little background: we've been together for four years, and this last year we both moved to different schools, she lives in new york I live in maine. She grew up in the Philippines and moved here for highschool, and then college like most other rich asian kids. Her older brother also goes to college in New York and his two roommates are childhood friends of both my girlfriend and her bro. One of the roommates is a gamer, quiet and nice - we'll call him Joe. The other is loud obnoxious asshole - we'll call him Pedro. Pedro and my girlfriend often get in minor arguments. OK. here goes. So last month I trek down to Brooklyn to spend February break with her. One night we decide to go hangout at her brothers much nicer apartment in Manhattan and drink/toke with him and his roommates. At one point in the night during a random conversation I just mention something like: So do you play those pathetic online games too?" to Pedro. I chose this wording at the time in my drunken state of mind because I myself have wasted a gazillion hours of my child hood playing online games. The room gets sorta quiet and Pedros like "its not my place to call them pathetic.." and Joe in the background says something like "you can make money from them." The night goes on and I completely forget about that minor awkwardness. We soon leave and I'm in a merry mood as we are in the elevator, my girlfriend and I, heading back to her place. I said I had a good time and then she immediately brings up my video game comment and how rude it was and quotes Pedro's response. Now in my drunken mind I am totally offended about how she felt the need to tell me this the second we leave the apartment and we argue all the way home/ in a bleak silence for most of the time (good hour on the subway from her place.) We get to her place, make up, and wake up fresh. The next day she tells me that Pedro jokingly slapped her at one point and how it really upset her but she didn't wana make a big deal of it while everyone has a good time. She proceeds to tell her brother to talk to him and we dont visit them for the rest of my stay. Fast foward to today: (FYI my girlfriend often stays at her brothers because its MUCH nicer+close to her school): My girl starts an IM conversation as follows: her: "Oh okay c: well -Pedro- just packed up all his stuff and just left. And we had a huge argument." me: About what? her: "Okay, so he always tells joe and me to make friends. And after we helped him carry his shit downstairs, he was like why are you guys such losers why don't you guys make friends go make some friends. And I was like cause we don't like people. And the convo was all fine and then I was like it's not easy for me to actually have people I can call friends because it's not easy for people to understand why I am who I am and he was like yeah everyone's like that and I was like I'm not saying that everyone isn't, I'm just emphasizing that's why I don't go out of my way to make friends and he started saying you can't say that cause everyone's like that and I was like yeah but I'm a more complicated case a lot of stuff has happened in the last four years to me and I was about to explain but he answers the phone and when he's done He tries to say thy everyone is like that so I can't say I can't make friends because of that but I told him he's not understanding the fact that I'm a more complex case" --NOW, her reasoning about making friends is literally the same reasoning she told me out of the blue a few days ago after coming to that conclusion while talking to her bestfriend and brother. I am confused as to why she decides to waste the energy trying to get this point across to someone who only wants to argue with her, so i respond:-- me: wow lol fuck him babe seriously me: why bother explaining yourself to him her:I dot even know. her:For a second I thought I'm not gonna let him treat me this way. her: I even told him about how he hit me. me: yeah but hes not just gonna be like "yeah i guess youre right steph" he just likes to argue her: yeah babe I know that..... me: people like that arent worth trying to get your point across to -shit starts going downhill- her:But I mean I really.. her:Okay yeah her:That's not her: ... her: Whatever. her: Im just trying to tell you something that happened that was really stressful. I realize there could've been a better way to handle it. But I wanted to handle it in a way where I could tell him what I thought even if he was going to reject it. her:You don't have to tell me that it was wrong... me: can i ask why you care what he thinks her: I don't care. I said that I didn't care if he was going to deny it. I needed to say it. her: Because I wanted to feel better about telling someone why what he did wasn't okay. Even if he wasn't agreeing with it. her: Ive kept it bottled up and I've been meaning to bring it up and I never did. her: I don't wanna bottle it in. me: considering you guys argue all the time it doesnt seem like you keep anything bottled up her: We don't argue all the time though. He just says things that annoy me and I brush him off. We argued a couple times before he hit me and then after I just stopped talking bak an kept everything inside. her: forget it me: dont you think it bothered me that i (your boyfriend) am right next to you when he hits you and u dont even tell me, and then we get in a huge fight after because i said "pathetic video games"? yeah i know youll just say "it wouldnt be worth it, you were drinking, etc etc etc" but thats the same as me telling you its not worth it to get in pointless arguments. u need to choose people that matter and stop wasting energy on people that dont, for real. her: fuck Andre her: I didn't tell you this so I can have you lecture me. her: Shit, I know that. her: God. me: lol im telling you i feel her: no youre not. her: "You need to stop wasting energy on people etc etc" mecopy and paste the part about me being upset I was right next to her when he slapped her and she didnt tell me) her: Yeah in the middle of a get together with other people and while you're drinking me: What do u think im gonna do? punch him? I wasn't belligerent lol. me: what was the point of telling me after? So I could just be upset about it? me: Instead as soon as we leave the apartment instead of telling me about him slapping you, you tell me how rude it was how I commented about videogames and quote Pedro's response "well its not my place to call them pathetic.." ---- and that pretty much sums it up. she says bye and logs off soon after. As soon as she started telling me how she mentioned that she brought up the hitting incident during their argument about friendship, i started thinking of the chain of events. and I started to get frustrated about how she'd bring up said incident weeks later in an irrelevant argument to Pedro but immediately after the "get together" be more focused on telling me how rude i was and quote Pedro's stupid response instead of straight up telling me what she "supposedly" was more upset about, the fact that he hit her. i think thats all. Im going kind of crazy here and i dont know if i flipped out or if this chick is just a self obsessed bitch. Thoughts? I really would like an outside perspective because these arguments are detrimental to the health of our relationship and this long distance shit is hard enough. And if you read all this garbage thank you.
going to work graveyard shift have a goodnight all hope to clear my head a little and read a few of u stoners reponses when i get back - peace n love
I think you two just got pissy with each other for some damn stupid reasons. I also think you should both just walk away and let the argument die.
This is kind of a stupid argument hahaha. And I wouldn't call her a self obsessed bitch cuz of it, she's just emotional because she was offended by him and was trying to defend herself and was explaining and you didn't respond the way she thought she would 'cause dudes are all logical and shit and women are more emotional, it's harder for them to just ignore something when it hurts their feelings, even when they know it's stupid to debate, so she was probably more focused on how it hurt her feelings than the fact that she shouldn't have argued back just because it was pointless. Just move on bruh, kiss and make up. Definitely not a thread-worthy argument.
Honestly? Your girl had an argument with the dude as he was packin up and leaving about why she feels socially awkward. So then you were like who gives a fuck basically because that's how most people would feel about that. He was pretty much insulting her and instead of insulting back she explained herself weakly. And then vented to you about it and when you told her fuck that niqqa she turned it into being mad at you. This girl will never hold you down the way you want her to I'm sure and will probably be more of a headache than anything. Also seems like the type that once she has a few friends she probably feels like the shit until she loses them and then complains about it. Just my opinion
lol, no disrespect intended man but that was the dumbest shit I've read in a long time. Sounds like you both just want to argue with each other over anything, doesn't matter what.
This morning I text her, wanting to just get over this bullshit and apologize etc etc. She simply responds "im done telling you things and ranting to you" I respond, "i responded logically and thats why we argued is it worth telling me you never wana tell me things again?" her "Yes. I tell you things because knowing youll listen or not, is the best comforting feeling. And yesterday when PEDRO said that i was nothing but a blip on the surface. He made me feel especially insignificant. And i know its not true. But when i talked to you and you were ignoring what happened and focusing on what shouldve happened. Imagine how much more insignificant I felt. It didnt matter that i did something that i felt was comfortable and necessary for me. It only mattered t hat there was a better way of handling that. Don't you think I reacted while having that in my mind? I'm just really angry and sad right now. I'm feeling a lot and i wouldn't have to if it hadnt been for the argument with you yesterday. So I'll talk to you when im ready." So i havent responded to that yet and im just really frustrated I just wana move on but she doesnt care i apologized or anything she probably think its just bullshit. Lol you guys think its time to throw the towel in?
Ok I read half of that but it is all a bunch of useless drama and you should just move on with what happened, no big deal Sent from my iPad using Grasscity Forum
Your girlfriend is butthurt tell her your sorry and blah blah blah then take her out to eat and get some poootang my friend. Sent from my iPad using Grasscity Forum
"Pedro and my girlfriend often get in minor arguments" This sounds just like your relationship, Pedro giving yo bitch the Taco while you're away.
Strong & unpopular stereotype follows lol....... to me it reads like you approached it like a logical, reasoning person...maybe in this context I can say you thought about this "dramatic" situation like a man would. Girls interpret "dramatic" situations more emotionally and particularly if they're involved. It's your GF bud, don't ruin shit by "reasoning" with her. Put your pussy hat on, and you would've seen this was a "call" to bash buddy and console your pussy....errr i mean GF. Whatsmore is the shortest path to resolution is to apologize for the position you took. Which pretty much boils down to "Sorry I was right dear." ahahaha