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sometimes i think..

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by 420Hazo, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. #1 420Hazo, Mar 24, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2012
    would we be happier if we were to break up.

    My girlfriend and i have have been together now for basically a year, like 15 days from one year. and the relationship started off like the dream relationship you want. perfect girl, beautiful, everyday felt like a blessing to wake up next to her. I truly fell completely in love with her, me and her did everything together, you name it, we did it. went out for dinner every friday night, if not every other friday night. it was perfect.

    the last 2 months though? flip the script, she, excuse my language, has been acting like nothing but a sour bit** every other day. i wrote a thread not long ago, and majority of the forums if not 95% told me to leave her. she doesn't show care for me when im feeling down, and she literally only thinks about herself.

    she had a major attitude problem, of which i did call her out on that would of been the ending point of our relationship, it was either she works on it or i leave. she ultimately did show she cared about staying in this relationship by changing her ways there. but now roughly a week later, we both were having kinda crappy days. she was gunna go out with friends, before she did i asked her why she feeling so down. she told me, i talked to her, she's like irritated bc its the whole women thing of (i feel fat and gross) , i helped her but she was being a little arrogant about it and acting overly immature, so i said "whatever, you never want to accept help, come to me when you do." she came back later, and said i feel fat and gross. i rolled my eyes and started talking. she then said "i dont want you to say anything." .. later, im going to bed. and i say goodnight to her. and not ONCE did she ask why im feeling like crap, why im frustrated...i have a pinched nerve in my back which is why i complain when my back hurts, and undiagnosed clinical anxiety... she forgets that.

    grasscity community..i honestly feel sometimes, would i be happier, would she be happier more over if things were to end. i honestly feel like out of every good day me and her have now, we have 2-3 irritated, bad, grumpy, cranky ones. like the reason im so afraid to break up with her, is bc im worried what if i make a huge mistake by doing that.

    and to say the least, i'd say im a pretty good looking guy. not to be cocky. but i can reel in almost any hot girl i want. again not being cocky, but i have alot of confidence. its just this girl has got my whole heart strung out for her and i dont know what to do. on one hand i love her, on the other i can't stand her bullshi* anymore, she treats me like shit. but shows care only when its our relationship on the line. i dont know if i want this anymore.

    it also just makes me cringe inside, if it comes to us breaking up, that she would be completely spiteful (its how she is) and would make status' of her with other guys, pictures of other guys, be with other guys, take naps (not doing anything, but naps) with guys.. ahh shit, drives me nuts

    any advice
     
  2. ??????????
     
  3. Sounds like she doesn't appreciate you.
    You need to think if you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you or want to communicate with you. If she never willingly asks you "How are you feeling, why...etc" then you have to be straight up with her without beating around the bush.

    So you have a back injury and you are fighting anxiety, right? People forget things all the time. Even things that are a big role in your life, they may not be the first thing she thinks about. So when you hurt don't just say that you hurt, you need to be open with her instead of making her come to you with an answer.
    Sounds like she can't initiate a conversation with you and if she's not willing to communicate how is there a relationship?

    You two have been together almost a year and honestly if she doesn't actually want to change her ways it sounds like what you have for a relationship will dwindle away, fast.

    Honestly sounds like you should just cut your losses and find someone else. Sure she might rub it in your face that she's get a new man, but that's the part where you move on and ignore her and find someone else.
     
  4. That's what happened in my last relationship.

    Started off great, couldn't have been better. Then it all fell apart for the next year and a half.

    She was queen for about an hour, then shit went REALLL sour. Ya know?
     
  5. i just feel like i keep forgiving her for shit too fast and dont realize i go through the same things over and over again. but i dont quit out because i always feel like she'll change, then she does, ill be happy, a week later same crap again
     
  6. It won't get any better on it's own....time for you to make a decision
     

  7. i honestly think im going to make one today. especially after this morning.

    last night after she showed me she didn't care. bc before she fell asleep she said "ya bye" in response to me saying, "asked u what was wrong and helped you right away. you couldn't of even shown care that i have shit of my own going. thinking bout yourself.."

    this morning, i called her just to say good morning and let her know im gunna be busy, so dont take it personally if i dont answer back right away. so i put my phone down, and take my dog on a walk, he got dirty (lil guy ran through the mud), so i give him a bath and im washing him up. literally having so much fun, i absolutely love my dog. you know lol the dog + man connection. so im herpin/derpin smiling to myself, go sit down on my computer, see my phone has 3 missed messages.


    i didnt wanna talk in the first place. sorry
    im just going to go watch my lectures for PHY 314 now
    alright w.e dont respond. i dnt have time for this

    i literally just looked at it, stared. then responded

    "i'm not gunna stare at my phone by the minute to wait for a response. grow the fuck up (name), and stop acting immature. you were completely selfish last night, and you need to realize how you act sometimes."

    she said back "i dont want to argue with you. im gunna watch my lectures."

    im fkn fed up
     
  8. Sounds like you have an answer, friend.
     
  9. i seriously think either im thinking too far

    or by constantly forgiving her and dealing with it, im almost emasculating myself and acting like a little bitc*? .. criticism accepted, am i?

    bc i know for a fact this is now the kind of guy i am. before her, i literally would rampage the streets and clubs with my boys, not giving a single fuc*
     
  10. woah nuts. my 1 year is in like 16days too. Apr 8th! Things started off great for me too. Then went to college, still together obvs. but I almost left her just because not seeing her for 2 months really made me wonder if I wanted to stay in such a relationship- especially cuz idk..parties without a woman sometimes suck and just lonely cuz we will be busy n whatnot. Difference is she loves me a lot and i realized I should not give someone up who cares for me, and would do anything for me, especially if they are very good looking.

    In your case, it sounds like the previous G.F. I had...we would have 1 great day where I am like, wow this is great. But the next 3 days would be like this sucks. And sometimes she would seem a little sketchy n stuff and just be over dramatic...and finally I realized I can do better than this, and in reality..it wont ever change..unless u guys are with eachother all the time again, then it might come together..but if thats how she is now..thats how she will be..I think you can do better and really..once you find better it is soo much better. I understand how you are still in love though and do not want to make a mistake. I guess you can make the decision now, or you can wait another month and if things keep up this way you might just do it in a month.

    Good luck to ya :smoke:
     

  11. I don't think you, or anyone for that matter is a bitch for wanting to make something work. She obviously has some qualities that you really like, or it wouldn't be hard to make a decision like this. However, you need to really think about whether her positives outweigh her negatives. By the sounds of it they don't, but we're only hearing your side of the story (I'm not saying you're lying, but we are only hearing one side of a two sided story). It seems like you given her more than enough choices. I would tell her to fuck off but that's just me. It's your relationship and your call in the end.
     
  12. Sounds like u guys need to set aside some time, sit down and talk it out.

    Odds are she feels the same way.
     

  13. dude your replaying a relationship i had. word for word. and i felt like a bitch too by forgiving so quickly. its not that your a bitch. your just putting in way too much effort into something thats wearing you out.

    your worried that your making a big mistake, but how will you ever know and grow from it if you never jump into the possibilities of making mistakes?

    go with your gut feeling, and after you make it, dont second guess yourself
    good luck my dude:wave:
     
  14. anyone else?
     
  15. Treat others like you want to be treated.
     
  16. at least your not alone.
     
  17. let us know how things work out- interested.
     
  18. she messaged me this this morning

    "im sick of everybody always putting me down. last night i got into a screaming match with (matt) cuz he kept calling me a bitch and a whore and im just done. i need one day to just be upset and not worry about anything else and i couldnt get that. one day. i tell you so many times that i dnt want ur advice thats not the way i deal with being upset but u just ignore it and decide not to listen. im sorry if that offends u but ive told u so many times thats how i am and how i deal with things i just ppl to listen to me vent and thats it. i dont want to hear anyone else talk, i just want to think the way i do for the time being. this isnt being ignorant or rude considering ive told u over and over again not to give me advice but u continue to do so ( i understand to some thats ridiculous to get irratated over but considering i told you of all people i dnt like wen people give me advice and let me think the way i want to, i thought you would understand but apparently not). as for disappearing i was at the mall till like 10:30 than i played scatagories than (matt and the guys) wanted to watch a movie and he was bitching at me about the light to my ipad. so i couldnt message u back. next time im upset im keeping it to myself "

    the time between leaving for the mall and messaging me back was 5 in the evening she left. appartenly according to her she was at the mall for over 5 hours, then watched a movie with her friends (friends of mine too, so no trust issues there) for 4 more hours.

    i replied.

    "(Jessica) i love you, you know that. im sorry i may not have been the most supportive person, you just really let your emotions at me, that it go to the point its utterly ridiculous how you act. i been having a really frustrating week lately because i got alot going on myself, test on monday, frustrating stuff with family, etc. not to take away anything from my apology. all i want is you just to be open to listening to me and just breath for once in your life, im your man why would i want to stress you out, you know im behidn your back always. but you need to show me that means something to you, you need to show me you actually care what i mean to you as a boyfriend, not just shove me aside when things go haywire."

    she replied

    "thanks. im just not in a good mood today because that argument with (Matt)"
    "i dont want advice, i just need people to listen to me and tell me what to do (... meaning she didn't want to hear my advice at all about being a better person essentially)"

    i reply

    "(Jessica) you know i listen to you, the only reason i offer help is because i care about you"

    she replies

    "dont babe"

    i reply

    "alright. play your games, its your world (Jessica), but dont expect me to part of it if you never can accept anything about yourself. from the people who love you most."

    she replies

    "i love you. i gotta get ready for the gym. ill be back in a couple hrs. thanks again though"
     
  19. dam..that last comment of hers makes no sense at all. Hard place to be. love...crazy thing. I think you handled it pretty well. It annoys me too when someone you love/care about wont accept your advice..part of being in a relationship is giving each other advice and listening to each others problems. Almost seems like shes like distancing herself or something too. Sry bro :/
     
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