Story of a (girl)friend and I

I have been friends with this girl for about a bit over a year now. We will go through stages where we hang out often, then there seems to be a time where we don't hang or talk as much, then we get back into it and talk/hangout almost daily. We have the same group of friends and lately theres been a group of about 6-10 of us who have really been getting tight together, both guys and girls, some of these friends being bf/gf couples.

I have been hanging with said girl for about 1 1/2 months nearly every damn day, sometimes it's in a group setting and sometimes it's just the two of us. We hit up music shows together, drink, smoke, go grab a bite, hang out and watch tv/listen to music, talk about life, everything, she's a really chill person and super laid back like me, and we share alot of the same interests. I've always been attracted to her physically but it was only up until recently that I could have seen it going somewhere other than just a friendship.

One night about a month ago, a friend dropped the two of us off at my place after a night of drinking. We laid in my bed and bullshitted for a while, smoked up and just proceeded to chill out and talk. I was pretty hammered. We have never talked like this to each other, so it really threw me off when she said it.... she looks at me and says "I've been laying here thinking what it'd be like to kiss you." I was befuddled, partly because I was not totally with it, and also because we'd never messed around or even talked about it. I just blushed a little and didn't really know what to say. She says, "Well I guess there's only one way to find out." So we start kissing.

It was pretty damn good I must say and I was really into it. She proceeds to rip all of her clothes off and stripped me down too. So we're laying in my bed making out, shes on top of me, I'm like holy shit is this really happening with this girl? I had my doubts because I do enjoy her friendship so much and I know that when this sort of thing comes into play it can really effect the relationship as a whole. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl who is friends with our circle but has been coming around alot less lately, which I'm fucking thankful for, but thats another story.

She wanted to have sex but I was so drunk I couldn't get my dick up. I have a problem with this whenever I drink too much. I also told her I wasn't sure if I wanted to, because I was worried what it might do to our friendship, all while she's sitting on top of me butt-ass naked. After hanging with her all the time since this has happened, in retrospect, I wish I would have fucked her that night (keep in mind the night I described was around a month ago). Since that night, we haven't talked about it, brought it up, or been physical with each other at all outside of casual flirting gestures. Our social interactions haven't been awkward or anything, but we don't talk about it. We flirt alot and get physical when it comes to that, but no kissing or anything of that nature has happened.

The only time we did talk about it was when we laid in bed that night, and I asked her if she was doing it just because she was drunk. She insisted that she wasn't really drunk anymore, that her buzz had mostly worn off. Eh, thats up for interpretation, who knows. We have even slept in the same bed 2-3 times since this has happened but we never end up fooling around.

She was over last night after work, we went to get some food and just came back and chilled out. We were flirting like crazy and I wanted to kiss her so bad but I feel like I don't know how to (re)break the ice... after a few hours of hanging she left to go home. I'm thinking that drunken night made it harder for me to initiate something again. It's rare that a girl makes me feel this way. I'm usually pretty up-front about it, I'm a confident guy and I've had my fair share of women, but she's different and I can't really put my finger on why I'm being such a chickenshit to make the move.

I'm not sure what I want. Jumping into a relationship is the last thing I want, but this girl has been on my mind constantly and I'm dropping the story on my fellow Blades to see what you guys think. In a perfect scenario I would like to bang her from time to time, and still remain friends, maybe see where it ends up but above all, not make things get all crazy and fucked up just because we are both horny and attracted to each other