Some shit i wrote up for one of my ex's.

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by Fresh., Jan 3, 2007.

  1. Now TRUST me i aint all gum drops and candy... so this shit here is on some once in a while type shit. That bitch better of appreciated this shit lol.

    Your Love…filled my heart and infested it
    You took it…and left me with nothing left to give
    Never gave back…so I'm heartless now
    Embraced you with open arms…so my guard was down
    You know my weaknesses you knew alla my fears
    Love so strong…Cupid musta switched to spears
    Move on they told me…tryin' to console me
    Only when you left…you left me cold and Lonely
    This shit wasn't worth the cost in the end
    Not only did I lose my love…I also lost a friend
    You want what you can't have…that sayin' haunts me
    I guess since you already had me…you just didn't want me
    The More love I gave…the more I was betrayed
    The harder I pushed…the more you shoved away
    Sick of seein' you with them dudes…missin' you
    And since it's through…my tears won't affect you
    But this is true…my wounds will mend in time
    Your love tends to die…it's the end of mine
    Who's shoulder will you use…if I won't lend you mine?
    Ashamed of nothing but you….you gave me nothing it's true
    Tried to draw another girl into the picture…but traced another of you
    I fucked other girls…I wanted to make lovin' to you
    Wish I could change back…bein' with you in the same trap
    I loved you so I let you go…but you never Came back"
    So it's all in a song…the pain and hurt that I hold
    It's like my heartbeat is the rhythm and the words are my soul

    I made a track about it.. gotta find it... its all good though.. yall need to take this when you fighting with your chick, and say you wrote it.. thats a gaurentee pussy night for you.. trust me, lol.
     
  2. "Tried to draw another girl into the picture…but traced another of you"

    That's a nice line.

    Some of the beginning lines are cliche, which sort of deterred me at first. The meter flows decently.

    All in all it's poetic but there's a good amount of cliche, which i consider to mean that i was sort of expecting certain lines and words to be there.

    It's good though, certain lines definitely bring it to a creative level.
    Keep writing
     
  3. word is bond you got some dope lines there haha
     

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