Something I Wrote For School :

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by GrahamAPhone, Oct 9, 2010.

  1. Mostly to annoy the teacher.



    Cypher​




    Ring around the Rosy's Ran off with the spoon…
    -Shut up the fiddle, enough with the moos

    A rude awakening... The banging rattles my noggin, I sit erect.
    -really?
    -GET UP!!!

    I trudge out of my night time cocoon, the sweet nectar of rest hanging in my voice, my eyes... I can still hear the damn pounding.

    No hot water... my poor testicles.

    I soap, I rinse, I repeat. Don't forget to wash behind your ears.

    Why the is the towel wet...?

    I exit stage left, as my scrotum finally liberates my testicles.

    Breakfast... maybe later.


    Rain fall, I fall…
    Cradle and all...

    Im pretty critical of my writing, people always say it's good though, but idk, can I have y'alls opinions/critiques?
     
  2. I really like it. To me it appears somewhat absurdist/abstract, and I like that. You should write more like it.
     

  3. Thanks man :)
    I was going for a stream of conscience feel :)
     
  4. Yes!

    "Grasscity says i need more letters....
    SO THERE YOU GO GRASSCITY DOT COM. MORE FUCKING LETTERS. YOU HAPPY?"
     

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