I'm 20 years old, at that point where I should either be going to college or working a decent job, I chose the ladder from an early age. I'm a very active person, I read what a lot of people would call conspiracies but I don't believe everything I read. I read a lot of religious teachings but I don't follow any one religion however I am monotheistic. I believe in a lot of spiritual things, I'm intelligent enough to see miles past the norm, but I'm no genius. I have an IQ of 138 which is pretty damn high in America, but I feel like no matter what I do my talents will be wasted. I'm very creative, I love making music, reading, thinking of innovative ways to handle my duties at my job but I'm growing up in a time worse than the Great Depression. How do I "prepare" for a future I don't even believe will happen? I don't think 2012 will be the end of the world but even if all of the predictions were wrong, I don't see this world lasting past 2020. America is pretty much the cause of all this, we are a country so strung up on our governments lies that we've let ourselves (as a whole, I know that there are numerous conscious people out there) become unhealthy, addicted to poison, forced to be content living check to check, and most importantly stupid. We are a nation built on hypocrisy, "United We Stand", yet since America was born the bastard child of a raped nation, it's been divided. We get the age old option of Red or Blue. Rep vs Dem and the rest aren't very much considered. It's always professional mudslinging around campaign time and every year the average person says "it's not like they're going to do what they say", and yet they vote for someone they think "deserves" it when that's furthest from the truth. We are a nation of mute puppets, we can speak, but our own words are lost somewhere, misdirected in all the bullshit fed to us from sources supposed to be supplying the truth. We as people spend hundreds on "smart" phones the lag, break, stop functioning properly. Thousands on cars that start to break down, little things here and there fall apart, and we've become accustom to our shit just breaking as if that's the way it is. We all pay taxes to schools that don't even educate, our government is trillions in the hole and the warpigs leading the banks pulling the strings in the soap opera we call politics won't stay out of other countries. For fuck sake we live in a country that allows you to smoke a "drug", but not buy sell or possess it without a card (in a few states). A country that considers a plant with more than 200 uses a drug that if caught with or even just with paraphernalia, punishable as if that person had cocaine, or heroine. They trick young kids into being considered "addicted" to marijuana after given a choice or jail or rehab classes. So how does one consider making a life decision when there's barely a life left to be had. Even with financial aid college will have you paying back loans years after you graduate, and even if you went in for something profitable you have to work harder then all the other people who've went through those same if not better courses. With only a high school diploma you're looking at a factory job or linking with a company early to gain seniority throughout your "career" which is essentially just a job now, only to be threatened by unions. I'd love to move to a different state, but with the economy in the shape it is it's almost as if we live in a simulated reality designed to keep all the cogs in check, slowly working towards a greater cause. Some will dispute it, some go overboard with theories spouting ignorant wisdom, but in the end...it doesn't really matter, at all. Not on a universal scale, if you don't believe in a God or an afterlife then not even spiritual. So how the fuck am I supposed to just pick a road and follow it when they all seem to lead to disaster and unimportance. I believe in God but in such a crazy world that's lost so much of it's different cultures, expanded religious teachings to the point that there are wars over the slightest differences in teachings that all say the same essential thing, it's hard to believe things will pan out, and then actually look forward to such a laughable fantasy. This just started as a random post while I was smoking a blunt, I don't really care if anyone responds to be honest because I know someones going to disagree with something I said somewhere in the post. I'm just glad I could get that off my chest a little and I hope somebody out there understands and can contribute some of their own thoughts.