So... here's how not to get your ass caught.

Well, I see far too many 'I still live with my parents; how can I cover up the smell' type threads, and I thought I'd try and summarise everything, to make it neat and tidy, for incognito underage smokers (we're not stupid, we know you're out there) and for older tokers who are stuck at home, and are planning on toking inside.

First off the bat, there is no way you're gonna be able to smoke a joint, or anything rolled for that matter, in your bedroom. It's majorly stinky, and unless you have a free house for a few days it's just going to go wrong. A bong is better, but then you're left with a tell tale bubbling noise, and although you can cover it up with music it sure isn't perfect. A pipe is definitely the way to go if you're smoking. Vaping, however, is far better than any of these methods, but I'll cover that in a bit.

So, you've got a method, now you need your accessories. A lot of people suggest reaching for some incense or a scented candle- I'd hesitate. If you burn incense/ candles on the regular, and your folks are none the wiser, than go for it. It'll go a long way. However, if you've never done either before, eyebrows will be raised. Mumma and Papa might well put two and two together and bust you. That's no good. My personal favourite idea is burning a regular, unscented candle. That's right. It doesn't smell, much, so it's not like you're trying to hide something. But, I find (I might be talking out of my butt here) that the fire burns off particulate matter in the air that comes with smoke, so if it's near to you, it might go a bit farther in covering your hits. It also has a second advantage...

So now you need a lighter. But, it comes with the 'flick flick' that is so very telling. Now, I like to go one of two ways- an electric lighter that only has a short 'click' to get a flame going, or - here's where the candle comes in - hold a regular lighter up near the candle flame, and push down on the gas so you take the candle's flame. Now you can spark up with practically no noise. Add music to taste; low enough so you can hear your 'rents coming to your door, but loud enough to cover any extra noise.

Now, the smell. The most important bit. First, a sploof. Normally, made with dryer sheets stuffed into a toilet roll, you exhale your hits through it, and it comes out smelling considerably less of weed and more like daisies. A better method many attest to is using activated carbon in sploofs. I've never tried it myself, but you can pick it up at pet shops, it's used in aquariums. If you have no dryer sheets, or activated carbon, spray some toilet paper with body spray, etc, or even just leave it plain, and stuff that in instead. It'll be better than nothing. There is also a third party solution, called the Smoke Buddy. Again, never tried one myself, but if you don't mind paying $20 for one, than from what I've heard they're great. Open your window. You'll want to exhale, using the sploof, right out the window. Not near it, right out of it. Then you'll be pretty smell free.

There are plenty of fan fans out there. Haha. A fan is a good idea, but having it on full blast in the middle of the winter is hardly stealthy. So, if your rents are home, leave it off, especially if you don't use it much otherwise. But, if they aren't, then it's a good idea to have one, because they're great at getting smell out. Set one up facing out of your window and you're pretty much set. Just remember to pack it up before Mumma and Papa get home, else they'll twig on.

Eyes redder than the devil's dick? That's a problem for a lot of people who need to hide their state of mind. Eyedrops are a common solution, and a lot of people will recommend different brands- I just use boring old Visine but they all work. A lot of people don't like the sensation, and if you don't you might want to consider putting them in before toking so it doesn't bring your high down. I have also heard that drinking a whole lot of water will keep your eyes from going red- when I tried it, it seemed to work but it doesn't seem too foolproof.

Now, if you have the money, buy a vape. MFLBs are (probably) the most stealthy, they're also inexpensive, and a great investment. However, any vape will be less smelly than smoking, it's in their nature. Don't be fooled into thinking they're 100% odourless, though- there's no reason to stop using a sploof, etc.

Other tips: Always cover your bowl after hits, to stop excess smoke escaping from the cherry (or better still, pack 'snaps'; just enough for a single hit). Use a coin, or your lighter, and hold your hits for as long as you can (without coughing up a lung). Don't put a towel under your door, it won't help much, or at all, and will only seem more obvious. You should also thing about where you're smoking, and if you have a place to stash your piece out of view at a moment's notice. Keep your stash in an airtight jar, and when you get a chance (rents are out for a few days) clean your pieces, or they'll start to smell up.

Finally, if you are an underage toker, keep it safe. I started at 13, myself, but I kept it cool, and now I'm doing well for myself. Don't let the weed smoke you, you dig?

I hope summing up the info I've gathered can help a few dudes out.

 

I shall do, I meant to add the fact I wanted to do that at the end of the thread So, anyone with ideas other than 'go outside' (which does work a whole bunch better, granted) feel free to chip in.

 

I'll add these in a little bit, anybody else have any extras?

 

Okay, I've updated it to talk about using fans. I'm leaving out smoking in the bathroom for the time being, but I'll add that at some point once I can bother to scour the internet.