Something I Wrote Awhile Back

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Sebadoh, Sep 20, 2009.

  1. #1 Sebadoh, Sep 20, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2009
    This is just something I wrote when I was sober, probably a few weeks back, basically trying to inject some humor into my boring day by making a mockery of humanity.

    I feel the need to write this because, well I like wasting people’s time, but let me get straight to my point. I would like to get it out there for all of you who apparently missed the memo last week, people are dumb. We’re often dumb as rocks, irrational and totally bat shit crazy. But fear not, my fellow man or woman, hell if I know who reads this, there is hope, as these qualities, these huge gaping airplane hangar on top of the Chrysler building flaws, are what make us human! Yes, airplane hangars and Chryslers make us human, you heard me right. By the way, these are my words. Not yours. So get off my damn paper.

    If you are still reading, then you have passed the first test, noticing that was obviously a load of bullhonky, if not and you plodded along anyway, then congratulations, you have all the charm of a chimp with borderline personality disorder, off to the institution with you. Now that those who have so rudely not followed the rules have been sent off, let us continue. First, I’d like to congratulate you, not in any sort of actually special way. I was going to try and put it some fireworks and bells and whistles but onomatopoeia is not my strong suit, nor is that Versace one I never wear because people say it makes me look like L. Ron Hubbard in a drug induced coma, I don’t see how this is possible, but it made my ass look fat anyway. By the way, this paragraph was just for the congratulations, you just wasted about 3 minutes, if this is true, then an unknown failure has occurred, please reboot your computer.
    Back to flaws or as I like to call them, punji stick pitfalls, you don’t usually see them coming and by the time you do, you’re screwed. You are also most likely about to get a disease and or infection. I hope for your sake you got the gist of that one, or a nasty surprise awaits, and it’s not Norman Mailer beating a child, as much as I know you sickos love that. I must now stop writing, I have a trip to a factory to take with Upton Sinclair, he promised me it would be “eye opening”.

Share This Page