Starting Over

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by hazyyjane, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. Blahh where to start.
    (TL;DR at the end)

    Lately, I've been feeling like a loser/social pariah. My situation is this: I'm a senior in college, and last year, most of my buddies and all of my good friends graduated or moved away. I still have a few people to hit up when I want to go out, but my real family here is gone.

    Planning out nye festivities reminded me of this...I decided to go to a bar event (not my scene) with an old friend I've been hanging out with lately, instead of the concert that, if my group from last year were around, I would definitely be attending.

    The combination of that, losing touch with people I considered "casual friends," and my general homebody tendencies, have started to make me worry that the problem is me and my personality. I had such a built in support system before, and it's like I've forgotten how to start over and really connect with people.

    To top it off...I haven't gotten laid in a hot second. I hit a dry spell before my friends left, and it's sort of been going on for what feels like forever now. People tell me I'm pretty all the time, and I think I have an okay body. Not fat, but I'm not getting on any runways anytime soon. I've been working out a lot for the past month or so, and am starting to get into shape and gain all of the endorphins/confidence that come with it. I'm tall for a girl, too, which has always made dating tricky.

    Until a few weeks ago I was so distracted by school that I didn't stress about this all too much, but being on winter break has made me really question how I got to this point.

    I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, I guess your reactions or any advice you think might be helpful.

    TL;DR: Been a homebody since my friends moved away a few months ago...worried that I'm really a friendless loser because my personality blows.
     
  2. Sounds like you're at least a decent looking human of the female gender...There is no problem.
     
  3. What are you studying? I'm sure you'll remember how to make friends. You can be my friend. We'll be gc buddies haha.
     
  4. everyone goes through this stuff, I'm going through exactly what youre feeling right now and it sucks.

    But I know it will pass eventually, so I try to take my mind off of things to give a relax from all the unnesecary anxiety
     
  5. Ya that's pretty much exactly what I'm going through, I think it has to do with lack of confidence and imaginary boundaries.
     
  6. I'm a Junior in college and I'm kinda going through the same thing but its getting better. Just try to go out and have fun at least. I'm pretty sure you'll meet a decent guy that's worth talking to.
     
  7. If you have enough insight to recognize your problems n shit all you really have to do is address them, try your best to deal with it and move on. The key is to really figure out who the fuck you are, how you do things, why, etc. and then completely structure your life around your strengths.

    For example, i absolutely love making people laugh and laughing myself, and i felt like i wasnt doing it enough as i could of...My solution? Give even less of a fuck then i did yesterday...Everyday. It's been a long road..
     
  8. I am so glad I'm not the only one who thought that!
     
  9. lol friends... don't seek acceptance outside of yourself or you will never be content with who you are. If you aren't content with who you are, it will show. Just be you, live your life, and let things come naturally. If friendships don't manifest, it's nothing to do with who you are but how you perceive yourself. If you are true to yourself, true friends will come along, you just have to be patient.
     
  10. Shit....wait until you're my age and everyone you know is married and having kids leaving no time for you their friend.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. I'm already there since most of my friends got hitched and knocked up by 20. No fucking thank you.
     
  12. Post up a pic and ill let ya know if I wanna throw you a bone or not
     
  13. Dont bother trying to judge, label, and condemn your life situation atm.Dont even give attention to it in your thoughts. There is nothing wrong with your personality. How could there be? You can only be who you are and if it were different then it wouldnt be you. Some people are easier to converse and spend time with. Find those people
     
  14. That orange guy pretty much said it better than me.

    "if you aren't content with who you are, it will show" too true trust me i noticed it about my self

    and

    " If you are true to yourself, true friends will come along, you just have to be patient."

    your mind will always want a reason. an answer, some closure to why something is not going your way in life. The only honest reason you probably dont have friends like that is because you have open the door to enough opportunities to meet people recently. You just have to put yourself out there, anywhere even in public. Positive energy attracts many people. Ask me how i know
     

  15. Yea... if I found someone I could trust, who I really thought might actually give a fuck.... I would like to have at least one kid.

    [​IMG]


    But that's just not meant for me....probably just get crankier the older I get. :D
     
  16. “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” -Gibson

    Seriously, I went through this phase after some of my best buds moved away. Turns out the friends I was hanging out with were just really shitty people and I was trying to impress them for the sake of having friends. Sometimes it's good to be alone, sometimes it's not. The fact that your getting sick of it just means you have to loosen up and go out, have fun. If you're afraid of what people think of you because of this, then there's another problem you should address entirely. Trust me, these things pass! We're all too young to live in the dumps.
     
  17. This was just the thread I needed to stumble into.
     
  18. Get out of your own head. Your over thinking things. You feel like you don't have enough friends? Go make some. Join a club or anything sorority or anything where you can interact with people. You said your a senior so this might be a mute point since you will be heading home soon? Btw, I have always found taller girls attractive so no need to feel like that's an issue ;)

    Sent from my iPhone 5 using GC Forum
     
  19. So many great responses and love from GC! I know I just have to put myself out there, but I don't think I ever realized how dependent I was on my friends until they left. It's hard because I don't want to come across as needy when I start to get to know someone.

    It's kind of a fresh beginning to restructure my life. It's good practice for when I graduate and move to a new city.
     
  20. Biochem. Let's be fraannddsss

    I feel like I'm constantly changing, but good advice.

    Truth.

    Nahhh
     
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