Still Alive

So..ive been gone from gc for a long long time..been moving around alot..riding by bike and hanging out with a group of bikers..ive been free for a while..livving the outlaw life is something ive always loved..ive enjoyed the freedom..

but recently got into an altercation..and was stabbed an inch below my lung..peirced my sternum..i nearly lost my life..the things i saw when i thought my life was ending..i dont think i could ever really speak of..i had a severe recovery..it was hard..and suicide was running through my head..

now i have two wounds that cause chronic pain in my body..no matter what i do or how hard i try..i will never be without pain..

for a long time i wanted to end it all..i cant even really ride anymore..the one thing that brought my freedom..

but my physical therapy is over..thank the goddess..things are getting better..back to working..moved back home..spending more time with my son..who is growing up so so fast..but i havent posted on gc..for many reaosns..i have a huge hearbreak on here..gc changed and shaped my life more than i care to admit..in many ways negative..so i stayed away..hoping the pain in my heart would fade away eventually..i have tried filling that pain with drugs..meaningless sex..fighting..money..nothing does it..

but i have recently had one of those moments of clarity..and im working hard of finding my lifes calling..instead of treading water and just wasting moments

i love this place..gc..will forever be my second home

 

thanks tiff..ill always take positive vibes

 

thanks mush..im glad blades always got my back..