I don't know how many of these have been said...maybe all of them have. But even if they have, why not laugh at them again? How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? A wave. A hippie was walking down the street one day when a pixie pounced on him. "Today is your lucky day!" said the pixie. "I'm gonna give you two wishes. What will the first one be?" The hippie thinks for a moment and then says, "I want a never-ending joint." So the pixie snaps his fingers and there is this king-sized joint. The hippie jacks it up and starts puffing. After five hits the joint is still the same length. Next the pixie says, "...And number two?" The hippie replies, "This is so cool man! Gimme another one!" "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!" Did you hear about the stoners that locked their keys in the car ? It took them two hours to get out. Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner ? A. The drunk will drive through a stop sign while the stoner will wait for it to turn green. Two stoners were walking and saw a fly on a pile of crap. One stoner says to the other- Wow he had to go bad.
2 muffins are sitting in the oven. one of the muffins said "jeez, it's hot in here." the other muffin then said "omfg, a talking muffin!"
oh god! i think they are so funny cuz im high but that hippie one was fuckin cool! did he have to ash it?