first of all, sorry to bring down the atmosphere on a happy stoner forum recently i've been pretty depressed with my life and the choices ive made. i went out with this one girl and we had an unhealthy relationship where we were both young and made mistakes, didnt know how to treat each other, but she manipulated me and treated me like complete shit.. i got her pregnant and she had a medicinal abortion a year after that, we became friends again and had a good connection, so we went out again for two months. i wanted to see if it would work and i didnt believe it would. she treated me like shit, despite the changed, more mature person that i became. i found that we actually had a large maturity difference that i wasn't willing to cooperate with. i got her pregnant again, which i found out a month afterward (we weren't familiar with the concept that sperm from a previous ejaculation can affect precum... something i think a lot of people should know despite having good ejaculation control). we were prepared to go through with the abortion when she found out that she miscarriaged. she told me its because she would hit herself and drink until it died, which is, yes, good money-wise, but absolutely psychologically fucked. i have extreme regret about getting someone pregnant twice, or just having "two children" in a sense, even though they werent developed, and having them both killed. especially knowing she did it herself the second time. its just really fucked up, but im sure other people might have different opinions on the severity of it and since i loved this girl so much, i gave her the opportunity to change her ways after we were over this pregnancy/relationship clusterfuck. she would hang out with me ocasionally and try to be intimiate with me while showing through consistency that she could control her anger, respect me, and be more mature, act her age... because im a nice guy, you know? i think with love, not judgement. although i am very realistic i told her that i wanted to enjoy being single, since her trying to convince me to get back with her would take practically a year. and she hates this one girl, who ive been best friends with for a while (secretly having feeligns for, but neither knew), who just became single. my ex messaged her on facebook, fed her a bunch of bullshit about how im an asshole and mentioned hooking up with her or some shit, which completely turned her off from me when i finally had a chance (i could tell she was interested in me). so we're no longer friends i dont have any friends anymore. out of about 30 people, half of them were gone after high school. my other close friends who stuck behind slowly disappeared, despite myself trying to hold onto these friendships. im a very caring, appreciative person. people dont take advantage of me, but they dont appreciate what i do, it feels like. i also have a hard time relating to people because i feel like i think on such a deeper psychological level. life never used to be like this my mother babies the fuck out of me, to a ridiculous extent. i cant have a good connection with her despite how hard i try. my dad is an asshole and i dont want anything to do with him. the rest of my family is practically invisible so to sum it all up, my friends are all gone, ive got no positive connection with my family, and the only people ive ever had strong feelings for, ive had some fucked up shit happen to ruin it all in the end i don't know what to do from here. overwhelmed with college and work too, thats just the fucking end of it
That's pretty gnarly man. Keep up with college and get the fuck out of there. If you are a good person as you say you are people will be attracted to that over time.
Solution: save up money, find a job in the state you would want to move to, move to that state and start a new life. New people, new scenery, new everything. Sounds crazy
Honestly bro I can relate to a lot of the shit you're dealing with. Especially the girl situation. No matter how much I did for her I was always treated like shit, after 2 years it sucks because you're so in love with that person but they treat you like shit. I've been battling depression too, hope everything gets better for you. Just try and get away, restart! That's what I'm doing. I've been through hell this past year from addiction to depression. Shit's tough.
yeah it is tough. i havent been depressed since childhood. i have always been a happy, positive guy. hard to keep my head up right now though
Yeah that girl that's fucking with you... She's gonna be the reason you turn into a soul-less, cold hearted bastard that will have an almost impossible time expressing your feelings or even allowing yourself to allow the next girl to get close to you out of fear that she will do what this chick is doing to you right now. I'd suggest either trying to get a restraining order based on what she's done (sounds to me like various different counts of harassment), or baiting her into something that you can get a restraining order on her for (harassment probably). Either way I think you need to keep this tumor away from you before you are but a body with no soul walking around. I've seen it happen to alot of my friends and male family members. It sucks to see but I know that you're going to do what you're going to do regardless of what anyone else says, they all do. I'm just sayin you should abort this whore-fetus with the quickness, if that makes sense. The rest of that stuff... man I dont know families are very strange. I know mine is. Both sides. Family dynamics are almost always fucked up, so I don't know what to give you for advice on that one...But I will say this.. Love them. No matter what do love them, and don't become what they are. Meaning don't allow yourself to drop to that level of whatever you don't like about them. (mom babying you, dad asshole, etc.) just be you, do you, and make sure you always do what you feel is right in your heart of hearts and you should be fine. Everyone has hard times. They make the good times taste soo much sweeter!
hey bro, before i say too much about your situation, ill give you a little background about what ive gone through in the past years or so (rough summary) best friend moved away, never seen him since or spoken to him since. hes too busy with his new life to bother with keeping a connection the first true love i ever had, literally shattered my life and my world (at the time) as an act of revenge, and it took 3 years to get everything back on track the best friend i ever had, who i loved so dearly, committed suicide at 18 after that, 2 good friends remained. both now are dead, one from an accident a month ago, the other from a suicide a year ago i too, have lost connections friends, a family i cannot talk or relate to bro, there is so much more ive dealt with, but im just not going to talk about it here, as this is your thread all i can say to you is to keep your chin up, focus on school, focus on making yourself a better person, and everything will get better strive for good high marks. want them. desire them. do anything to get them. its like a drug, getting 90%+, you want more, and you want it higher each time. focus on your personal life too. make yourself attractive. maybe work on a methode of release, an instrument for example is a gift from the gods in a situation like this. practicing will help keep your mind at ease and off from feeling sad, it will help you focus, soothe and relax your mind. and, its very very good from the brain. exercise. its one of the best things for you in this type of situation. it will release endorphins and give you a more positive thinking. plus in a few months you will be even more attractive to them ladies! dont smoke lots of weed. no matter how nice it is, and how much it takes your mind off shit, its not the best methode with what you are going through right now. a few times a week at most. all that, is from personal experience with how im dealing with my shit. fuck everyone else right now. make yourself the best you can be, worry about the other people later. stay strong OP, and PM me anytime you feel the need to talk or vent the blades of GC are here for you
Bro. . . as a fellow toker and fellow being, do your time and work in college. Save up and get a job that you want, start over. You need new surroundings, don't be afraid to let things happen though. "Do things that will lead you to places you want to be."
I can relate man, but keep your head up and move past it. Also, be happy she did what she did, no matter how fucked up it was. In about 6 or so years I'm going to have a young man knock on my door asking why he was adopted and his mother and I didn't keep him. Plus you don't need a child if your still in college, it will only make the child's life harder than need be, especially if the mother is as bad as she seems.
"Shit" Happends in this dream we called life...all we rly have is ourselves and we'll blades if course! But keep going..."it gets bad b4 it gets good"
things are looking up. i've been getting on top of schoolwork and really just thinking for myself and my future. so i can't say i really give a shit about anyone who didn't give a shit about me anymore only thing that sucks now is i have to smoke my joints by myself
[quote name='"Endless Rain"']hey bro, before i say too much about your situation, ill give you a little background about what ive gone through in the past years or so (rough summary) best friend moved away, never seen him since or spoken to him since. hes too busy with his new life to bother with keeping a connection the first true love i ever had, literally shattered my life and my world (at the time) as an act of revenge, and it took 3 years to get everything back on track the best friend i ever had, who i loved so dearly, committed suicide at 18 after that, 2 good friends remained. both now are dead, one from an accident a month ago, the other from a suicide a year ago i too, have lost connections friends, a family i cannot talk or relate to bro, there is so much more ive dealt with, but im just not going to talk about it here, as this is your thread all i can say to you is to keep your chin up, focus on school, focus on making yourself a better person, and everything will get better strive for good high marks. want them. desire them. do anything to get them. its like a drug, getting 90%+, you want more, and you want it higher each time. focus on your personal life too. make yourself attractive. maybe work on a methode of release, an instrument for example is a gift from the gods in a situation like this. practicing will help keep your mind at ease and off from feeling sad, it will help you focus, soothe and relax your mind. and, its very very good from the brain. exercise. its one of the best things for you in this type of situation. it will release endorphins and give you a more positive thinking. plus in a few months you will be even more attractive to them ladies! dont smoke lots of weed. no matter how nice it is, and how much it takes your mind off shit, its not the best methode with what you are going through right now. a few times a week at most. all that, is from personal experience with how im dealing with my shit. fuck everyone else right now. make yourself the best you can be, worry about the other people later. stay strong OP, and PM me anytime you feel the need to talk or vent the blades of GC are here for you[/quote] nice words man. that shit made me feel better
disclaimer: i may have bumped this thread to troll just reading this old thread of mine, just wanted to say life has picked up a lot since then. i'm very introverted now and i don't have anyone i can call friends or at least close friends, i've adjusted to it but i'm much more social and ive made class-friends with so many people, also been working out, focusing on total independence, dealing with my issues my own ways its been good so thanks for the advice guys
Get some pills or wrap that shit up man. Then get a sheet of paper telling everyone you went to school like a good boy and get a job to build your grave. No really though, Go out and live your life! Its never too late to be happy