Stoner Stereotypes! Which are you!?

Discussion in 'Apprentice Tokers' started by DeeJayBoy, Apr 4, 2001.

  1. Heheheh... I know, we all hate stereotypes, but they're fun. Check these out. Which are you? Is your stereotype not listed?


    Drop-Out Stoner Stereotype
    --------------------------
    This is the most common stereotype. Drop-out stoners didn't graduate from high school because they skipped most of their classes. They were always getting into trouble and sneaking around. You'd find a drop-out stoner in the bathroom trying to hide his smoke. They usually sounded like they had accents from California and they never washed (or changed) their clothes. They drove really crappy cars (usually vans with a mattress in the back) and were always getting tickets. The police usually knew them by name.

    Drop-out stoners usually had lots of room mates. That's because most of them couldn't keep their fast food or movie theater jobs. And the only reason they wanted a job was to buy more weed. They were always late to work and looked like they had just woken up even if it was 9 in the evening. They didn't talk about much other than marijuana and getting high. They usually didn't own products like shampoo or toothpaste and thought of such objects as secondary to the weed they wanted. They would only buy weed in nickel or dime size bags and always owed a bunch of money with promises to pay back later.

    The drop-out stoner was the typical stoner of the movies. They never had girl friends, they played jokes on the jocks, and they dropped out of school.

    Morbid Stoner Stereotype
    ------------------------
    The morbid stoner always listened to metal and pinned up pentagrams on their black walls. They wore black t-shirts with metal band logos and blue jeans (dressing up consisted of a wrinkled button up shirt). They usually tried to grow their hair long and had weird fascinations with chain mail armor and dragons. For whatever reason, the morbid stoner was always obsessed with evil. They had bongs shaped like skulls, they lit black candles, and usually collected knives and horror flicks. They always seemed to smoke Marlboro cigarettes and 9 times out of 10 had a Zippo lighter. And even though they were obsessed with the occult and anything evil, they were usually pretty nice and easy to get along with (which never made a lot of sense).

    The morbid stoner usually always bought a quarter bag and never owed much money. They usually bought an older car and tried to fix it up some. They would tend to stay up at night and sleep late. And they'd always be talking about getting tickets to the next metal concert that was coming into town. They were laid back and always seems just a slight bit arrogant. They were nice but they really didn't give much of a crap about what you were saying. The world was against them in their eyes and for whatever reason, they had to stick together to fight the war of society.

    Did I mention that they usually could do hand drawings of really evil stuff that looked amazing?

    Hippie Stoner Stereotype
    ------------------------
    You knew this one was coming. The hippie stoner was always the happy stoner. They were always the most fun to get stoned with. They liked colorful music, decorations, and clothes. They always had things laying around that would make your mind work overtime after you smoked some of their really good stuff. They were peaceful and loving. They didn't judge anyone except the authorities that made the laws banning their life.

    The hippy stoner had black lights, tie die shirts, leather fringes, beads, and their place always smelled a little funny (not necessarily good or bad). They eventually got into piercings and a little more modern music. Still, their favorite music was the 60's and they always wanted to know how to play some obscure musical instrument. They seemed to have hints of some weird religion. They always got hand-me-down furniture that was broken in and comfortable.

    The hippy stoner was happy about life and made the best out of the situations they faced. They usually had health food and loved anything natural. For whatever reason, make-up and hair gel was not their friend. They always knew about this weird stuff to do when you got sick or hurt yourself. Life was never dull with the hippie stoner.

    Party Girl Stoner Stereotype
    ----------------------------
    The party girl stoner isn't necessarily of the female gender. They got their name because where they congregate, there will usually be more women than men. This group usually included college students, jocks, strippers, waiters/waitresses, people who frequent clubs or bars, and Christian smokers.

    This is the second most clickish group one can find. You'd be lucky if they thought about inviting you. The party girl stoner is always showing some amount of skin or making sexual references. They are incredibly beautiful people and are incredibly materialistic. They can also be incredibly funny and goofy when having one of their many parties. They tend to use and run over people and are arrogant. They are social machines and a good percentage of what they talk about is gossip, revenge, or how someone did them wrong at their work. They usually have hot tempers because they are spoiled and they already know this (sometimes they are proud of this).

    The party girl stoner is also a good drinker. Half the time, they are drunk when they are stoned. They love shopping malls and are usually middle or upper class. They are always fighting with their significant other and there tends to be a significant amount of drama associated with their immediate lives (especially their mother or father for some reason). They watch a lot of TV and love the most popular top-40 music. They are trendy, popular, and they usually lack a sense of spirituality.

    Pimp Stoner Stereotype
    ----------------------
    The pimp stoner is usually not a pimp (of course). They are laid back and relaxed. They take life as if comes to them. They are engrossed in their culture and are usually somewhat close to family members (who may or may not smoke with them). The pimp stoner is usually focused on a certain style to the point where it wastes time and energy and they aren't fast to make decisions. They are usually low to mid income and they are the third hardest click to get into.

    The pimp stoner is one of the few stoners who love athletics and outside. They are overly concerned with their clothes and cars so they can impress their friends. They ask a lot of favors from each other and borrow a lot from each other. One can say this group really sticks together. They also tend to cuss a lot and most of the time they roll joints. They don't waste a lot of time on bongs or pipes.

    And if you smoke with the pimp stoner, relax. It's going to be a while before he finally takes a drag and passes that thing around.

    Corporate Stoner Stereotype
    ---------------------------
    This guy is sharp. He's dressed up in his suit or uniform and he's all about business. He's hiding back in his hotel room smoking a joint and hiding it from most of the people he knows. He spends a lot of time in bars and will hang out a lot with the party girl stoners.

    This is the most difficult click to get into, period. They can be arrogant, rude, self-centered, pushy, and down-right back stabbing. They usually have one or two guys they hang out with most of the time and they spend a lot of time in the bar. They have a need to succeed and they are interested in number one so if they think you are going to rat them out, they'll destroy you. You can't tell who they are because they don't tell anyone they smoke. They are tiny secret societies and even the drug dealers don't usually like them because they are worried about getting caught.

    Nerd Stoner Stereotype
    ----------------------
    The nerd stoner is a little more rare than the other groups. They love to get stoned and work on their computers. They can do all kinds of incredible things and they usually are the ones who write books.

    They never stop... they are always building a bigger bong, rolling a longer joint, or doing something you've never seen before. This group is the easiest to join but not to get along with because the debates, research, computer time, attention deficit disorder, and weird quirks can wear on some people. They love life and are somewhat pessimistic about people. They are more prone to spill your bong water or salivate all over the joints they smoke. They are a weird and true breed with a mix of chaos and security.

    They love junk food and their house is usually a disaster. They collect junk that you thought no one could use until they made a bong out of it that worked disturbingly well. They are funny, difficult, and sincere and they cherish their friends. Their house usually smells weird because they haven't taken out the trash or done any laundry in a decade or so. They love life, blue skies, and have ten million good ideas they'll never finish. The nerd stoner is one of the nicest guys you can smoke with and they usually like to hang with the hippie stoners.

    Gamer Stoner Stereotype
    ------------------------------------------
    While very closely related to the Nerd Stoner Stereotype, the Gamer Stoner is a very interesting breed. They can have undertones of any of the stereotypes listed, save for the Party Girl. They love to get stoned and play games. More often than not, Marijuana is the Gamer Stoner's 'Spinach'. They get super-human video game powers whilst they are stoned and playing games.

    The Gamer Stoner is indeed a hardcore gamer. Sometimes Gamer Stoners have a tough time finding their own kind. But once two Gamer Stoners find eachother, it's like they're old friends. They get along well with most other stereotypes, with the exception of the Party Girl. Gamer Stoner's often wish they could put them out of their misery. They have interesting quirks and interesting vocabulary. Often heard is the expression 'w00t!'. And most of the time the Gamer Stoner is very figity with his hands.

    Gamer Stoners are very cool people and are very laid back. They enjoy movies, tv, and of course, Games. When you walk into a Gamer Stoner's pad, you'll quickly notice the top notch entertainment center along with the latest consoles, PC, and games. The gamer stoner is always looking for ways to make something louder, faster, and/or stable. They never throw away boxes and always have electronics and stereo equipment that 'is going to get fixed this weekend'.

    The Gamer Stoner usually have a job that makes them enough money to live nicely and have the latest gear. Some Gamer Stoners actually become a part of the game industry. They also are very into music, technology, and exotic pets.

    You can usually find these guys at LAN Parties, Pro Wrestling Events, 20-Something Bars, Software stores, music events, festivals, and of course, Raves. :)

    They generally smoke out of everything. They have just as much pride in their paraphenalia as they do in their games and electronics. They generally go through an eighth or two a week.
     
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  2. Right now I am the Gamer Stoner but hope to turn into the corporate stoner but by that time it will be legal so I wont be hiding :D

    The game I am addicted to right now is called Dark Reign 2...DAMN AND I THOUGHT STARCRAFT WAS GOOD :D
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Right on brother! That's me too! :)

    You're an RTS freak??? Right on. Do you play Red Alert 2 or Age of Empires 2? If so, we should set up a game time. :) I don't play DR2, but I also play Counter-Strike, TFC, and NOLF.

    Lemme know what's up!!!

    PLUR!
     
  4. I am a hippie. you now what would be cool? Instead of the normal light that emmits from a computer screen it would be black light. or if you can see into your computer and there was a lava lamp. lol
     
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  5. i just got a reaaallly nice champaigne colored used leather couch from a friend. ha ha.. i think about it now, and i don't have a stick of NEW furniture that i bought in my house. save the cat scratching post! ha ha. i suppose i would fit just fine into the hippy category.

    i had fun reading that. seeing which categories the people i know all fit into. those death metal ones are an odd bunch i think. my bf's step brothers are like that. they're big on always wearing sunglasses! ha ha.
     
  6. Definently the nerd stoner, as soon as I get off shift at the call centre, i'm rolling a joint or packing my 2 litre homemade bong and I hit the graphics. ALL PRAISE OPEN GL
     
  7. Wow! I defintely fall under the Morbid Stoner Stereotype. Anyone who travels in my room knows this.. i'm a big black/death metal fan.. but very peaceful.. I just like the dark genre.. dark music, films, clothing, art, etc.

    mmm it's refreshing to read all these sterotype's.. i probably know at least one person that fits in each of these categories.. mmm we are defintely the coolest people on the earth:}
     
  8. Hmm, I say I'm between the Hippie Stoner and the Gamer Stoner.. though probably more Hippie.
     
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  9. I would have to place myself in the pimp/gamer stoner.....

    this was pretty interesting to read... :p
     
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  10. I dont really fall into one of those catagories. Me and my friends love chiefin and just chillin. I pimped out my basement, I've got like 4 chairs in a little circle type deal with a TV in the corner. We just chill down there get stoned and watch TV or think about shit or whatnot...We smoke out of bowls and play alot of video games...I just chill
     
  11. I would definetly be a hippie. I'm totally all about happiness. Except for the health food. I enjoys me junks foods!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. i dont know how people can not like junk food.
    and tofu is nasty.
     
  13. Well, I'm a mutt. ;) Go figure. I guess I'm a morbid-hippie-nerd stoner. Fuckin' A. Why be simple when complex is so much more interesting? :rolleyes:

    Peace.
     
  14. a lid ! a lid! zonedude said a lid! i havent herd that one in a while.
     
  15. I'm a Hippy Nerd Gamer stoner.

    i thought i was just a hippy stoner until i read all these... but now if i'm more honest i guess i'll have to admit that i'm more nerd than hippy.

    it's interesting applying this to all the people i've smoked with in the past... and i realised that originally i hung around with a groupd of mainly hippy stoners who were really into their music and often mingled with the 'morbid' stoners (goths)... then because of one bad apple in the croud we couldn't get rid of i changed and hung around with a group of nerd stoners (not true nerds, they were a strange nerd party girl hybrid group) and now i'm hanging around with a true gaming possy... (during which time i have had many sessions with another group of mainly pimp stoners) and true to the nature of the gamer stoners they are somewhat a mix of hippies, nerds, purely gamerstoners, and although i don't think anyone else knows it there is a corp hybrid stoner in there too, but he's harmless enough... for now. I've met and had sessions with all the differant stereotypes here... and i'd have to say that the nerd stoner is by no means as rare as you might think... and there are differant subclasses of nerd stoner, the most comon of which i believe is the...

    musical fanatic stoner. this is a strange group often mascerading as another type but always distinguishable by the very large music collection and vast knowledge on their chosen genres of music. their love of the herb is beaten by one thing... music. music is their drug of choice, not cannabis, and if they had to choose between the two, canabis would be out. cannabis is only used by them to enhance the music and thoughts about music. engage them in a conversation about music and you'll soon find yourself out of your depth and the conversation will turn to you simply being re-educated about music. they share all the characteristics of the nerd stoner, only about musical things. garunteed to play at least one musical instrument well their house will be bound to have many more scattered about the place. they have signed up to all the differant mp3 sharers online and are most probably members of exclusive webrings for only thee most musically inclined.
    of this type i have met one pure musical fanatic stoner, one hippy musical fanatic stoner (which i imagine is quite a common hybrid considering hippy stoners love of music), one morbid musical fanatic (and he did have alot of other friends, some of whome could also have been musical fanatic stoners)and one musical fanatic stoner posing as a gamer stoner (partial hippy & partygirl).

    another subclass of the nerd stoner is the scientist-philosopher stoner. often gazing into space whilst toking on a joint (although this is not necessarily his only smoking device choice), dreaming of those moments when they can engage someone, whether they be scientist philosopher stoner or not, in a conversation about some new crazy physics theory, or about whether the big bang theory adequetly sums up the creation of the universe, or what lies beyone the edge of the universe, or about the true meaning of of infinity. under their bed isn't a pile of wank mags, but a pile of new scientist, astronomer's monthly, universal scientist and a dozen 2 inch thick harbacks about various astro-physics, quantum-physics and spacetime theorys. true to the nature of a stoner and not that of a scientist, their passion lies truely in the theory, the power of thought, not in the power of practice of numbers and experiments. their dream is to be the first stoner to manage to smoke a bong in zero gravity, to be stoned on another planet or to discover the planet that is home to an alien race of tokers. These stoners in their true form are a very, very rare breed indeed, but fear not because there's a little bit of them in nearly all of us. Due to their absolute rarity they do their best to be friendly to other groups of stoners, but true to the nature of the nerd stoner, they are not great 'people' people.
    I've met two of these before. although one of them was a hybrid of alsorts, mostly a gamer.

    but having said all that... I think it's important to remember that these are just stereotypes and despite how we may resemble some of the characteristics, we are still all individuals.

    Digit
     
  16. I really don't think i am any of them. I do take things from certain groups but hmmm....

    I am a bit of a nerd in that I do tend to do the whole books and computers thing and I get down to my studies when I need to. But when the party happens (and if i can be) I'M THERE. But I just get on with the shit that I need to do to get some med qualifications under my belt (that's my chosen path) and have fun when I can.

    I listen to wide varieties of music and like the bright colours thing in hippie.

    Unlike the party gir- I don't really love what I own- it's just there and I use it. Take most of it away (bar my lap top and cd player for music and the city oh and my glass spoon you should know why I need that) and I'm still happy as larry (is larry happy?).

    I'm not morbid BLEIVE ME- how many times have you seen a hawiian shirted goth?

    Not a pimp because I use pipes and dress scruffy (HEY! WHO'S scruffy lookin?)

    Not a gamer cos I have a life outside the pc (tho I do like games) and I HATE RAVE!!!!!

    So where would you put me?
     
  17. i kinda fit a little of each category, but mostly the hippie stoner. and, ok, kinda the nerd stoner(i love to read/write). but you didn't hear ME say it!
    xo~
     
  18. i'm a little of most of it. lol i am diffenetly not a drop out!!
    i'm a little morbid/hippie/nerd/gamer.

    i like black, dragons, horror, etc. i like nature/natural, i don't wear make-up, i don't own a curling iron or hair dryer, i just bought new furniture for the first time ever - thanks to the gov't, i own lots of weird/interesting things and music. i read and write, i play pc games, own a ps and stereo, i live on my pc when not working, i like the outdoors (sometimes)....

    i am.
     
  19. I'm anteenage "pimp smoker" lol. But I use pipes and I'm not poor. I hope to be a corporate one after I graduate high school/college/b-school. I like little bits of hippie stuff (hemp, black lights, 60s muscle cars, which is kind of "square") thrown on top of modern stuff. So I guess I'm a cross pimp/hippie stoner, with a luittle party (not girl) thrown in.
     
  20. mix between the burnout and pimp
     

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