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Stoned Quotes

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by Lilith999, Feb 11, 2003.

  1. Ok, we've all been there when you or one of your friends is completely baked and they utter the most hilarious/inane thing you've ever heard...so what was it?

    Post you stoned quotes (by you or someone you know, not music and movies and such) HERE:


    "Nothing says I'll eat your soul like spiders." -A.W.
     
  2. A friend of mine and me were listening to a radio program about legalization. He called them up and said "Smoking pot never afec....afecte...........afected me any!" He would turn his head to the side each time he said afec.
     
  3. I forget all my random stoner quotes...that shows how much of an actual stoner I am !
     
  4. ah heres some

    "I dont want to acheive immortality through my work, I want to acheive it through not dieng."
     
  5. I heard this one while watching the Sopranos on Dvd the other night.

    "They say that no two peopel in the world are alike, but how do they know. i mean how do they really know that no two people are alike? It would be tough, you would have to get everybody in the world all together in one big room and take fingerprints and pictures of everybody...."

    I thought that was true stoner wisdom.

    Here are a couple of mine that I have written down:

    "Is Grateful Dead stoner music? Yeah , because I didn't start listening to them until I started getting stoned."
     
  6. yea man i forget all my good ones too
     
  7. that is the thing about stoner quotes, if you don't write them down chances are they are lost.

    although once when we were stoned we came to the conclusion that jesus was a tree hugger, unfortunatly i don't remember how we came to that conclusion so i can't back it up.
     
  8. Attached Files:

  9. "We're Glued" - referring to my sister and i swinging on these swings... we were going back and forth at the same height at exactly the same time, so we thought we were glued together... what made it worse was we couldn't stop and ended up doing it for like 20 minutes.

    "There's 3 lines stuck to the sky" - a friend of mine was looking up all baked, saw 3 powerlines and thought they were stuck in the sky

    "I got the cottons like crazy" - again... all baked, out of nowhere my friend goes "I got the cottons like crazy" i just start laughing my ass off, and that's where i got my user name and sig. from. :D

    "Heifferspank!" - have no clue what it means. my friend and i were playing scrabble stoned and decided to just make up words. this was one of his. lol.
     
  10. "I am bombini"

    i dont know what i was talking about but it made since at the time???? someone had to point it out that i had just said it because i didnt really notice...
     
  11. first time i got stoned, my friend s mom picked us up from a friends house and brought us to La señorita
    i said: "Im gonna get the all you can eat taco platter......... AND IM GONNA EAT IT ALL!!!"
    also i was at a hockey tournament in a hotel with a bunch of kids from my team, we were all pretty ripped and we walked by a room with an open door, and inside a woman says to her husband "I heard they were gonna be smoking marijuana" my friend sticks his cashed ass head in the doorway and goes "HOORAY FOR CHARLOTTE" smiles at her and we just kept on walkin laughin our asses off
     
  12. i think that my most favorite one was when we were chillin in my friends brothers bathroom, about 6 of us minus my friend joe... when all of a sudden (after 3 bowls) the rich kid said 'hey weres joe' and the kid next to him said "i dunno, but we should smoke a blunt with him" and the rich kid said" wy dont we smoke joe in a blunt' which to us high kids was fucking funny... and still is...
     
  13. Here's my second one from above.

    Riding in Nashville with one of my oldest buddies driving and i go on a rant about how scared i get to drive when stoned. I talk about dnagerous it is with cars and cops everywhere and how bad the traffic is and how crazy all these drivers are, just nonstop and he start screaming at me to shut the hell up because I'm making him paranoid about driving.
     
  14. ...I just found some quotes that I actually WROTE DOWN!!! wow...

    "Sometimes you ARE the last of your species." -A.W.
    (in reference to some dinosaur cartoon)

    "With a name like Sparkoweaver, its gotta be juicy on the inside." -A.W.
    (During a D&D game...you'd have to be there)

    "My friend thinks gravy is erotic. I dunno whether he's insane, or a cannibal." - B.


    "Fuck anything that doesn't make a tone!" -E. A.
    (in reference to a tuning fork)
     
  15. Well me and one of my college buddies were out and about smoking a few bowls when whe got supremely lost. We were both terrified because we had bee driving around for like an hour and a half without seeing a house. When all of a we came up upon a fire station and i exclaimed " There's a fire station! Do you know where fire stations are? There in towns. Do you know where towns are? IN DENSLEY POPULATED AREAS!" After this we were both real mellow and eventually found our way home.


    Yeah i know a long work up for a single quote. Well hopefully you feel it was worth it.
     
  16. WELL HELLO EVERYBODY.... WE HAVE A FEW STONER QUOTES FOR YA!

    MY EX WAS GAY, SO HE HAD THE FEM TALK TO HIM. HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY... I HAVE ONE OF THOOSE TOO, IN THE MOST REDICULOUS TONE. MAYBE YOU HAD TO BE THERE, MAYBE NOT. BUT IF YOU WERE IM SURE YOU WOULD HAVE LAUGHED UR ASS OUT OF YOUR SEAT!!

    IN OTHER CASES WHERE WE'RE HIGH AND LAUGHING, WE ARE ALWAYS IMITATING CHEECH AND CHONG"UP IN SMOKE" THAT MOVIE IS HILARIOUS! IF YOUVE SEEN IT YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT... IF NOT, GO GET IT!!!

    ""I DONT CARE HOW GAY YOU ARE.... AND I DONT CARE HOW STUPID YOU ARE.... YOU'RE BOTH MY BROTHERS AND I LOVE YOU GUY!!! "" - CORKY ROMANO ;)
     
  17. WE HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS LIKE A TOTAL SURFER DUDE... WE CALL HIM "CHYEA-DUDE", THATS ALL HE EVER SAYS!

    MY SISTER HAS A THING FOR SAYING CHYEA-BUDDY WHEN SHES HIGH

    ONE NIGHT WHILKE HIGH OFF OUR ASSES WITH MOM.... WE CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT OUR UNIVERSE IS IN AN OVEN... MY SISTER JUST POPED UP AND YELLED, " OH MY GOD~ WE LIVE IN AN OVEN!!!"
     
  18. This is so perfect, i have been keeping a document of all my "funny quotes" for years, and since becoming a bit of a pothead there are tons lol... heres a few, and for all your tokin up right now im sure youll laugh :)
    "Is my door open?" "No." "Is it closed?"
    "That'd proba-ba-bly be good... That was too many bubbas, wasnt it?"
    "I quit until the next time I smoke."
    "Im such a stonehead!"
    "This is your drugs on brain."
    "Drugs- the healthy alternative to crime."
    "Its like Alice in Landerworld!"
    "Have you accepted weed as your savior?"
    "We could make frosting! Just powerdered sugar.. and something... and something... and there you have it!"
    "Weve been really symbolic and stuff!"
    "Im sofa high!"
    "When I breathe I can feel it in my brain!"
    "What the what, what, are you... what? What did I just say!?"
    Yes, I hit an all time low with that last one...
     
  19. i lost my train of thought in the middle of a sentence once and i just sat there saying 'and an a'... for 7 minutes..hilarious
     

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