Social anxiety w/ people you love

Marijuana. That's the reason you're anxious.

 

marijuana is the only thing that helps my anxiety... there have been countless times where i made decisions to better my life while under the influence only to sober up and let my anxiety get in the way again. this is one of the reasons i want to move to Colorado so i can get medical weed and be able to smoke all day. sativa of course but as of right now i feel like i need cannabis if im going to be able to do anything.

 

The MJ only masks the anxiety. Think about it like this; the anxiety is still there after you smoke, right? So it isn't cured by the MJ, right? So you have to learn to deal with it and be comfortable in your sober state. Trust me; you have to deal with this before things start building up.

 

I think sometimes this has to do with vulnerability. A lot of times people have deep rooted issues with vulnerability that they aren't even aware of. I've often found myself more comfortable around new people than some true, long-time friends of mine. I've chalked this up to the fact that new people don't know much about me and I'm able to feel as though I'm starting off with a new slate rather than with people who just know too damn much! This is actually a underlying vulnerability problem that can cause issues between socializing and creating meaningful relationships with other people.

A lot of issues like this are deeply internal, and speculation from outside opinions can't truly help because each person and each problem is unique to their experiences and viewpoints. So, I can really only speak for myself when discussion like this arrives.
I was very socially isolated as a child, from everyone (parents, siblings, friends and family). I believe, for myself, that is what caused my own issues with vulnerability and maintaining relationships. It caused somewhat of a disconnect with others and a "safe zone" for me to fall back on when I start to feel I am getting too close to someone or am feeling uncomfortable.

In my opinion, the only way to really rectify situations like this is being very self-aware-- do some soul searching to find out what underlying issues may be causing you to feel this way. Once you start to understand yourself, your past and your feelings, then you can start taking steps towards putting yourself in a position to feel better and be happy.

 

[quote name='"SublimeFTW420"']

It's unbelieabable how much this makes sense to me. I've always been introspective, and your perspective of thinking about it is fucking dead on to my experiences of life. As much as I like to 'not give a fuck' I just do that as a disguise to not show how much of a fuck im actually given[/quote]

I'm pretty much the same way.
I hope it helped a little at least!

 

Ive been anxious around my family my entire life. They are just really uncomfortable to be around. They always argue and drink.
Smoking makes me care less about how stupid they can be.

 

Sometimes I think I'm the only one with these problems but posts like this remind me we're not alone. I sometimes have days where it feels like all my anxieties have disappeared and I'm able to connect with people. The next day it's like I've gone back to the start and I'm struggling to stay calm with even my most trusted friends.

Just putting in my opinion on the role cannabis plays in all of this; in my opinion cannabis doesn't create these issues it only has the potential to bring awareness to them. I haven't had any weed in over 2 months and I haven't consumed large amounts in even longer and these problems still exist for me. They existed before I even touched weed too.

Imo you have to find your own way of dealing with it. I think it's wrong to see your anxieties as anything more than what they are. It is a cultural expectation that people act a certain way in society and if you feel like you don't fit into that then it can make you feel much worse about the way you are. Some people are just shy and not good with social situations, it doesn't mean you have to change so that you are the opposite of that. Accept what you are and make peace with yourself, bring a different perspective onto your shyness and they won't seem like problems anymore, just characteristics.

 

Some excellent posts here.

This just reveals that the issues that cause this, while they can temporarily appear to disappear, must always return until you're able to not only shine a light on them, but accept them, and let them go when you do.

Like some have mentioned, cannabis is not some magic weed that cures everything, even though it is a sacred plant and can help much, how it's used matters more than what it is.

When you notice you're having negative thoughts or experiences, and they repeat themselves, some try to mask them by taking more or doing other things. It's important to take a break from using cannabis or anything at this point instead in order to bring yourself back to a baseline state of consciousness. 3 days should be enough.

Then, make a conscious and deliberate intention, much like you might do just before bed, when looking to remember your dream or have a lucid one, to experience something that will offer insight into where the issue comes from. Put yourself in a solitary place, where you won't be disturbed. Earplugs in if it's noisy, or gentle meditation music on headphones, and then, without letting your thoughts go where they normally do, try to be present with yourself. Just be there, without thinking about anything, and become as still as you can. Let go of the need to find the answer to anything. Just be.

At some point, something should appear, some thought/experience from the past, perhaps way back in time, that you may have forgotten, or not looked at properly, or not wanted to look at. Look at it from this place of stillness. Make no judgments about it. Just look at it. See what you see. As soon as you recognise something like this, without judging yourself or it as wrong, you begin the process of healing yourself from its effects.

This is something that cannot be rushed. It takes time to deal with psychological stuff like this. But once you shine a light onto things that normally sit in darkness, they can never go back there.

 

I'm struggling with this too.

Just cannot relax around people at times, and not even with myself - so I drink/smoke and watch back-to-back TV series in order to escape the constant THINKING.

See potential in proposed solutions, but stuck in a never-ending place trying to decide which approach to take and in what order, and when, and how long for? And then there's "Why?".

 

Watching back to back TV, while drinking/smoking won't help - some say it could actually make things worse.

Try not to over-think this. I believe that drinking and smoking at the same time isn't good for you. The combination of alcohol, tobacco and cannabis when taken together is too numbing (which is probably what you want) but the price of needing to escape, rather than dealing with this, will always come back to bite you.

Have a go at proposed solutions and see how you get on.

 

[quote name='"Giorgio"']I'm struggling with this too.

Just cannot relax around people at times, and not even with myself - so I drink/smoke and watch back-to-back TV series in order to escape the constant THINKING.

See potential in proposed solutions, but stuck in a never-ending place trying to decide which approach to take and in what order, and when, and how long for? And then there's "Why?".[/quote]

I do things like this as well, I had to "just" drink/smoke because unmentionables were getting out of hand. I think self awareness is key as another post said. I have become really good at escapism over the years. If it isn't drugs, I play games, watch tv, "obsess" and I mean obsess on other people that have traits to them I like. I actually just did a presentation on my biggest fear for speech class. There was only a minute to prepare so I had to wing it, I basically just talked about how losing control is my biggest fear.

With my wanting to always be in control I continuously doubt my direction in life I have to know all possible outcomes and even then I'm fucked... I used to be so chill, I don't understand how this happened. But, everyday I do try to get better I try to think as little as possible (practice mindfulness) and when I do think and its negative or something I replace it with something positive (cognitive therapy). The only problem is doing this consistently, but hopefully with the grounding exercises I'm doing I can focus more.

 

That should do it. It's only a question of time.

 

I have this feeling so much also lately. I've gotten to the point of trying to just isolate myself from everyone so I don't have to deal with the anxiety around them. I've stopped hanging with friends, got my own place in my dads basement and don't really talk to him, don't talk to most of my family unless I have to, and don't talk at work, again unless I have to. And it feels like everytime I'm around someone they act like their walking on eggshells or trying to tell me something subliminally.

Idk what to do anymore and its getting worse. I've started a tbreak but that sucks and I just want to be alone but my family keeps getting in my shit and it makes me feel even worse. It's just become a vicious circle.

Edit: I'm just slipping further and further into depression cause my family won't tell me what I do wrong when I'm around them and I can't see what I'm doing wrong. I'm so close to just giving up and moving away from everyone and being a complete loner

 

Some people do need help with this. It's not easy dealing with it yourself. Have you tried meds? Have you seen a professional?

 

No meds, I just tried smokin less but that didn't work too well. Haven't seen a professional, it was hard to type that alone cause I really don't like asking for help for anything really.

Edit: oh and I do that tv show/video game thing, just obsessively watch a series and move onto the next

 

What happened when you smoked less?

I hear you man. It's not always easy to ask for help - I know. But sometimes you just have to. Anyway, you're here and sharing what's going on for you. It can only help.

 

Nothing really, things just stayed the same, it may have slowed the progression of whatever this is.

And I really appreciate you talkin to me man.

Can mj bring out dormant mental illnesses? Like my family has a history of bipolar, some schizophrenia, and other stuff I can't remember on BOTH sides. Its all pretty consistent in the more recent generations (great grandparents, grandparents, and parents)

 

[quote name='"tHe LoNLy StOnR"']Marijuana. That's the reason you're anxious.[/quote]

Not in my case either.. Weed is the only thing that calms my anxiety. When I smoke, i enjoy going to public places, I enjoy being out and away. When I don't smoke, if I have to go somewhere I get annoyed the frustration sets in, then I'm just angry. I can't even go to family functions without smoking or everybody has to walk on egg shells around me because of my lack of patience..