edit: i suppose this may belong in real life stories? idk, but its here now so....cool for the last 5 years i have been WAY to lazy. sitting around at home watching tv, playing video games, not being nearly social enough, stopped pretty much all forms of physical exercise for various reasons (honestly, a lot were logical reasons, but im not going into it as its irrelevant) and overall feeling like shit. somewhere along the line i got stuck in a rut and wouldnt do anything new or unfamiliar; it scared me. i dont know why, but the unknown scared me. than sophomore year i discovered marijuana. it got me a little more outgoing, but i was a lazy person, and marijuana is not good for lazy people. now all my activities from the first paragraph got to a whole new level. i wouldnt want to do really anything that would be at all physically strenuous. this all manifested its self into a person that pretty much hates life, but does a very good job of lying to himself that everything's alright. well, i took 3 drops of a mystery substance for the first time last week, and the full weight of this came crashing down on me in about 2 hours. since than, i have since made some commitments that have already improved my life. 1) i have stopped smoking for the time being. i love marijuana, but considering my current situation its not currently good for me. i fully intend on starting up again when im confident i wont get lazy. 2) while at National outdoor leadership school (took a semester in the pacific northwest. 80 days of sea kayaking, rock climbing, backpacking, and sailing) i discovered my passion for rock climbing, so i am starting to get really into that. i am NOT going to stop because its "to hard" the reason i love it so much IS because its so hard. 3) i have always wanted to join the army (please dont get all righteous on me about this) but i was to scared to do it because of epically low self confidence. now, im working on my self confidence, running everyday and going to climbing gyms when i can to get in shape. its exhausting, but i already feel way better. it may not have translated into writing, but i feel fantastic about myself as of the current moment. i have felt like shit for the last 5 years, so the feeling of finally doing something, and that im going to be in the army soon, makes for one extremely happy individual. i get all warm and fuzzy thinking about it. if you read through this all, i thank you.