Gonna be a long read. GREATLY appreciate anyone who gives me advice. Background: We've been dating 2 years now. Starting seeing each other when we were both 17, we're both 19. She's had a hard life with an alcoholic dad and such. I have sympathy but she's always taking it out on me Here's a quick text convo Her; I really miss you I want to spend more time with you (To GC: Keep in mind we see each other 3+ times a week, between work and school). Me: Aww baby. Chill tomorrow? Her: Okay I'll take what I can get Me: I love ya Her: ILYT I want you here Her: Answer me Her: Me: Oh sorry didn't check my phone (TO GC:This was an hour). You'll see me tomorrow Her: But I need you Me: I'll be there tomorrow Her: Sorry i'm just rly upset Me: Random jiberish about my day Her: U said if I needed u you'd be there Me: Alright i'll be over in 10 min.. Her: No, it's ok. Forget it Stuff like that. WHY does she need to be like that? I really need somebodys opinion here..
It's like that more often then not. Right now it's her father (Main issue since we started dating). Her parents are divorced, and she hasn't spoken to him in maybe 5-10 days or so. Iunno. I guess it's just upsetting her more with father's day just around the corner.
Well, problems like that rarely go away overnight... you'll probably be dealing with that as long as you are with her.
If its been two years man, she ought to be able to lean on you in troubled times. The shitty part is, as Pimp said, "problems like that rarely go away overnight" Very true. I'm a grown adult and recently had a blow out with my father and.. it felt like i was fractured... part of me here part of me there.. What i can offer you for advice is, don't kick'er when she's down. Hopefully she will at some point in her life gain the capacity to forgive and forget for the sake of her own well being. Good luck man
When I'm dating someone I like to spend as much time as possible with them, but I would definitely be satisfied with 3+ times a week so I don't see why she's so upset with you. But If she's going through some shit you should be doing everything in your ability to keep her mind off of it. That's what I expect all of my friends, family members, and S.O.(s) to do whenever I am facing a tough issue. I don't need constant attention, just a little pep when I fall especially deep into dark thoughts. If this happens all the time, (ex. every week) you should try to get to the root of the problem and then determine if it can be fixed/ whether or not the relationship should be maintained. Or Maybe you shouldn't make empty promises of "always being there when she needs you" if you don't intend to keep them. Life and relationships are sooooo much easier when you decide to be open and honest with yourself and others.
That's just it, I'm not making empty promises. She wanted me to come over - I would have if she didn't say not to. Whens he's down, I'm there to cheer her up. It just makes it really hard to have a good time with her when she'll get upset over nothing and be extremely silent the entire night.
My ex was the same way. Did you just see what I called her? Life is draining by itself, no need to surround yourself with people who make it harder.
If she's pulling the silent treatment and getting all worked over things you don't understand then that's really not good. I let someone walk over me in the exact same way constantly. She more or less would think or say something, and if it didn't click in my brain immediately then it would turn into the whole silent thing for no apparent reason, or I would be told I'm not listening or not understanding when I honestly trying to. Just forget it. I remember those 3 words all over the course of each week with this girl. Idk, if she doesn't stop, I'd say that you're better without the random silence and added stress. My GF was depressed, anxious and all over the place. She needed constantly reassurance and comfort and that just got irritating after I spent like you, 3-4 days a week with her.
Wow call me crazy but my boyfriend and I have spent literally every single day together with the exception of maybe one or two days apart since we've been dating. We hate even going one day without each other, maybe we're just psycho or maybe it's the fact that we have this amazing bond that I don't think anybody else will ever have. He's my best friend, future husband, and soulmate...I can't imagine only seeing each other three times a week. I probably sound pathetic over the internet but you'd have to know us personally to understand it. Be there for her more, I'm in a similar situation and I know I couldn't get through it without the support of my boyfriend just like he couldn't get through his struggles without me. Sometimes you need another person to make you feel like everything will really be okay in the end and if it's not at least you have each other.
I feel ya Harley women are complicated and speak with emotion, men are more about sharing information.. its just the way it is.
Talk to your girl about why she's really upset. Decide if helping her fix the problem is worth your(and her) time.
I've said all of this twice before. I believed it truly, and so did my partner. If you feel that way though, then it's definitely a good thing, but remember that just because you want to spend all of the time you can with each, that mostly every human will grow tired of that routine quick, if it exists for a long, long time. Or at least that's what I find happened. Everyone is different, just don't take things for granted and invest everything into your partner early on, even if it does feel good.
when you tell a girl youll be over in like 10 minutes and she says forget it say "fine but are we still on for tomorrow?" or some shit like that, get there in like an hour and say you couldnt stop thinking about her and shit like that... sex erry tiem
lol at her texting you 3 times cause you didn't respond right away.. what would girls these days do if we had no cell phones?
sounds to me like she just wants you dude. its not depression, it's her way of showing that she cares for you! and when your not around it is much harder for her to do that. Giver her a break and go visit the girl
i suspect cheating, i may be wrong, i know nothing about your relationship. but ive seen this happen many times. It just happened to my boyfriends best friend not too long ago. He was with this girl for a little over 2 years, they saw each other hear and there throughout the week between school and work and such similar to your story, then they stated seeing each other less and less. She started acting kinda depressed, and not too talkative over the phone, and soon he found out she was seeing someone else on the side. I would just talk with her and try to see whats bothering her, if she loves you she will talk things out with you and try to make the relationship better. If she continues to act distant from you, i would suspect something.