Got zombied out, registered here. Now for some reason I feel its necessary to keep coming back lol, I fucked up.
a few days ago i was smoking a cig and put it out on top of my almost empty dew can and put the butt inside the can, and then took a sip of it less than 30 seconds later. I got ash all over my lips and in my mouth and it tasted like shit
a week ago my aunt had come over to say hi. She hadn't seen me for a while so she wanted to buy me something. I suggested to her that we go to this store and i tell her that i have to go online to find it. When i finally find the address she asked for directions on a map so i go on google maps. I type the location in. The map of the city pops up and im just in awe. It just looked so awesome to me and i end up zooming out and in looking at all the different streets and buildings and places i recognized and just totally spaced out. This whole time my aunt was next to me waiting for the map and she starts yelling at me after waiting forever then i realize what was i was doing i just started cracking up and laughing she didnt have a clue
i was toking my bong one night with my buddy back when i still had my bong. we were on our side stairwell. we finish up and i go into my basement to empty my bong. i was mad stoned and i went up to the sink. i normally pour my bong water in there but that night it was filled with laundry and clothes and being the stoned stoner i am i pour the water all over the clothes. somehow i covered it up. another story is we were in the same place but with like 6 other people and my dad caught me smoking a cig. he didnt no i smoked and got mad but in actuallity we were just hitting my bong. my friend hid it quickly. i was scared shitless tho cause my dad screamed caught ya! and i thought he meant smoking weed out of the bong not cigs lol. i also blew the drag right in his face which pissed him off too was funny tho .
I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible but leaving out info will water it down. Stoner mistake is towards the end but the beginning sets the tone My two friends and I were 16 at the time. My friend got a gallon of wine from his work that we proceeded to drink at his house. We then decided to sneak out to meet up with some girls. One of my friends and I thought it was a bad idea but our other friend was/is a fucking horndog so we went along. One thing our friend didn't tell us was that one of the girls dad was a cop which scared the shit out of us on the way but we were buzzin so we forgot about it pretty quickly. We get to their house and decided to smoke a bowl on the side of the street. Luckily it was so late and the town we grew up in was so small, no cars passed by. We only had a bowl so we smoked that which elevated our high from the alcohol and decided to go to my friends cabin where we could finish drinking the gallon of wine. On the way there, we stopped at a store to see if we could get anyone to buy us cigs. While we were there, my friend noticed a guy at a payphone and he said we should ask him if he could get more smoke. Me and my other friend did not like the idea of asking an adult and a stranger but he did nevertheless. The guy said sure and hopped in our truck and we went to a house in a not so nice part of town. Two other guys walk out and they were pretty scary looking. The guy we picked up went up to them for a while and we started to freak the fuck out because one of the guys had one hand behind his back the entire time. They didn't have any so the guy said he knew of another place but it was in the ghetto. Again, I said I didn't like the idea but we did it being the ever so dumb children that we were. So we go down a street called high street of all places lol. He said to drop him off at the corner and circle the block a few times. This is after he took the money of course. After the second time around, we saw police lights all of a sudden. The cop hauls ass up to us. At this point we knew we were fucked. My friends bong was behind the seat and I had a gallon a wine between my legs with no place to chuck it and we had 3 girls in the bed of the truck. The two cops come up to the car and ask what we were doing in the middle of the ghetto at 4am. We of course said we were just driving around. One cop shined her light in and saw the jug of wine. They then told us to get out of the car. Since the wine was between my legs, they arrested me for possession of alcohol. As I was sitting in the car, I started to be fucking enraged at the thought of me being the only one getting arrested. I started yelling at the cops and kicking the windows because I was so pissed. They then proceeded to search the truck for a while and never found the bong. I was thinking shit, they're not gonna find it. They then pulled the seat forward and found it. So they arrested my friend who was driving and the owner of the bong. He joined me in the back seat. As we arrive at the police station. they chained us to a pole and sat us down. By this point, the fact that we were fucked wasn't an issue so we made the best out of it since we were still completely blitzed. We saw the cop who arrested us walk into an office with my friends bong then come out a while later coughing up a lung. We looked at each other with this dumbfounded look that eventually turned in to rage as we suspected this mothafucking cop just smoked outta his bong without us. My friend will smoke any and everyone out as long he's involved but smoking outta his bong without him pissed him off to no end. I proceeded to burst out laughing my fucking ass off because he was so pissed. Around 6am, his parents came to pick him up then my parents came shortly after that. Needless to say, we were both grounded for a while from that stunt
I was toking up with three other friends. It was me, Jessie, Guille, and Ben. We were all alone in Jessie's house. Jessie and Guille wanted to go buy some coke (cocaine, not coca cola). Knowing scoring coke would take about an hour or so, me and Ben were too lazy to accompany them. So Jessie let us stay and told us her mom would be home pretty soon. By the way, her mom is cool with us smoking weed at the house. She doesn't mind. Sometimes she even joins. Sounds farfetched, I know, but it was true. Anyways, Guille and Jessie left. It was me and Ben and we had Jessie's laptop in the living room, we were just laughing our asses off to funny videos on youtube. Suddenly, we hear Jessie's mom come into the house...but with a friend. They walk into the living room, we say hi to each other, and the mom asks where Jessie is. We say she went out to get food with Guille and they'll be back soon. But that's when I realize who this house guest is, the woman that's with Jessie's mom. It's the head of the fucking DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency). I got so paranoid and shit because me and Ben didn't have enough time to see if our eyes were red or anything. Jessie's mom and the other lady go to another room, while me and Ben are going 'fuck, that was close.' That's when I realize another dilemma. Right on the table in the living room, like 3 feet away from us, is the pipe we had been smoking from. It's standing proudly, like an idol, on the table. Not to mention there are little pieces of weed scattered across the table top and seeds. I point this out to Ben and then we are REALLy freaking out. I mean, we're wondering 'Did they see it?' the entire time. Finally, the woman leaves the house and then Jessie's mom comes back and she looks at us. The first thing she says is "Oh, NOW you put the pipe away. A little word of advice, when the wife of the DEA is away...the first thing you do is put away the weed and pipe." We laughed our asses off after she said that but still, that was scary shit to experience. I thought for sure that DEA woman was gonna catch us. So, that's my stoner mistake. Now I've learned to put away the weed and pipe whenever I know someone is coming over, especially when I'm in someone else's house.
Me and my friend Archie made some firecrackers and ate them earlier and were baked out of our minds but we still wanted to smoke a little bit. He had forgotten his pipe at his house (reason we made firecrackers) so we made this shittastic bong out of a water bottle. Stupid me I put my mouth to the bowl and try to light mouthpiece which was unfortuantly located right beside my hair at this point. Needless to say my hair went up like a dry log and I was dancing around patting my head trying to put it out for a good 5-10 seconds. The burnt spot was so noticable I had to shave my head right there and make up some dumb excuse to tell my parents.
every time i smoke, i do a volcano(not on accident) but get this, i only volcano when the weed is spent its like a auto pipe clearing system i burped out a huge cloud of smoke in front of my parents when we were watching a movie, they didnt notice i left my bubbler in the bathroom once, filled with ash and shit, it stayed there for 2 days, and i DONT EFFING KNOW how they didnt see it(did the same with a condom wrapper) i volcanoed my bubbler once, water and weed went everywhere (it was a huge volcano)
I have some pretty good dumb shit, but last night we were pretty well baked and I had a little bit of money so me and the two people I was smokin with went to McDonald's to get some food. I got a large sweet tea, and proceeded to go to fill the cup...I was standing there with the thing pushed back waiting for it to fill, and Arielle comes up behind me "KATIE." and I let go and realize I've been missing the cup the whole time @.@ So she pours it instead.
christ, okay... I usually ride the bus for 2 hours every day. While doing that i usually roll joints. Well... I pull out my grinder, but up a fat nug when i dropped my papers. So i bend over to pick up that paper, and the grinder falls down. But it doesn't just fall down like that. It continues to roll under the seats all the way to the back of the bus where it bumps into someone's shoe. All i hear is like "HOLLY FUCK IT'S FUCKING WEED". Can you imagine how i felt walking up there and being like "uh, can i have my grinder back plox?"... thank god they were young people...
This one time me and my buddy and his friend finish smoking a couple bowls together and decide that we wanna go out and get some McDonalds or something. It's 3 in the morning and we decide to take a drive, but we start losing track of wat the hell were doing. First off lemme just note, the mcdonalds is about 3 blocks away from my friends house, but a few wrong turns, a lack of attention, and 30 minutes later we wind up about 7 or so miles away from his house. Lost as fuck we spend the next hour finding our way back home. It ended well tho cuz we got our food.
i smoke a couple blunts a drank some dueces with thi kid that lives in a tent behind target one time. and we both didnt have any cash on us at the time but we wer right by mcdonalds and taco bell so we go threw the mcdonalds drive threw he gives this speech about how he ordered 3 double cheeseburgers and 3 friends and when he got home he realized he didnt have any double cheeseburgers so the lady starts apologizing and says we will have those ready for you in a minute sure and he goes yeah get me a water wth that to so after that we are all just thinking it was amazing hes like wanna hit up taco bell im still hungry so we go threw that drive threw he does the same thing but replaces double cheeseburger with taco supreme and they fucking gave us 3 taco supremes for free so after that we head to target where they have that little food area he goes right up to the counter and says i ordered 3 pretzels and 3 pizzas and when i got home there was no pizzas so the lady hands him 7 dollars and then we baked his tent EDIT* not really a mistake but a worthy story
Damn... So i got home from work today, and my dealer gave me a nice nug for free. I will buy some of him later though. Anyway, i pack bowl after bowl, and that shit is orgasmic. Like the sort of weed that makes you sweat and your nose drip after you take a huge ass hit because you get high so fast. After a while i notice that i have a severe case of munchies. So i fly into the kitchen, and put some pizapops in the microwave, time is 2:30. I thought "mhhh 2 minutes, might as well brush your teeth and stop brushing when the food is ready........... GOOOD IDEA!". Anyway, so i went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I have an electric toothbrush, so i sit down to brush. I kinda started to zone out while brushing, and when the microwave was done i noticed that i drooled all over my self and the battery of the toothbrush long died. Weird i though, took a swig of water and went to get my food. There was smoke in the kitchen, and i just thought "who the fuck is blazing in here?". The pizzapops were somehow reduced to nothing but black carbon on the plate. This made me trip out so bad. I had to figure out what the fuck was going on. I thought the microwave was broken and nuked another pizzapop for 2:30 and it came out just fine. I knew something SO FUCKING OBVIOUS was standing right in front of me, but i could just not make sense of it all. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I must have put the food in the microwave for 23:00 and not 2:30, and zoned out brushing my teeth for over 20 minutes, and the food got anihliated Damn, i was so faded for the rest of the night... I felt like such a fucking stoner, but i called my guy and ordered an oz more
I was trying to text my buddy, and I needed the letter C. I hit the button 1000 damn times and it wouldnt come up. I didnt know what letters were coming up bc all I looking for was C. And it would not come up. For like 5 minutes straight I hit the 3 key (letters def) repatedly trying to find C and got so frustrated i started yelling at my phone "C DOES NOT EXIST! WHAT THE FUCK AT YOU PHONE!?"
okay... so my cellphone is an oldschool razor. in my contacts list, some names are listed with two or three separate contact numbers (home, mobile, work). well, whichever contact number you last used for any given person, that's the one that stays as default in your contacts list until you change it. well, i changed my friend's contact to "home" because he wasn't answering his cellphone. i got a hold of his mom and asked if she knew where he was... she said no blah blah blah. so like an hour later i'm high as fucking nuts and i decide i'm gonna try calling my buddy again. not thinking twice about how my phone works, i went into my contacts list and hit the send button on his name. a couple rings later, he picks up. he sounded a little funky... not like he usually sounds. i figured it was just reception or the phone or something. i asked him if he wanted to chill and if he had any weed. he responded "who is this?" i was a little confused... it only took me a brief moment to realize that it absolutely couldn't have been him that i was talking to. there's no way he wouldnt recognize my voice / know my number. i promptly hung up the phone... i had accidentally called his house... and talked to his dad about hanging out and weed. i got him in trouble and in order to make myself feel better about being such a dumbass and getting him screwed, i confronted his dad face to face and explained that it was me on the phone. that was probably the worst part of the mistake to be honest, because then i got banned from his house and that's where i chilled and got drunk all the time.
The other night, I had a bowl before bed. but before I went to sleep, I set (or tried to) my alarm clock to 12pm, so that I don't sleep all day. I woke up, and saw that my clock said 6:28pm. I started freaking out cuz I had to be at work at 6pm. So then I start thinking: 'how the hell did I sleep that long and why the fuck is it so bright outside?'. I reached for my cell to call my job, and saw that it was really 9:38 AM. My lesson from this? Don't mess with your alarm clock when stoned.
It's 8:40pm and we are 2 Sour Dez blunts in. My cousins and I are at the light rail station on our way to see a movie that starts at 9:15pm. My cousin turns to me and says: "Yeh we'll prolly get there at like 8:65." I was like WTF. Could not stop laughing.
one time i got really stoned and was taking a shit and looked down And saw my dick and thought it looked nice so i took a picture and sent it to my gf just being stupid, and so the next day my friends mom calls me and says so is that your penis? apparently i sent it to her instead cause her name is right below my girls, but w/e she was cool about it she knows i smoke and has smoked with me a couple times and she is going threw a divorce so she said i gave her the most action in a while
Broke into a busted grow house to see if there was anymore bud. Got the cops called. My friends were a** holes to the owner. Then parents got called and i got in major trouble. (was only 16 at the time)