Got poop stories? Tell em here! So sophmore year (2 years ago) me and my buddy Fitz were late to our first hour. At our old highschool, if you were late to any class you had to go to this thing called Sweep which was literally just a room where you had to sit the whole hour, and you couldn't talk or do anything. Well we were not down to sit in a silent room all hour, so we were like, lets just hang out in the bathroom so security doesn't see us roaming the campus. This is where shit went down. I don't know why, still to this day how it happened or why, but one of us suggested SHITTING on the bathroom floor. So we went in seperate stalls, and each shat. You will never experience true friendship until you hear a friends turd slap to the ground. The next day, the schools announcement went something like "Whoever is defiling school bathrooms, we're on to you." A few months later me and my friend Tommy were walking home from somewhere, when a bunch of fliers blow by us. For some reason Tommy decides "Hey I'm going to wipe my ass with one of these fliers." So he wiped his ass with a flier, and stuck the shit side to a car. Not one of my proudest things to see. LAST NIGHT- Me and my buddy Alex were bored at my place around 11 at night, and decided to walk up to the gas station, half-hoping to run into someone selling some bud. Well we get there with no luck, so I bought a bag of Munchies and ate half of it as we walked home. We got to my place to drop off the rest of the chips, and decided to walk up to Wal-Mart still half-hoping to run into some muurijuana. Get there, no luck, start walking back. This is where things get shitty. My stomach starts feeling pretty turrible. We weren't even 1/4 of the way back home yet, and I KNEW the shits were brewing. So we start walking through this neighborhood, and for the first time in my life, I had to poop and I knew I couldn't hold it in, no matter how clenched my ass cheeks were. I ran to this grassy walkway between two houses, dropped trou, and shit. Alex goes "AY DUDE WIPE WITH YOUR BOXERS." So I did, which caused me to lose a fine pair of Hane's/: I pull my pants up to like, underneath my ass and we start trekking home again. We walked through a park when some of the sprinkler's were going off, and Alex told me to use a sprinkler to cleanse my ass, so I squatted over this sprinkler and used it like a bidet. Honestly it wasn't bad at all. Then we finally got home where I continued spurting for like an hour. Don't be shy, everyone poops!
i hate the really big crappers where you're trying to push it out but it hurts and right when you relax and sigh it sucks back in a little, ughhh, or the ones where it makes the toilet water splash on your ass, gotta throw down a shit load of toilet paper
These aren't about me, but they're about some dude my brother knew (this was back in the 80's). I'll tell the stories exactly how he told me. They're not too crazy. Anyways, this dude ate some weird shit for breakfast. Something along the lines of a hot-dog with maple syrup. So he's driving to work and he gets the shits. He pulls over to a gas station and runs into the bathroom and doesn't even make it. He shits liquid all over the place. His underwear is saturated with liquid shit. He gets so frustrated that he throws the underwear against the wall where it makes a smacking sound and sticks. Needles to say the dude didn't make it to work that day. Another quick one about the same guy was his wife was somewhere near his asshole. Don't ask me why - I don't want to speculate and ruin the story. She ended up pulling wadded toilet paper from his ass because he didn't wipe too good. Why my brother told me this shit? Who the fuck knows. But those stories made an impression on me because I was only 7 years old when he told them to me. So yeah, I just remembered them right now because I'm blazed... Ooh! Another one from my brother about a different guy: My brother was living in Cali at the time, and he said he would frequent this park all the time. The park had it's own bathroom. Well, there was a Spanish dude that cleaned the bathroom and his name was Moses. So, some asshole thought it would be funny to take a shit in the middle of the bathroom. Then they took a Sharpie and drew an arrow pointing to the shit. Next to the arrow, the dude wrote "Clean this, Moses!!!" My brother's a fucked up dude!!!!! So are his friends!
A nasty one my sisters boyfriend wont poop for weeks and when he does he will clog toilets and will get banned from public places for it... Won't take a shit except for pubic bathrooms.... its funny and nasty at the same time.
it was the last night of exams a few months ago so almost everyone on my floor went out and got wasted, so when everyone got back from where they were. it was like 3 am and there was me, my roommate, my suitemate, and 2 other kids all just sitting in the hallway talking. we got to talking about these 2 girls who lived next to my roommate and i's dorm, and always get butthurt about us drawing penises on their whiteboards and my roommate and i playing music all the time. so one of my friends decided it would be hilarious to take a shit in the hallway right in front of her door. next day we were all leaving to go home for break, but our RA never knew who it was anyway. he actually thought it was funny, but it was his job to try to find out who did it. though, he never did. edit: the girls FLIPPED the next day. they said their room was permanently scarred with the smell.
When I was 16 I ate around 12 burritos before going on a school trip to see a Broadway play. We had great seats right in front on the top mezzanine.(balcony) I was seated all the way in the middle of my classmates when my stomach began to bother me. I figured I would ignore it, until it was too late... I made it halfway down the aisle before realizing I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom. I unbuttoned my pants and bent over the balcony, letting diarrhea violently erupt from my anus, which sprayed the entire crowd below. They all screamed in horror and disgust as they realized the foul liquid they had been covered in was pure shit. I sat there exhausted, ashamed...
one time i was indebted to this real sleazy guy, owed him some money. well to pay it off he asked me to videotape something for him. i get there, and lo and behold, 2 hot chicks. im thinking oh my lucky day, porn shoot!!! WRONG these chick shit in a cup, and gobbled it up. it was just these 2 chicks, and they ahd a single cup of poo, and i had to tape it. sometimes i wonder what that fuckin guy did with that video.