Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by PheenixTears420, Aug 7, 2008.

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  1. Came home one night ripped with my eyes red as hell and stank like weed. As im walking to the front door i kept saying "Unlock the door, turn off the light, Unlock the door, turn off the light"

    As soon as i got to the door i unlocked the door fine but for some reason i rang the doorbell. Me being ripped, i started laughing histerically for about 5 minutes well my mom just gave me that "i know your ripped" look and went into her room.
  2. so last night at around one in the morning im ripped, and i got the munchies. i decide to make myself a bacon egg and toast samich. we just got a new microwave so i decide to test that shit out. i put the bacon in make the rest of the shit then i took the bacon out, made about 6 pieces. one is burnt as fuck but i still kinda wanna try it so i shove the hot piece in my mouth. not only did i burn the shit outa my mouth but the nasty ass bacon tasted like charcoal. i freaked out, opened the fridge and chugged a half gallon of milk. lol everything else tasted amazing though
  3. *Poured a gallon of milk down my pants to cool me off..damn that was refreshing...
    * Crashed friends car into firehydrante and called his parents out to show them how cool it looked.
    *Smoked a pencil thinking it could get me high* Awkward Phase*
    * Broke somones car window thinking he had one of my peices but it was one of his*I like that one its funny*.
    *And tried to light my friends bong across a room with a flaming paper plate.. Didnt work and he got hurt.... enough said..

    Few of many fukin awsome shit ive done mistakingly....:smoke::smoke::smoke::smoke:
  4. My worst mistake:
    Stealing money to support a habit. I'm not talking just $20 here and there, i'm talking breaking into my highschools' band room and stealing all the money that the kids had turned in for the trip. In the end, I was never caught, and they canceled the trip. To this day, I still feel like a douche for it, because I was too lazy to actually get a job and earn my keep, so I just took it from others who obviously had. DON'T STEAL SHIT!
    Bad karma can, and will, come back to get you, and chances are it will be twice as hard as you gave out.
  5. Okay, so I'm a new stoner right, I started smoking this june, but the very first time I got STONED I made the worst mistake of my life heh heh...

    You see, I usually smoke with my cousin and her friends (none of my friends smoke and get pissy whenever I mention pot) so the first time I smoked with her and her friend's it was around 9 P.M.-ish and her mom was at work, we decided to smoke "hotbox" style in my dad's car, so after a few puffs each, I start tripping so badly, that I couldn't stop my lower jaw from twitching (it was like super-twitching or something weird) so after a few minutes I start hitting on one of my cousins friends, I really don't remember much, we all fall asleep in the car, a hour later I wake up when my cousin slaps me

    Apparently I was so baked, that I wasn't hitting on one of her friends, I was hitting on her :eek: :(

    Yea, the worst mistake ever lol, I don't even remember it, this is all what she told me
  6. Shoulda made her turn trick bro. I know several females that love to do all that when blazed. Was she ugly? Was that the worst mistake? Lol :p
  7. Sorry for the DP, but I'm a little baked and just re-read your post. Did you mean that you accidentally hit on your cousin?!?
  8. Yea haha I'm a lightweight :smoke:

    I don't think I'll ever top that mistake
  9. Thats awesome. Hitting on your cousin, No shame though bro, You were blazed just call it funny and move on haha.

    I do stupid shit all the time, One time had the munchies so bad drove to BK late at night dark as fuck. I thought it was raining pretty bad so my windshield wipers are going full blast. Pull up to the drive through window wipers still going...Even made a comment to the lady "Its coming down pretty bad out here" and she smiled and looked at me funny. I thought nothing of it...Turns out after I ate my shit in the lot and got out to throw my shit away, It wasent raining at all. Infact it was a beautiful night...Felt like an idiot.
    • Like Like x 1

  10. thats one of the funniest things ive ever read hahahaha:hello:
  11. so my friends dad blazes and he always gets really high quality bud from one of his friends. 3 of us bought tickets to see the new batman movie and had to be there in 20 mins (15 mins away) but we had to get high first. it was out first time actually blazing with him and he was really chill. so we get done our session and im absolutely baked out of my mind, and the previews started 5 mins ago. of course i get stuck driving and im hallucinating the whole way to the theater. everytime my friend spoke i pictured him as a dinosaur hatching from an egg and making squawking noises and im flipping out at this point. we went down a narrow road and a biker was coming towards us in the pitch black and i came no more than 3 feet away from railing him head on in my SUV. im shitting my pants and asked my friends "if i actually killed him, would you guys promise to not tell on me? this movies supposed to be really good..." we lost it at this point and we ended up making it to the movies alive and ON TIME...dont ask me how.
  12. I discovered this thread during a week long ban, so I had plenty of time to come up with my worst stoned mistakes. I'm gonna lead with number 1. Me and my friend were headin from my house up to my apt at school. I've driven this route plenty of times before and never had a problem. So I get into York, and of course we're a blunt into the trip, and I miss the exit for 83N. However, right after that is the exit for 81N, which is headed towards hazleton. I think to myself, I've heard of Hazleton, I'm still going North, I'll be cool to take this for a while and then get off once I'm near state college, so I take that exit and light up another blunt for the ride. Turns out Hazleton is 2-3 hours away from state college, and to top that, my friend's collection of notebooks flew out the window on the way there (I don't remember how this happened) so we had to back up the interstate on the shoulder looking for them in the pitch black. 2.5 hour trip ends up taking about 6 hours. Another good one, back when I was dealing, I took a trip out to my old school, and thought, fuck it, I'm gonna go crazy, so I rolled 4 blunts prior to leaving, a whole pack of grape dutchies. I smoke 2 back to back right after I leave, get to Gettysburg about 30 minutes away from my house, and all of a sudden I can't feel my feet to push the gas or brake, so I coast over to the side of the road to wait it out until I feel comfortable driving again, needless to say I waited to blaze the other 2 until I got there. I'm gonna stop here before I get arrested for consistently DUI.
  13. HAHAHAHA!! Reminds me of when my 2 buddies decided to go fishing at about 11pm lol... We had to drive about an hour and a half to the lake (that nobody knew exactly where it was, just an area) and we think we're heading in the right direction... We have a 30 back bud heavy, and a good amount of weed... We're just drinking some beers and smoking blunts the whole drive...
    Suddenly We hear this enormous THUD on the windshield... Apparently the driver had RAN INTO A FUCKING OWL!!! He hit a goddamn OWL on the highway!!! We all started to freak - HOLY SHIT DUDE WHAT WAS THAT?!?! It was a goddamn owl! You hit a fucking owl!!
    Bad omen....
    Well somehow we never found our way to the lake and 6 1/2 hours later we arrive back at his place, everyone tired as hell and just happy to be alive.... Without getting pulled over too :smoking:
    We never did find that damn lake...

    How many people can say they ran into an owl on the highway? Not many my friends, not many... :cool:
  14. I left a bag of about an eighth of weed in it under my futon for about 3 days. Found it this morning. My brain becomes unfunctional when Im high:smoking:
  15. double post - this phrase is fucking hilarious
  16. One time I was blazed as shit, I was going 2mph down a empty street. Some neighbor was backing up into the road and I hit his truck... AT 2MPH. I even though the speed limit was 35mph I ended up having the right of way and the cops said it wasn't my fault. Got a fucking huge dent in my car though
  17. I'd like to think I keep my shit safe from getting found from family members, but the dumbest thing I've done stoned was leave a bowl out on my couch for over a day. How it wasn't found, I have no idea.

    After you smoke, just keep your shit together long enough to put everything away :)
  18. That's definitely true. But my worst stoner mistake was this summer. My favorite spot to go smoke a bowl with a couple of friends, and it is right next to a pretty large stream. Well, we got some really high quality bud from one of my friend's brother. I had just lit my second bowl, when I could've sworn I saw a hippo, on the other side of the stream, so I started yelling to my friends that we should catch it. They had no idea what I was talking about, so I got pissed and told them I would go catch it myself. At that point I got a running start, mind you I still had a fresh bowl, that I had only took one hit from, and I tried to jump the stream. I ended up not even making it halfway across, and I also found out it was only about a foot deep. I also lost my bowl, and that madd good weed. :mad: Dumbest thing to date.
  19. I live with my parents, rolled a j because i was bored to smoke it later in the week so i put it in my jean pocket that i hang behind my door of my room. I was sick during that week so i couldn't smell anything. Three days later when i walk in my room and i can finally smell i realize my whole room reeked of weed the whole time... but i never got caught :p
  20. Well my bro hooked me up with some real dank weed. So I wake up and deciede to smoke a bowl.
    I Noticed there was a wasp in my House. I opened the door and whisteled for it leave.

    That was quite possibly the dumbest thing I did when stoned.
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