". You need help, and the best that this board can do is sympathize and suggest alternatives for you. We can't stop you from having suicidal thoughts, there are medications and other paths of treatment for that. As I said in your other thread, you need professional help. If you already have a psychologist then perhaps you need to see them more often, find a different one, or try a different route all together (maybe holistic or homeopathic approaches). We can't tell you what is going to work for you.