More or less on topic: once a man asked me why white people hate pork chops. I didn't have a response, I've never hated pork chops.
Candy land is awesome! #102 Children's Games as Adults By far, the easiest way to befriend a large group of white people is to organize and then participate in a game that is normally played by children. Unlike the practice of having their parents help with rent, this activity is a pleasant reminder to white people that they have not fully severed their ties with childhood. When it comes to outdoor games, the most popular one remains kickball. In fact, you might have noticed groups of white people at the park playing this game in loosely organized leagues (see #65 Co-Ed Sports for further explanation). Though kickball is by far the most popular, if you were to suggest a game of capture the flag, Red Rover (pictured), British Bulldog, Tag, or even Hide and Go Seek your popularity would with white people would skyrocket. In addition, you would likely become a legend in your office. Once the game has actually been organized and you are at the event, things will pretty much just sort themselves out. White people will be so happy to be outside reliving their childhood, that they will all be in a good mood. But if you want to take it to the next level, you should have a friend show up and say to one of the white people: “excuse me, what are you people doing?†The white person will tell them what game they are playing and promptly issue an invitation. To which your friend should say “I'm sorry, I'm an adult. You people are crazy.†It will make the white person feel great and give them a story for years to come If you do not know enough white people for a large outdoor game or do not have access to adequate space, you are not out of luck. White people are also quite fond of indoor activities, especially ones that can be easily combined with alcohol. Therefore it is a rock-solid guarantee that you will gain white friends if you suggest a social gathering where people drink and play old board games like Candyland, The Game of Life, or Mouse Trap. Just the suggestion of an event like this will get them more excited than word of a new Trader Joe's opening.
'White people are also willing to spend over $500 on smoking devices just to find new and more expensive ways to smoke weed.' Or, they want a new way and a diffrent, funner way
everybodies talking about trying to drive out racism out of America, but how can we, when we have bastards steriotyping white people and black people. i know your white, but come on now man...
No, it certainly would not have been. That is the point. There are white, black, brown, etc people that all exhibit these characteristics. Certainly not all white or all black people. Serious stoner stereotypes would have been better than white stereotypes. That is why I find the piece not to be funny, kind of beats the joke to death.
im a whiteboy and i smoke weed with my mom but she always asks if shes a bad mom when she does. weed is a drug to her and she smokes it to get high and so do I but most of this stuff is true.especially the apple one
a lot of stuff, is very true,,,allthough ive never had '' yellow fever ''...it wasnt my decision to make,,, i feel no guilt for something my ancestors did,,, ..and on topic, me being a pasty white boy,,,{ even got the redneck side of being white down } i like white chicks,,,i dont find chicks of other races,, '' sexual'' stimulating for me,,, i mean yeah theys fine babes of all races,,, but if you put them side-by-side,, next to a bed,, I'D PICK THE PALE SKINNED BLONDE,,WITH POUTY LIPS, AND A NICE RACK''... everytime,,, what can i say...if your happy with one brand of ice-cream,,, why try anything different.?
Here is one for the grammar Nazis! #99 Grammar White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others. When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,†“being poor,†or “getting shot.†If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their' when they mean ‘there.' Maybe comma splices, I'm not sure but it's definitely one of the two.†If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it's probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma†and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of “it's. Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party. Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professional, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proof read your work before you send it out. “Hey Jill, I'm sorry to do this, but I have a business degree and I'm a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?†This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though their liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting. Don't worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread.