Social Exclusion- Why?

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by FindingTim, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. #1 FindingTim, Mar 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2012
    I have a question for you all.
    After 22 years of life, it's become clear that my presence is somehow a burden to others. No matter where I go (summer camp, high school, college etc.) I always end up alone.

    Now hear me out, this isn't a call for sympathy. I just want to understand. Why?
    Just now, it happened again. My roommates had some girls over (two of them stunningly gorgeous) and we were all hanging out, drinking whiskey, playing awesome music, chatting. But then, when it came time to leave to go attend a party, there "was not enough room in the car for me." This might sound like a valid excuse, but based on past experiences, I predicted it would happen before it even happened.

    If I was a pedantic nerd in overalls, I'd understand-- but I'm not. Far from it, in fact.
    I am kind, genuine, super athletic, good-looking, and friendly. I am only a nerd on the inside. Yet, wherever I go, there I am-- alone.

    I've been searching for answers my whole life, and I still haven't found them. Why, despite my best efforts, am I exiled? This is probably hard to answer, because none of you know me, but at this point, I'm desperate for the truth even if it hurts. Am I crazy but the last one to realize it?

    I am solidly buzzed, and I'd love to go party right now. But I suppose I'll have to settle for episode 7 of Homeland, some shrimp pad thai, and some music. That will get me through tonight.
     
  2. Some people tend to be more introverted by nature. It could be that you surround yourself with a lot of more extroverted people who are confused by your laid back nature or your unusual personality. I don't really know man, I mean I consider myself to be an extroveted introvert. Meaning that I come across as being pretty sociable and extroveted, but my true nature is to be more of a loner. I prefer the company of a couple of close friends to a large group of people the majority of the time.

    What nerd-like qualities do you feel that you have "inside" that you believe may be isolating you from others?
     
  3. #3 FindingTim, Mar 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2012
    if I answer that honestly I'll sound like an elitist snob.
    hmm well.. I try to conceal my nerdiness (and apparently do it quite well!) When people read my writing they are shocked I am capable of somewhat complex thoughts lol.

    honestly I'm not really sure how to respond to that question...
     
  4. ^ haha it's all good man, I'm an elietist snob myself in a couple of areas, just go for it.

    Ah, a writer huh? What sort of stuff do you like writing?
     
  5. everything. humor, philosophy, sports... and when I'm REALLY stoned: poetry.
    how are you an elitist snob? haha
     
  6. Find a group and stick with them. The group should be moderately big, befriend each and everyone of them- get to know them personally and be apart or support the group. That's at least my method of the inner workings of social circles.
     

  7. Nice. I write poetry here and there myself, and on occasion I attempt fiction.

    Care to share any of your work? I'm down to read it.

    I'm typically an elitist snob in regard to music. I think that my taste is superior to everyone elses and act accordingly
     
  8. Nickelback fan, eh? ;)
    bad joke. too easy.

    I keep my writings to myself.. but one day... one day...
    ok i'm gonna put you on the spot: if one song could be played at your funeral, what would it be?
     
  9. I'll trade you a poem for a poem. All writers are sensitive about their writings to at least a certain degree, screw it man. We're both sitting at home on St. Patricks day night...well actually the next morning now, lets trade a poem.

    Hmm. Well it wouldn't be a song as much as a piece, but I'm gonna say that De Profundis by Arvo Pärt would be what I'd have played.
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhcYvl0Cxh0]Arvo Part - De Profundis - YouTube[/ame]
     
  10. I dug that. thanks for sharing.
    Well, as luck should have it, a friend called and invited me to a party only minutes after creating this thread. At this point though it's time for some shuteye.

    but first, IsmokeGreen: you are my favorite internet person ever. seriously man, thank you. some day I hope we cross paths in the non-virtual world.
     
  11. Well damn.
    Thanks man, and thanks for the rep too by the way. You don't have a comment section on your profile.
     
  12. Op, get in where you fit in.
     
  13. I'm the exact same way in regards to how I see myself. I'm a writer, introvert at heart I love being alone, but no one would ever know that. I think your trouble is your friends bro. No one should ever have to feel outcastes by friends. Shit, if there wasn't enough room in the car my buds would be like, you bitches go ahead and we'll meet you there my homie doesn't have a ride.

    Kind of fucked if you ask me. Also, the best writers tend to be the most disturbed... It's a catch 22 but my best writing comes out when I'm mad, sad, depressed, or downright indifferent to everything. When I'm extremely happy, I feel like my writing is fucking boring. Maybe you see things similarly.

    My advice would be to try and stick with only the friends who really know you. Half my friends are just friends that do the same shit as me and all that jazz, only a few really understand me totally...
     
  14. thanks man, I appreciate your input.
    back home I have an amazing group of friends. but people at my college are freakishly rich, super conservative, and as far from "real" as one can get. This campus is the epicenter of superficial culture.

    so maybe the problem is neither them nor me, but the stark differences between us. Maybe I'm a giraffe trying to herd with gazelles. (or...a wolf trying to herd with sheep)

    in the end, I think I'm pretty fuckin cool, and if people can't appreciate that, or my "weirdness" interferes with their social reputations, then that is their loss.
     
  15. Hey man I feel you, I'm kinda the same way always getting excluded by my friends, it's pretty gay because I'm not really sure why they do it. It's not like I'm some annoying freak or something, I mean I love sports, love hip hop, smoking weed, and video games, but for some reason all my "friends" never call me to hangout or anything and when I text them they don't answer, text me back 5 hours later, or say they might be able to or some crap like that. I mean I don't know why, I always throw down weed or money, I have a car, we all like 90s rap and for some reason I'm always getting excluded. I'm pretty introverted and I like being by myself but sometimes it gets boring ya know, like I actually want to chill with someone and then nobody likes me or something... Idk I can't wait till I get the fuck out of Houston and go to college far far away...
     
  16. yeah, i call me the social retard.
     

  17. I feel the exact same way man. My darkest states of mind produce my best writings.
     
  18. Sometimes the people around you leave little to be desired?

    You said so yourself FT. Most are superficial, where you my friend are a thinker. I would gather that you like a variety of things and can fit into almost any social setting, which is good, but sometimes people can almost sense the difference. You never know, you may be the one that breaks the mold. Just because any group has standards, doesn't mean they all feel the same. Maybe attend a poetry reading at a coffee shop (if close by). They usually are laid back and open minded unless filled with upper class yuppies.
     

  19. ^This. I occasionally go to this tea/bookstore downtown and just hang out. You meet cool people there if you hang out long enough, I've gotten into political discussions, philosophy, music... People play chess there on occasion. Those kinda artsy coffee/tea places are pretty great, at least in a college town.

    Sadly for the most part the college is filled with a bunch of partiers who prefer clubbing and shit like that so there aren't a lot of places like it around here.
     
  20. [quote name='"ismokegreen"']Some people tend to be more introverted by nature. It could be that you surround yourself with a lot of more extroverted people who are confused by your laid back nature or your unusual personality. I don't really know man, I mean I consider myself to be an extroveted introvert. Meaning that I come across as being pretty sociable and extroveted, but my true nature is to be more of a loner. I prefer the company of a couple of close friends to a large group of people the majority of the time.

    What nerd-like qualities do you feel that you have "inside" that you believe may be isolating you from others?[/quote]

    That's exactly how I am man. One day I realized I didn't have enough friends and started acting differently around people, now it's just kind of who I am.
     

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