Social anxiety?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Spooderman, Oct 18, 2014.

  1. Hey guys, I didn't know exactly where to put this, so I just put it here (as it is a story from my life).
    So recently, I have been feeling really down and depressed. I'm struggling hard to get out of bed every single morning, and it's like I have no motivation at all. The thing is, that I've been experiencing very bad self-esteem lately. I feel like people are constantly judging me, I find it hard to look people in the eyes, and some days I even choke up a bit when talking to my best friends.... 
    The thing is, that I consider my self as pretty good-looking and I have lots of friends, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm not good enough. I've got this bad, nervous feeling in my stomach almost throughout every day. What's wierd about this is that some days I'm actually really confident, and other days its the complete fucking opposite. 
    I have a very rare chest deformity called "pectus carinatum". Even though it is mild case of the deformity, this is something I am really fucking self-consious about. It doesn't even show if im not wearing tight sweaters or t-shirts, but I just can seem to find peace with it. I've known about this deformity for about 2 years now.
    I really do not know where I'm going with this thread, just needed to take my time and vent out some feelings. Maybe some of you guys are experiencing the same, or got any advice? I would really appreciate some input on this. I used to be a very outgoing person, and I feel like this is affecting my life-quality right now... 
    TL; DR: Self-concious, anxious: tips/experiences?

  2. I think it sounds like you're telling yourself negative things constantly, and it's effecting you mentally.

    but out of all the mental issues i've seen and talked about yours seems easily changeable, Take a night alone, listen to some nice mellow music, smoke, and meditate about life. You'll realize nothing is what you make it out to be, and you just need to not give a single fuck what ANYONE other than you thinks about yourself, then go from there. 

    You need to just reevaluate your life and your goals, make yourself a reason to live happily, and fight for it. 

    Good luck !
  3. Hey man, thanks for your response. Really appreciate it!
    Ive tried just brush it off as negative thoughts... but that's harder than it sounds like, atleast it is for me :mellow:
    And its not easy to talk to someone about something like this, you know? It's kind of a distinct issue.. (which really should be something with no tabu attached, psychological health is after all a real thing) :)

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  4. #4 Cawdswallup, Oct 18, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2014
    Try excessive drinking.

    I'm joking. Don't do that, I think it only works for me.
  5. I feel you bro, some days i feel numb and grey, other days i feel on top of the world.
    It could be manic depression.

    Sent from my SGH-I337M using Grasscity Forum mobile app
  6. Yeah, I've had a terrible anxiety disorder for over 10 years, I know how it is. I believe you can do it though man..
  7. I used to suffer from pretty bad depression and anxiety, until one day it just clicked. You can choose what you think about, if you think about how nervous the situation makes you you're going to dwell on that the whole time. Try to concentrate on the positive aspects of life, and eventually it will become habit.
  8. I really hope I can do that one day, thank you for good tips man :)

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  9. Do everything in love and it'll come man. First you need to accept your flaws and move on, we all have them. Find what you're good at, eat healthy, workout and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF!

    But I mean if it's lasting longer than a couple months you might want look into seeing a therapist. Best to treat it early on.
  10. From the way you describe it there maybe a physiological factor that is playing a role in the issues you're dealing with.  You may be dealing with clinical depression, bipolar disorder, or an anxiety disorder.  I don't know enough about your background to offer any meaningful advice.  What I can do is direct you to a site that will help you figure out what's going on.
    Everyone has a time in their life when they feel down or sad.  It's a part of the human experience.  But, sometimes it's difficult to rid yourself of those feelings and with time the problem can cause physiological changes in your brain chemistry that needs to be treated.
    If you feel up to it here's a link that has quizzes for specific disorders that might help you figure out what's going on.  If this persists more than 3 to 4 months then you need treatment.  Here's the link: 
    Well you need to make peace with your chest deal. Once you can laugh about it you are good. I struggled with body issues when I was younger (extremely skinny, like holocaust skinny) but eventually I just said fuck it and started BIG PIMPIN everyday and now I got bitchez on mah dick 24/7, nah just playin lol but seriously I stopped giving a fuck and life became a magic ride everday, Hope you find peace
  12. Make use with your deformed chest man! I used to fill mine up with skittles and then dine like a king while taking a bath growing up. I don't walk around in public without a shirt on because that would obviously get those wtf looks (not that I'd care, just why do it if I don't need to?) nobody is going to care.. Even if they do you honestly shouldn't care to that extent of what they think about you
  13. I feel ya man. I've been socially anxious since I was a kid. I got a bit depressed last year and combined with social anxiety it was pretty rough for a few months. I tried medication for a while, but I stopped because I felt it didn't work. Also, I've always had a bit of trouble talking to people because I'm self conscious about my teeth. I've recently got braces to fix that problem, and so far I've noticed good changes. For some people it's tough to get over whatever makes them self conscious. It'll always be on your mind and you can't just forget about it, especially for anxious people.
    I know what it's like to always feel like you're being judged or scrutinized, but in reality nobody really cares. Most people are worrying about their own problems. That's what I try to tell myself anyway. The judgmental people aren't worth having in your life, so I try not to give them much thought. If you like being social with people you're close to, keep doing that. If you're comfortable enough with your best friends, let them know what bothers you. If they're truly your friends they'll understand and help you with it. They might even open up to you and your bond could strengthen.
    You're not the only one out there that feels this way, don't worry. Do what you love and the pieces will come together.  :wave:
  14. Best advice I would have for someone in your shoes as someone who used to be in your shoes, learn to accept you for you. You have some things that are fucked up, some things that are great, but that's what it is; balance man. Happiness and confidence comes from within, not from anyone else thinking you're awesome or hot or what the fuck ever. That's where cockiness comes in.
    Spend some time alone, face your demons, accept who you are, what you are, and get to where you need to be based on where you currently are.
    "Monsters are real, ghosts are real too.They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."
    Rock you man, no one else. Also, 98% of life is attitude, and you have to be here anyway, so you might as well make it the best you can. Some people pout cos it's raining, and others take the opportunity to dance. Some pout cos it's too hot, others take the opportunity to sit and appreciate it for what it is. Life is you, man. That's all it is.
  15. #15 Spooderman, Oct 19, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 19, 2014
    Thank you for your insight guys, greatly appreciated. im trying to wash away all the negative thoughts, but its really hard for me to just let something go. I will keep on trying to better myself, because in reality, people have enough to do with themselves.. (i know this deep down, but damn you brain for overthinking every single fucking thought you process)

    Oh and btw Njnerd, my chest is poking outwards, so pouring skittles on it would be kinda hard :D

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  16. #16 TheDankBank, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 20, 2014
    Try to think positive. I have bad social, just anxiety overall. I used to have HORRIBLE acne for 2 years (like cyst and stuff like that) an i finally went to the drs about it an i was on antobiotics for a year. Now i just have some scars but not alot anymore, about 5 scars left. Anyways just think positive! Thats basically it once u start thinking positive all your worries about that stuff just goes away. Good luck man.
  17. Thanks man, appreciate it. Good to hear you got rid of those acnes :)

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  18. i read this a long time ago. hope it helps you out with your social anxieties: 
    The secret, the real secret, to making people like you is this
    Stop obsessing about yourself. Think about them.
    Anyone who's ever had social anxiety, paranoia, or had to have a few drinks to dance, talk, or make love has simply been over-focusing on themselves. Will he like me? What will she think of me? How will they react? What will they think when I do this?
    When we're thinking about the judgment of others or when we're seeking for their approval, we're over focusing on trying to make ourselves into something special. Thus, we enter social situations trying to present ourselves as desirable, cool, and calm. Thus, we end up looking like fools, because we're playing a part.
    Of course, we don't do this by accident. Every day, we're sold on the idea that we must “become” likable. We must buy this product and that product, simply to be accepted. We're not enough as we are, they tell us. So we try to become good enough.
    In a world where everyone is trying to become good enough, everyone's just stuck in their own heads. A person who actually shows interest in another person is a breath of fresh air.
    The truth is – you can't look deeply at a person without allowing them to look deeply into you. And that is how we form real connections – we see and we allow ourselves to be seen.
    If you want people to like you, first learn to like people. Show some interest. Be curious. Ask questions. Notice what they're good at. Give genuine compliments. Pay attention. Get out of your own head!
    We're all perfect, just the way we are. And when we allow ourselves to experience it, we can actually experience each other. And that is the experience of a lifetime. That is what we life for – to connect deeply, to experience deeply, and to appreciate the magic in every pair of eyes.

  19. Not trying to detract the thread from you, OP, but I have an issue that I feel isn't worthy of its own thread but still could use some attention:
    It seems that whenever I am unable to smoke is when I feel I need to do so the most, which I'd imagine is normal. The issue I have with it though is the fact that when this happens I become a very undesirable person to be around: I get irate, impatient, tired, and overall just become someone I know I wouldn't enjoy being around.
    My theory to this phenomenon is that I have always been an uptight person (this is actually true), but smoking the herb mellows me out enough that I can function very well in the presence of others (I can tolerate people rather than not).
    I never thought it was a very big issue, but the pressure has really been adding up lately and I can't just go out and spend all my money on bud just because I'm tense. Any help would be wonderful

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