Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

i stayed out for 7 hours smoking weed hahaha. i came home and fukcing wanted to whack off so i started too and i passed out when i was doing it. i woke up naked. haahhhhhha

 

Okay, so I've got few different stories, here it goes.

It was the night before 4/20 and me and my buddy Russ phoned up our other friend J. and set up a blaze sesh for 4:20am. So the time has come, we head over to j.'s house. It's 4:20am so we celebrate with some bong rips. J. had a really nice 3ft bong, can't really describe it, but you're just gonna have to trust me that it was tight. We hit J.'s bong along with ours and when we were nice and blazed, we decided to bust out the hot-knifes. We are all sitting on the floor of J.'s garage, and Russ leans towards J. to serve him a toke, he moves his arm holding the torch backwards, knocking over J.'s bong which was sketchilly placed right behind him. The neck smashed in half, and we all just sat there in disbelief. We took the rest of the bong to a concrete barrier and blew it up. That was pretty dope. In the end, Russ felt horrible about what he did so he payed him back for the bong. It was a tragic beginning to our 4/20, but luckily the rest turned out to be awesome.

This next story takes place on the same 4/20: My whole group of friends was downtown at centennial square (we live in Victoria, BC..... great bud) celebrating like a good bunch of stoners. It was nearing 4:20pm, but a few of my friends decided to go to McDonalds down the street - not realizing the time - to get some munch. They took too long munching out and missed the 4/20 countdown. Needless to say, they were all pretty bummed. Something else funny about this is that McDonalds had to play white noise at a high volume near the doors to disperse all of the stoners, haha.

The next story takes place in the woods near my house. We were all chilling at this one spot, blazing. Now one of our friends named Vince is really dumb, like astonishingly. To a point where my brain hurts when I try and listen to him. But anyways, for some reason Vince put a cardboard box over his head, then proceeded to blindly walk off of a 17-foot cliff into a river. Everyone started to laugh, then we made sure he was ok, lol.

I have created a room underneath the deck in my backyard by putting up 3 walls and a door. There's 4 couches in there, sound system, tv, etc.. it's where everyone comes to chill and blaze it up. We call it "The Deathstar
. But yeah, I was having this dope sesh with around 8 people, everyone had their own joint. This just hotboxed the shit out of the Deathstar, and I didn't realize it at the time, but there's this big hole in the wall in there leading to the house that was used for a dryer hose. Apparently we had danked up the whole house! My mom was running all over the house trying to get rid of the smell with air freshener. I didn't get in trouble or anything, just got yelled at.

Got a few more but I'll save them for another time.

 

me and my friend smoked two fat blunts then walked home from a party in the other town it is a 30 min walk but it took us 2 and a half hours because we thought we saw a cop following us so we ran into the woods got lost then kept walking in circles for 2 hours

 

During lunch me and two buds went into one of the buses that chill behind the school during the day to light a few bowls up. We were hunkered down and passin the pipe low so no one would see us. Well Danielle brought a soda, and as she's taking a sip, Becky suddenly squawks out "Teabags!" in this geeky, British voice. Danielle spurts coke out her nose and right into Becky's open mouth! I laughed so heard I fell off the seat. Well a teacher saw the bus rockin around and she came to get us in trouble. I saw her comin and I was all like "Bail!" and I scrambled out the fire escape at the back with Danielle on my heels. Becky freaks out, turns and spits the coke in a arc and hits the vice principal in the middle of her white blouse! She cries "Teabags!" again as the woman stands there drenched and pissed off, and books it out the fire door.
Now, every time we see her, we whisper "teabags" under our breath and watch her turn red.

 

I just spent 15 minutes reading about cfl in the grow section, not knowing why the fuck they were talking about lights and I was trying soo hard to understand what watts had to do with canadian footbal, then i finally clued in that i wasnt in the sports thread..

 

So my stoner friend and I have come to the conclusion that "God" is really science. The earth is like a being itself, and science is kind of like the bible.
Me: So...then what's with the platypus?
Alex: ....
Me: (Being funny) Maybe he's adopted!
Alex: (Totally serious) Maybe Mother Nature didn't like his attitude.
Me: Dude. You really need to get laid.
Alex: ...
Me: Not by me.
Alex: You brought it up.
Me: Platypus?
Alex: ...yeah.

It's sad people!

 

what little beach town did you go to? i live in one that is next to the st.joe/benton harbor area if you know where that is

 

i nearly killed myself and a friend once.

we had taken my car to a spot near my neighborhood to toke up. it was a new housing development that hadn't put pavement down yet, so it was all dirt. it had been snowing the day before and some of it had melted, creating a lot of slippery mud which caked itself to my tires. at the time i drove a little subaru legacy, it had old tires and this was before all subarus were all wheel drive.

so we're blazed and it's time to leave, i pull out to the intersection and need to make a left. well my slippery tires weren't cooperative and lost traction, causing me to head straight for a ditch on the right side of the road. i yank the steering wheel to the left and get the car to miss the ditch, except i overcorrected, and now my car is fishtailing on the wrong side of the road.

and i didn't even see the mack truck heading straight for us. i instinctively go right again, manage to miss the truck in a head on collision, but now there's no way to avoid the ditch so in we go.

it all happened in a split second, i didn't even have time to panic. there was a lot of honking and the sound of tires spinning wetly in mud.

we just look at each other, laughed and was like 'holy shit we almost died.' it did take some effort to get my front wheel drive car out of the ditch though.

 

A friend of mine shit himself. we were all just chiefing and smelt something. Couldnt figure out where the smell was coming from, and then he started laughin and we figured it out. Matt had shit himself, literally.

 

I guess my worst mistake was to go to McDonalds... It was me and two of my other friends. We go through the drive-thru and I dont even remember what everyone ordered. But all the sudden the lady was like "Your total will be $53.95" and we're all like WTF. So we just drove off and came back through. Then our total came to like $25 and we still didnt know what was going on but we paid for it.

Then we realized we forgot drinks, so we are outside the local Wal Mart looking for a pop machine. Well all 3 of us couldnt decide what to get. So after we get our drinks we get back in the car and realize we were standing in front of that machine for 35 minutes, no joke. I have no idea what happened that night but I had fun.

 

Dumbest thing i've done while stoned?

Well, when I was younger I was walking around the mall collecting job applications and filling them out as I was doing so. I went into one store and asked for an app, the manager handed me one and I pulled my pen out of my pocket, just to watch two dime bags accidentally fall out as well.

I politely said "I think you'll probably want this back". They took back the app and I left.

One of those things you just kind of had to be there for, I guess.

 

I guess the dumbest thing ive done is i was at my bro's house and i smoked like 4 bowls of some mids in the bathroom. Then 15 minutes later after my bro told me he had some good white widow and wanted to know if i wanted to smoke, so i go in his room with him and he put it in his home made bong he made from a glass flower vase and he toked it then passed it to me. I havent used a bong in a very long time so I hit the bong too but i start to choke and coughed in the bong which made the weed in the bowl which was one big cherry fly behind the tv. My bro was pissed and was like dude u never cough into a bong man. We shrugged it off and packed the bowl again and started taking bong hits and like 10 minutes later we smell something burning, i suddenly remember about the cherry that shot behind the tv and looked behind it. The cherry burned a hole in the carpet so I moved the tv and stompped it out. Then we just sat there laughing about it.

 

wow nebraska sucks

 

Ok now this wasent me but its a friend of mine. We were getting baked in my back yard, me and a group of my friends when one disapears. We dont think anything of it, but after a while we decide to look for him. We find him down the street sitting next to a fire hydrant, this is where it gets good:
Me:dude what are you doing
him: Im talking to this girl i really like her man.
Mei didnt have time to argue with him we were right next to the street in somone elses yard) Ok but we got to go
Him: I love her man, see i gave her my grandfathers necklas, were gona get maried.
Me: thats nice now lets go
He stands up and looks at the hydrant: Lets go........
I said lets go!
(heres where it gets good, my friend gets pissed and bitch slaps this fire hydrant and breaks his hand)

Ahhh that was great...i mean it sucked for him but i was laughing my ass off.

 

Hahah dude I think I've seen that one before

 

hahaha it was such a messed up movie

 

My mistake was not realizing whether "bubb" meant bubbler or bub, like your friend. I'm still a bit confused.

 

dude.
that sucks.
lol.