Stoner: Oh Shit Moments!

one time years ago my mom was out of town and me and my best friend at the time were smoking his bong in the garage, when my dad came in. he was like "Whats that?" and pointed to the bag. we were like "uhhh..." and then he pointed to the bong. than he picked it up, grabbed the lighter and ripped it really hard, and we were like "Oh shit." he was coughing for almost an hour. did i mention my dads a 55 year old retired marine?

 

Bump.

 

Wow I was at a party like a month ago was super stoned when her parents come home. Were all in the garden and her dad screams 'ggggggeeeettt ooouut' we all run to the end of her garden and have to hop the fence. Then were all just jammin on a golf Cource next to her house when bare ppl start gettin mugged. Then my mate runs after the muggers cuz he's retarded like that thinkin he's gettin his phone back wen they have bloody bats luckily I didn't get anything taken but fuuuuuuuck me that was one complete fuck up of a night!!

 

one time at my parents christmas party, me and my cousin started pounding brews, we were havin a good time, then we smoked a sick joint and we got blazed as hell.
and you know how your mouth can get really dry after you smoke? well my cousins upper lip and his teeth were dry as shit and his upper lip was stuck on his teeth, it was completly halarious he was walking around the kitchen and talking to tons of ppl like this. then i took him to my room and i was like, yo wtf is wrong with ur lip man? he feels his lip and i told him he has been walking around like thatt for like 20 min and we started roaring. good times.

 

4 Hours of constant back room burning.

Me: "Yo will we should totally do some like jackass shit"
Will: *slow grin and chuckle* "what"
Me: "dude, dude, dude, we'll dunk your head in the ice cooler!"
3 minutes later the camera was set up.
Will: "Ok don't do it too fast!"
Me: "LETS GO!" *grab his head slam it in to a loud banging noise*
Will: *lifts head still grinning red circle mark on forehead* "arrrghhh whyyy man whyyyy"
I should have removed the cans from the cooler first...

That or. Blaze before movies. Trailers come on.
Me in my head: "This movie looks good. That too. Yo I gotta see that one. That looks hilarious. Wait that new fast and furious looks really good too i wish i was seeing that." Just then the words fast and furious pop up on the screen. Me out loud: "OH SHIT!"

 

My one friend always thinks he has pissed himself during smoke sessions. We'll be chilling, and all of a sudden he looks down at his pants, and starts feeling them for wetness. He has never pissed himself, yet haha

 

Fuck, it was about 3 years ago. Im at this party sitting at the kitchen smoking bong. Theirs already a lot of people here. Anyways were sitting here have a really good fucking time and this one kid I kinda knew said "I butt dialed 911." Oh, shit! At this point everyone is bitching at the kid, funniest fucking thing. So everyone starts leaving before the cops show up. We get a text (forget how long after) saying the party is back on, Oh yeahhhh!

 

that's just Sasquatch, you should of offered him a hit.

 

That reminds me about my step-dad. My step-dad was dry for a couple days, while me and my friend are blazing in my room, all of a sudden of burst in my room. I thought he was going to fucking flip on me, anyways he asked if he could toke a few with us. So we let him, he's also 55.

 

Another time:

Ripping acrylic bongs in friends basement out the basement window. Had to spit out the window.

Me: "yo will"
Will: "what?"
Me: "The windows closed, oh shit."
Will: "whaaaat" slightly grins goes to touch it.
Me: "i spit there dude"
Will: laughing "wahaaaatt, oh shit."
Me: "oh shit..."


Hours later:


I go on a mission for pizza. Well the cat was standing on it so i got my friend and we went on our quest for food.

Me: *sees dog* "Yo don't move its a fucking bear!"
Him: "dude what" *laughs*
Me: *laughing but scared* "Dude a fucking bear!"
Him: "dude thats buddy" *slow grin and stoner chuckle
Me: "oh shit dude..."

 

holy shit, your name and sig cracked me up..
"oohh, mr. body massage-machine..GO!"
"ehh.. what the hell?!"

 

So me and my boy were chillin' in my truck smoking a bowl. We smoke in my driveway all the time so the only thing we have to worry about is parents, no cops. So anyway, we're both about high, and I noticed that my porch light shut off and I thought I heard the door. But I'm kinda high, so I said fuck it, and took my hit. Then as I'm blowing it out I see my mom's head bobbing over my dads truck like 10 feet away. I give the bowl to my friend and say, "moms coming!" He hides it really fast, I whip out a cigg, light it, and at the time my moms at the window, I blow the smoke straight into her face. She then proceeds to look all around the truck, and ask why it's so smokey. I play it off that we're just smoking ciggs with the windows up. I have NO IDEA how she didn't smell it. I mean, she's smelled it before. Then she goes, "Damn, I thought I caught ya'll this time. Well, goodnight." And walks away...

"Oh shit."

 

Me and two friends had just enough money to buy an oz from the city. We spend all day ripping getting it and since my house is 2 min from the train station we decide to walk. Now my friend buddy was holding the weed and as we walk down the street a cop drives by. We pay no attention although we are blazed, but then he stops the car. I was freaking out and he rolls down his and says hey you and he points to buddy. He says come here and asks what's your name, buddy says his real name, while holding an oz I might add. The cop says okay and drives off. Never been more scared in my life and my mom has caught me 20+ times. Truly an oh shit moment but a great memory

 

Damn ***** straight puttin your friend on blast. Swear to goD if you were my friend and put my first and last name on the internet sayin i smoke bud id be whoopin some ass real quick. I cant wait for your friend to log in that will be a true oh shit moment.

 

Putting his name here.. Whats going to happen when this thread pops up if he ever googles his name??

 

Oh my... I have quite a few of these... I'll start off simple.

Setting: Apartment's 5 car parking lot.
Near highschool

was blazing with a friend, bowl by bowl, we ripped that shit...
finished about 6 bowls or so in this pretty secure place.
my stoner senses were tingling, so, we bounced.
Right after we walked out of the driveway part of it, a soccer mom strolls up in her mini-van.
oh shit

 

everytime im blown and me or any of my friends drop the weed, and after the "OH SHIT!" i start laughing