heres a few stoner jokes i found: Two stoners are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls. One says to the other i sure wish i could do that. The other stoner says you better get to know him better first. Two stoners were walking and saw a fly on a pile of crap. One stoner says to the other- Wow he had to go bad. "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!" A hippie was walking down the street one day when a pixie pounced on him. "Today is your lucky day!" said the pixie. "I'm gonna give you two wishes. What will the first one be?" The hippie thinks for a moment and then says, "I want a never-ending joint." So the pixie snaps his fingers and there is this king-sized joint. The hippie jacks it up and starts puffing. After five hits the joint is still the same length. Next the pixie says, "...And number two?" The hippie replies, "This is so cool man! Gimme another one!"
a stoner walks into 7 11 and goes up to the clerk and asks got any weed the clerk says no the next day the stoner comes back and asks the clerk again and says got any weed the clerk says if you ask me again ill nail your feet to the ground and kick your ass the next day the stoner comes back and asks the clerk got any nails? the clerk says we do not sell nails at this store and the stoner says got any weed
a stoner was walkin down the street and sees a really bloody guy and the guy says call me an ambulance and the stoner says okay your an ambulance this guy walks into a bar and ordered 2 quadruple vodka the bartender says you must have had a hell of a day the guy says i found out my dad is gay the guy comes in the next day and ordered the same drink the bartender says what happened today the guys says i found out my brother is gay and he comes back the next day and orders the same drink and the bartender says does anyone in your family like women the guy says ya my wife i have a shit load more jokes but to damn lazy too type them all out ill do some more tommorrow