Stoner: Oh Shit Moments!

A few nights ago I was breaking up some weed on a newspaper to pack my apple bowl outside sitting on the curb.

It was dark as fuck and I was just using the light from my phone. Plus I was already pretty high.

Then a car came down the street and I freaked out and rolled up the newspaper with the weed still on it and walked to another spot. And guess what? That's right when I got to the next spot all the weed was gone from the newspaper.

So we tried retracing our steps to look for the bud on the ground and couldn't find any of it.

I'm a genius, I know.

 

HHHOOOOOLLLLYYYY SSHHHHIIITT

,that even ain't a joke you've wasted weed on nothing just like that

 

This Reminds me of time i was smoking some brand new synthetic shit, and i started hallucinating and hearing voices telling me to kill myself and i fell in my driveway while my dad was coming outside and it was just downhill from there

 

I was burnin in the car outside my dads house and this fool comes outside taps the window...I'm convinced he's about to spaz and tell me how disrepectful I am for smokin outside his crib n shit...come to find out this dude wants to hit the L...can you say akward??!

 

Well, one time I was smoking a Marley joint and talking on the phone during a wake and bake session on my porch. This was like 8AM, and those sessions are the best. Well, about halfway through, I was already high off my ass from the dank I was smoking and the joint went out. I debated a bit if I should relight it, or just save it for later. I decided to save it for later and went back in the house. I used the restroom and when I was walking into my room, I saw my dad walking down the sidewalk back to the house (he forgot his badge for work). I said "oh shit" as I saw him walking down the sidewalk. My high ass sat their wondering what would have happened if I had lit up the joint again and was just puffin away as my dad showed up unexpectedly.

 

A few days ago I rolled up a fat ass blunt but I couldn't find a lighter so I said fuck it I'll just wait. Then like 30 seconds latermy mom walked through the door. and Then i wasn't mad at the bitch that stole my light

 

Exactly what I was going to say!

 

My first time smoking EVER! My friends and I are in the woods by my house smoking out of a gatorade bowl they had made, we have smoked almost all the weed and have one bowl left, half way through it I heard something turned around and their is this old dude just watching us. I say "There is a guy." My friends see...Oh shit! We walk to the road from the woods,the guy follows, we then start jogging, we turn around after a bit and he is still following us walking, but he is the same distance away even though we were jogging and he was walking. We all start sprinting down the road, we look back and there he is walking THE SAME DISTANCE! It was like a horror movie! So we all start booking it through peoples yards to get back to my place, I trip on the way back though. Then I was thinking, fuck this is a horror movie I am done for But my friend helped me up and he all got back to my house, So.... My first time smoking was defiantly an oh shit moment.

 

So a while ago I was blazing with my friends, afterwards we decide to go skate around the neighborhood. So were skating on this intersection (nighttime so nobodys there) and i have an 1/8 and a bong in my backpack, and a pipe in my pocket (and we fucking reek) So anywys this cop starts rolling up. That fucker took 2 minutes rolling by us as slow as it could drive, comes to a complete stop, and then just fucking bolts (i was hella baked so it probably just left at howeer fast they usually leave). Scared the shit out of me!!!! Haha we were all like oh shit! the whole time.

 

I used to live in my friend's basement. She had a couple of younger siblings and we weren't suppose to smoke in the house when they were home. My ex and I were blazing anyway and all of a sudden one of her sisters (she was 15) started to run down the stairs. We stashed the shit fast and sat there awkwardly. She handed us two spoonfuls of brownie mix and walk away without saying anything. Our "oh shit!" moment turned into the best moment of our lives. Thanks kid. You rock.

 

This one time me and some friends were smoking on the hillside at night and when we came down to go back and chill at my house, a guy with a flashlight came over towards us. He started yelling like "Hey get over here", and i look over to see my friend sprinting towards my house so we all ran but the cop didn't chase us. we made it back to my house and were acting really paranoid like looking outside and saw that it was a cop a little while later. We felt like bad asses after we realized that we ran from the cops.

 

keep this shit going, Ha i rememeber me and my friend smoked 2 joints and before I knew it we were somehow in on of my neighbors front yard on the ground crawling like an army soldier and i looked up and saw the other neigher next door looking straight at me like wtf was i doing and so i quick got up and ran somewhere. Best shit ever. Went ding dong ditchin too later. Ding dong ditching while baked is soooo intense and fun.

 

one time i decided it would be nice to have some pre ground bud, so i grind up a few grams and put it in this metal tin. and i decided to pack a bowl, i was stupid enough to hold the open tin in the same hand i was packing with, the bud spilled all over my carpet with my mom right down stairs and the room reaked (OH SHIT MOMENT!). i figured i was fucked either way so i went and got the vacuum and cleaned it up, i was so lucky she didnt ask what i was cleaning up because she would have insisted on doing it. close call there

 

One night, I was hot boxing in a five person car, with six people. It was snowing like crazy and there was at least half a foot of snow on the ground. When we finished, we started to drive to McDonalds. We crashed in a ditch in a neighborhood. I called my bro and he towed us out. Definitely an "oh shit" moment?

 

recently me and my friend were playing a frisbee/blazing at a local park. we traveled a good mile to a cliff-like overhang, and my friends high ass left the frisbee there. so we are just getting back to the car and i say "did we get the frisbee?" and we all instantly were overcome with apathy because we realized that we forgot it. later that day, after our snacks, we returned to the hot park to retreive it.

 

so u vandalized someone's home? how would u feel if someone did that to your house? ass hole

 

my mom walked in on me rolling a j in my room... my music was up loud and i didn't hear her knock. Apparently my door wasn't even locked. At the exact moment i got up to close the window on the other side of my room, she walked in. I had just finished breaking up my bud and filling my paper. I turned around to her screaming in my face,"What is this?!", pointing to an unrolled paper filled with bud on my bedside table.... She grabbed it, ran into the bathroom and flushed it. Luckily it was only mids and i had the rest of my half oz hidden in a monster stash can sitting right next to it. We had a long talk in my room and she even pointed to the monster can once saying,"There is nothing wrong with drinking monsters but smoking...?" She had no idea it was a can with bud, visine, papers, and a lighter inside And after our talk she decided not to tell my dad who was at work at the time and give me a warning. I got away completely free

 

Okay so I had just gotten back from friends Grandmas house (She likes to smoke with us) my mom picked me up because by car was being serviced at the time i threw my bag in the back seat(where my bowl was) with a bunch of groceries once i got back to my moms house she asked me to carry in the groceries so i did. a few hours later i go to grab some batteries and there it was my bowl all i could say was "OH SHIT" as my mom walks into the room and says "we need to talk".

 

Sister leaves house, i assumed she was going to be gone awhile so i packed a fat bowl and went in to the bathroom to take a jamaican shower. turned the shower on full blast and blew the smoke into the fan thing. so i hop in the shower and when i come out my sister is home, on the couch, right next to the bathroom. i was terrified haha